confusifying | wicked | book 3/3

Elphie

"You have to fix her!" Boc cries.
Storming into the bedroom I'm sat in, the one that Nessa has been in this whole time, I've been sat on the bed wallowing in shame and all of a sudden Boc as burst in sounding angrier than ever.
"Boc are you okay?"I question, already well aware of the answer.
"Take it back!" He bellows, staring at me angrily "whatever you gave your sister you need to take it back."
"Boc I can't do that"
"She wants to die!" Boc shouts, taking a deep breath and slowly sitting down on the bed beside me.
"Elphaba we have to do something, I can't let her hurt like this." He whispers "I love her too much to watch her hurt like this."
I lie backwards onto the bed and soon notifying me with a soft thud, Boc is doing the same.
"I kept shouting at her." Boc mumble emptily "but I wasn't angry with her."
I reach out my hand and pat him carefully on the shoulder, noticing straight away just how tense he feels.
"Of course not." I reply.
Boc puts his arms feebly above his head.
"I was angry at myself for letting her get to a point where she'd rather be dead than alive."
"Boc," I whisper "you know that she'd never want to leave you, she just doesn't want to feel empty anymore."
Boc shakily sniffs back tears, I hate hearing him this upset.
"I can't be near her without getting so angry with myself."
"Why do you think I'm here and not with her." I chuckle feebly "I just can't stand to see her upset anymore."
Boc nods, he breathes a deep sigh.
The air in this room hangs heavy and the bed creaks under our sorrow.

"I've made her terribly upset so many times, she'll get over this." I say reassuringly "she can't hate you Boc, she could never do that."
Boc closes his eyes briefly, I listen as he takes a deep breath and lets it go.
"Every time I close my eyes I see her." Boc announces shakily "I see her lying there dead, does it make me a bad person that if rather her live like this than be dead?"
"Of course it doesn't." I reply gently "you love her Boc."
Boc sits up suddenly.
"You learnt to control them right?" Boc says a glimmer of hope in his eyes.
"No Boc, I didn't" I whisper sadly "they just don't occur as often now, because I can handle my feelings better than she can."
The bed creaks as Boc stands up suddenly, I'm scared I've offended him.
"She must be so tired." Boc mumbles, he walks slowly towards the door.
"Boc where are you going?" I ask cautiously, jumping up to follow him.

He doesn't answer my question and instead walks cautiously into the lounge, I follow him closely.
Nessa and Glinda are sat beside eachother on the sofa, Nessas chair being empty and on the other side of the room.
Ness looks up to see Boc and the two of them make uncomfortable eye contact.
Glinda holds my sisters hand tightly, I watch as my sister tries desperately to maintain her eye contact with Boc.
"Boc." She mumbles, her voice quiet and shaky.
Boc whispers a tearful:
"Sorry"
And pushes past me, back out of the lounge.
"Boc wait!" Nessa cries, the door slamming shut behind me.
I rush over to be with my sister on the sofa, Glinda clings tightly to her, my sister thrashed her arms about, desperate to escape Glindas grasp.
"Boc, Boc!" She wails "I have to be with Boc, I'm so sorry!"
I feel a surge of Nessas grief force it's way into the room as she reaches out towards the door.
Nessas wheelchair topples to the ground with a loud crash and the lights flicker again.

Nessa jumps at the sound of her chair hitting the floor, she stops fighting Glindas grasp and takes a deep breath.
She sits back against the sofa and doesn't speak for a few seconds.
"Elphaba." My sister mumbles after a short while "can you stand my chair up?"
"Do... do you want to go in it?"
"Just stand it up! Please!" My sister snaps.
I walk over to it slowly and with a bit of effort stand the chair upright again, the ornate golden frame freezing my fingertips.
I go and sit back down beside my sister.
The silence resumes.
Glinda makes eye contact with me, over my sisters head.
She smiles pitifully and I attempt to rerun it.

Listening carefully into the silence, I can hear my sisters deep, angry
breathing and I can tell that she wants to explode with rage.
"Nessa" I whisper, she turns her face towards me, there's nothing there, she looks so lost.
"Nessa would you like a drink?" I ask slowly.
"I'm fine." She says sadly.
I stand up and walk over to the kitchen.
"I'm getting myself one, are you sure?" I ask again.
Nessa shrugs.
I fill her up a glass and leave it on the table, I know she can't reach it from the sofa but I know she won't drink it if I just give it to her.
"I should get up." Nessa says calmly, her words far more clear now. "Yes, Elphie fetch my chair"
For whatever reason, I don't question my sister and soon enough she's back in her chair.
My sister looks hopelessly towards the closed lounge door.
"I think Bocs upset with me." Nessa mutters. "He's going to be even more upset when I ask him to leave."
Glinda, who's been awfully silent until now, stands up frantically.
"You can't do that!" She cries.
"Glinda I have to." Nessa snaps.
Glinda storms over to Nessa and drops to her knees, she places her hands over Nessas.
"Nessarose now you listen to me." Glinda huffs "he loves you so much, so much that he can't bare to watch to hurt, you can't make him leave!"
Nessa takes a deep breath and looks at Glinda sternly.
"You don't understand."