confusifying | wicked | book 3/3

Nessa

I can't stop crying as I lie here staring at the ceiling, I can't stop sobbing and shaking and sobbing and shaking.
Boc walks back over to my bed, he sits down upon it gently, swings his legs around and then lies down beside me, his arm over my chest, clutching me tightly.
"I'm so tired." I sob quietly to myself.
Boc holds me tighter as I cry some more.
"That's okay." He whispers gently, "you can be tired Ness, that's perfectly okay."
I close my eyes and cling to Bocs arm.
I want to like on my side and stop staring at this wretched ceiling but I don't have the strength to support myself on my side and I don't have the air to ask Boc to help me.

Instead, I lie and weep until I can't make any sound anymore.
"Nessa is there something I can do?" He asks tenderly, "a way I can help? Do you need me to shut the curtains so you can sleep?"
I shake my head and take a deep breath, forcing myself to stop crying for just a few seconds.
"Boc I want to lie on my side." I mumble.
"Oh- Oh okay." He replies uneasily.
I take another shaky breath.
"I can't do it on my own, you'll have to hold me." I regret what I've said as soon as I say if, I feel awkward.
But Boc immediately starts to shift me ever so gently onto my side, he pushes himself closer so that I'm leaned against him and he places his arm tightly around me.
I breathe a sigh of relief as I stare at the wall.
I haven't been on my side in so very long, it feels triumphant.
"Thank you." I sigh happily.

I open my eyes suddenly, I know I've been asleep because of this weariness I'm feeling, I'm not sure how long it's been, but I'm still on my side.
The room never seems to get dark, with glows from the emerald city flooding through the window at any moment,
so I'm unsure as to what the time is.
I feel less tired than I did before but I still feel drained.
"Boc." I whisper shakily, "Boc I think I'd like to be back on my back now."
Boc nods and gently tilts me backwards until I'm lying flat on my back again.
I evaluated how well I can see the room.
"This isn't going to work." I comment "I'm going to have to be sat up in order to talk properly with mayor Franklin."
Boc once again nods and raises me up with pillows, until I'm only lightly tilted flat.
"Nessa are you sure your ready to have people in to see you?" Boc asks cautiously, he can probably see just how awful I look.
"I have to let him speak to me-"
"Nessa!" Boc cries, interrupting me "if your not ready to talk then no ones coming in here, no one is making you do anything."

I'm reminded of the one winter where I had pneumonia as a child, father sat with me if and when he could but he was always so busy with meetings and functions, he used to come in and see my miserable little face and think that his absence was the sole reason for my sorrow, when in actual fact, I was just incredibly unwell and constantly miserable due to my ailments.
Though I could tell the toll him thinking that he had upset me was taking on him, and I wanted to tell him that he had done me no wrong but I was so sick and so young that I could barley get the words out without feeling sick.
Instead I would just lie there, listening to him cry and apologise.
I had pneumonia for four weeks, but I was unwell for seven and kept inside for ten, during the third week of pneumonia, I grew so weak and so feeble that I could barley keep my eyes open long enough to have something to drink or eat, father told me soon into the fifth week that I nearly died and how lucky I was to be alive.
I never understood him keeping me inside for those extra three weeks after I got better, it infuriated me because I felt fine, but father was paranoid because he had nearly lost me despite the fact that I had recovered, as doctors said, miraculously.

"I think." I whisper to Boc "I think I'm not quite ready to speak with mayor Franklin, but you should let my sister and Glinda in, Elphaba will be riddled with worry."
Box steps towards me again.
"I'll go and get them in a few minutes, you've only just woken up, Nessarose."  Boc responds "your mother told me to tell you that she misses you."
I smile to myself at the news of my mother's words, silently hoping that she's okay, however she has Albert so she must be fine.
"I should think that Elphaba will be driving herself mad out there." I chuckle emptily.

Boc agrees and heads over to the door, I can only assume he's beckoned the two inside as Glinda and Elphaba come bounding in like two deer.
"Nessa!" My sister cries, rushing over to my bedside and throwing herself into the chair beside me.
"Nessa I've been worried sick, I'm so glad your okay." Elphaba exclaims.
I go to touch my hand against hers but I find that I'm much too weak to move my arms that drastically so instead I just gaze over at her lovingly whilst my hands like limply above my duvet.
"Stopping mayor Franklin from barging in here has been quite the challenge, Nessa." Glinda huffs suddenly, my sister enthusiastically agrees. "He's very eager to check on you."
Boc notices the distaste on my face and quickly jumps to my rescue.
"But we won't let him anywhere near this room if you aren't ready." Boc cries.
"Agreed." Glinda chimes in.
I breathe heavily once again.