confusifying | wicked | book 3/3

Elphie

I feel awful, watching my sister be so genuinely terrified of me, it breaks my heart.
I think everyone hates me.
Everyone but Glinda, whom no one has filled in yet.
"Elphaba you should go." Boc growls "your scaring her"
I stand up hurriedly.
"That's my baby sister, you can't expect me to just leave her!"
Boc goes to stand up too, but Glinda holds him down.
"Do you not see how much worse your making her?" Boc cries whilst fighting against Glindas grasp "can't you see the fear in her eyes when she's talking to you?"
I can.
I absolutely can and it's tearing me up inside.
I've never wanted my sister to fear me, she always viewed my powers as an embarrassment but she's never been afraid of me before.
At least not like this.

I hear my sisters voice coming from her office, I press my face up against the crack of door to have a closer listen.
"Hi Doctor Tip, it's Nessarose Thropp." I hear my sister say solemnly, her eyes are so dark and tired looking.
I watch as her arm trembles holding up the phone.
"Yes it's good to speak to you too" she sounds exasperated, it's inconvenient that I cannot hear Doctor Tips voice.
"I'm calling because I know you had a discussion with someone about me, I'm just worried that you may have exaggerated things." Nessa pauses, listening intently to Tips words, "yes I understand that but..."
Her facial expression changes from annoyed to externally angry.
"But Doctor Tip, I'm not dying" Nessa is cut off yet again, "no I'm sorry but I simply won't allow you to come and examine me."
My sister is so stupid, I hate calling her that, I know that she has a real reason to deny the help she's offered but it's just so sad to watch.
"Oh," Nessa says suddenly "he told you about that, I really don't think I've fractured anything... yes I'm aware that I wouldn't feel it, I'm very aware... yes I know that bed rest is the easiest alternative but you don't understand, I'm in so much pain... chronic? Well how is giving it a title going to help, I can't have antibiotics so there's no treatment." Ness pauses, I watch as she struggles to fight off the tears that are forming in her eyes.
"I'm going to have to leave you now Doctor Tip, thank you for your time" she slams the phone down and drops her face into her hands.
I watch her sob into her arms.

I open the lounge door slightly and poke my head out, my sister sits bolt upright and glares at me.
"No, no no" she cries "you stay away from me Elphaba, don't try and tell me to get into bed because it's my life and you don't get a say!"
I close the door and turn back to face everyone.
"I'm sorry my dear, you did try" mother reply's sympathetically.
"Is Albert and Fiyero staying home?" Mother asks Glinda.
"Yes, they thought it best" she replies.
I can never go home, my husband can't know what I've done, he'll think so shamefully of me.
"Someone has to convince my sister to get back into bed." I say firmly "I don't care who it is, but clearly I can't do it"
Glinda looks shamefully down at her feet.

"I can't believe you haven't left," Boc says sternly "the amount of times Nessa has screamed at you."
I'm not happy that Boc is bringing this up.
"Well that's where we differ, your so quick to leave when she asks you to."
"Elphaba that's not fair, I'm just trying to keep her happy"
I laugh to myself,
"And what good did that do? You left her and she fell over!" I cry "she was probably on the floor for hours before mother came, she's probably fractured something but she's too stubborn to admit it."

A sudden scream alerts us all and we rush hurriedly into Nessas office where she is nowhere to be seen, I make a dash for her bedroom to find her examining herself in the mirror.
"Nessa..." I mumble, she spins herself around to face me.
"These bruises," she mutters "did you do this to me?"
I nod my head sadly, too distracted by how incredibly tired my sister looks.
Boc, Glinda and my mother join me in the room.
"Answer me Elphaba" Nessa cries "did you do this?"
"Nessa I think it's best if you lie down, your going to make yourself sick with all this shouting." I mumble, I sound horribly condescending, I'm not trying to be.
"I wouldn't have to shout if you had listened to me when I told you to get out!" Nessa cries "I don't want you here!"
I feel my frustration boiling up inside of me.
"Oh for goodness sake nessa!" I cry "why can't you just take care of yourself? For once in your life can you just listen to me and let me put you to bed without a fight!"
I gesture angrily and yet again the sensation escapes from my fingertips, Nessas chair is thrown backwards towards her bed, she slams into it with a loud crash.

Boc and my mother race to Ness's side, both of them aggressively checking if she's okay, I go to do the same but Glinda stops me.
"Elphie don't." Glinda whispers.
"Nessa I'm sorry, I didn't mean to" I cry taking a step towards my sister, who screams and grapples onto Boc.
"Elphaba go away!" Nessa shrieks "please, please just go away!"
I stumble backwards and knock into Glinda.
"Nessa please, you can't ask me to leave." I reply frantically "you know I didn't mean to do that, any of that!"
"Elphaba, you should go." Glinda whispers to me "we'll take care of her I promise."
I watch as my mother and Boc both work together to lift my sister gently into bed, she sobs at the pain.
That's when I decide that I have to go, they don't need me, I just make things worse.