confusifying | wicked | book 3/3

Elphie

The phone has rung four times in the past five minutes, after fighting with my sister I'm in no mood to answer it.
I don't know how to function after a right with Nessarose.
As a child after we quarrelled, I would go and stand out on the balcony, if Nessa wasn't out there herself, and I'd hope that father didn't come to reprimand me about upsetting Nessarose, especially if she was having a good day until then.
He'd say; it's so rare that we see dear little Nessarose so happy, why do you feel the need to ruin it? and if he was feeling particularly angry, he'd call me selfish for stealing her joy.
Now I don't have father to make me feel guilty for upsetting my sister, I just have myself and I'd argue I can be just as heartless.

Finally, the phone rings for a fifth time and I give in to the annoyance of hearing it ring every two seconds.
"Yes?" I ask bluntly.
"Elphie," the voice on the other end sobs, I can tell it's my sister from the sound but she seems to be so terribly distressed.
"Nessa, are you alright?" I gasp, raising my voice wildly.
My sister takes a deep breath that rattles the phone line.
"Elphaba something's not right." My sister mumbles, she sounds wrong.
I'm sat on the edge of my seat, practically ready to spring into action if Im needed.
"Elphaba are you still there?" Messa wails.
"Yes ness I'm here." I reassure her panic stricken voice.
All at once she begins to cry, loud, painful, pained sobs.
"Ness what's the matter?" I whisper, trying to keep myself calm.
Nessarose takes a deep breath and begins to explain herself.
"Elphaba I'm sick or I think I am" she states "I feel awful, my head is throbbing and I can't do anything."
"Where's marigold?" I ask, suspicious of her lack of presence on the call.

"She's with Glinda." Nessa whispers "I asked them to leave, Elphaba I don't have a lot of time, they'll be back any minute."
Nessa sounds so very afraid that I'm really truly starting to worry that something might be seriously wrong.
"What do you need me to do?" I ask calmly, trying not to raise my voice at her subconsciously.
I've been told I do that a lot; I shout when I'm really just concerned.
"I'm sorry we fought and I'm sorry I've been ignoring you I just needed to-"
"Nessarose!" I snap, cutting her off from her frantic ramblings, I hear more violent sobbing from down the line, "Nessa, do you need me to come down?"
My sister continues to cry and I'm helpless to stop her.
It's a most torturous thing, having to listen to the person that matters to you most be so overcome with emotion.
I need her to pull herself together for a couple of seconds so I can actually gain some information as to what is happening with her.
"Nessa, it's okay, I'm not angry with you." I whisper gently, hoping that she will stop crying and be able to speak to me. 
"Elphaba." My sister croaks, she sounds exhausted. "I'm tired."

Those words hurt me more than anything else she could have possibly said.
She's tired and miserable and there's nothing I can do about it, other than listen to her misery unfold before me like a suffocating blanket.
"I can come down if you want." I offer calmly, deciding that it's best if I don't show up uninvited.
"I have to be a leader, I have to make everyone happy." Nessa weeps "I can't be a leader like this."
Momentarily, I hold the phone away from my ear, unable to listen to the sounds of Nessarose sobbing for much longer.
Soon, Nessa seems to calm down or she simply becomes too tired to cry.
"Elphaba I need you." She whispers.
Finally the words I've been searching for, I quickly bring the phone back up to my ear so I don't miss anything else.
"Nessa I'll be there soon I promise."

On the other end of the phone I hear a door creak open and a quiet voice can be heard.
"Ma'am are you alright?" The unmistakable voice of marigold cries.
I hear Nessarose gasp, and the phone crackles as if it's being violently swung around.
"Get out." She cries feebly "for the love of Oz I don't need to be smothered like this so would you please just leave!"
"Madame you really don't look well, are you feeling tired?" Marigold asks gently.
I can hear my sister frantic breathing down the line.
I star holding my breath as I know nessas temper can be difficult to calm when she begins to get distressed.
"I'm perfectly fine." My sister defends herself poorly, "I just wish to be left alone."
"Is Miss Elphaba still on the phone?" Marigold asks sweetly.
"I don't see what business it is of yours marigold." Nessa snaps.
My sister has started to cry again and her words have become unintelligible.
I hear a rhythmic knock down the phone and my sister gasps and hurriedly ends the phone call.

I'm left with a mess of distressing emotions; I have to get back to Nessarose.
"Oh my goodness." My mother cries from elsewhere in the room, it suddenly occurs to me that she's been here this whole time.
"My beautiful Nessarose." Mother whispers, suddenly dropping to her knees, I race frantically from my seat to sit beside my mother whilst she cries into my arms.
"It's okay, it's going to be okay." I hesitantly reassure my mother "we will go and be with Nessarose."
"My baby." Mother screams, being muffled by my embrace.
It's all she keeps saying; my baby.
Over and over again.
It rings painfully in my ears like a broken bell.
"Mother it's going to be okay, we'll help her." I promise, but I can't keep promises, I shouldn't promise things to people.