confusifying | wicked | book 3/3

Nessa

"Ma'am"
"Marigold please." I whisper "don't talk to me."
The old woman kindly honours my wish to be left alone for a while, though she continues to stay in my room with me.
My brain cannot comprehend what just happened.
I'm upset but I'm not sure why.
Elphaba is gone now and I'm just trying to compose myself before I try to talk to her again.
Nothing else could possibly go as bad as that "discussion" with my sister.
She didn't deserve to be shouted at but neither did I.
Us Thropp girls have always been strong willed, at least from what I was told, my mother was.
She's grown soft and tired since I brought her back to us, I think I'm to blame for that.
People can't be strong willed around me because they feel too bad.
My sister stated the simple fact that I can't walk and I got angry with her.
I'm not sure why, because she's right; I can't walk.
There's nothing more to it.

"Ma'am," marigold croaks gently.
I sigh deeply, I knew that she'd want to talk to me sooner or later but I'm just not in the right frame of mind.
Though nevertheless, I slowly tilt my head towards her.
"Yes Marigold?"
She clears her throat.
"are you alright dear?" She asks
me sweetly, I turn my head away.
"I was horrible too." I grumble stubbornly "you don't have to speak to me kindly."
"You're my patient." Marigold replies calmly "your sister is not. My only concern is your health, Miss Nessarose."
"I see." I reply dryly.
Marigold begins to hum lightly to herself, perhaps to distract her from the pain of trying to hold a pleasant conversation with me.
I'm just not particularly pleasant at the moment.
"Have I upset you, ma'am?" Marigold asks anxiously.
"Not at all," I splutter frantically, "I'm sorry, I just need some time to process what just happened with my sister."
Marigold nods happily, seemingly content with my answer.
"I think you should make up with her." Marigold comments airily.

"Make up with her" I splutter "im not a child, Marigold"
My nurse laughs at my distain, she pats me tenderly on her shoulder.
"I just think that your sister cares for you very much and it would be a shame if she wasn't in your life."
The relationship between my sister and I, is a strange one.
We've been forced to be close and now I want to step back a bit, my sister can't help but want to be near me.
"I do love my sister." I mention angrily.
"I'm not suggesting that you don't." Marigold replies defensively "I think you love her more than you're willing to let her love you."
I'm too stunned to speak and marigold folds her arms victoriously and smiles smugly.
It's the grin of someone who knows they are right, and I hate it.

"Marigold." I whisper defeatedly, the old woman looks at me softly and smiles sweetly. "Does my sister hate me?"
Marigold gasps at the severity of my question.
"Why no! Your sister couldn't hate you even if she tried." Marigold splutters, words leaving her mouth faster than she can comprehend.
I nod unhappily, Marigold smiles and tilts her head towards me.
"Ma'am, your sister will come back, she's just giving you some time to relax and calm down."
just as marigold is reassuring me that my sister will come back to talk to me, the door swings open.
But it's not Elphaba, instead it's Mayor Franklin, followed by Glinda.
"It appears I misunderstood." Franklin replies sheepishly, "the carpenters weren't creating you a new chair madam but simply taking the measurements of your current one incase a repair is necessary."

I nod, Franklin looks rather afraid.
"And the meeting with the other leaders of Oz?" I ask impatiently,
"Three days time, your eminence." Franklin says bowing his head.
I nod yet again.
"Thank you Franklin." I reply calmly.
He smiles anxiously as exits the room.
It's only just occurred to me how unwell I feel, my head is heavy and my breathing feels staggered.
I'm starting to fret about the meeting, what if a dispute starts? What if I'm just not good enough?
"Ness are you alright?" Glinda asks suddenly.
I nod my head feebly.
Glinda doesn't seem convinced and neither does Marigold.
I feel terrible for some odd reason, it's not how it usually starts, normally I can feel the sickness gradually building up but now it seems to have suddenly washed over me in a wave of fatigue.

I think I need my sister, Boc is no use to me when he's sick, he can't do anything close to me.
Elphaba should know what to do.
Marigold leans in close to me and smiles gently.
"Ma'am are you sure everything is quite alright?" She asks.
I look at hear with fear in my eyes, I feel terrible, it's like all of a sudden my body has just shut down.
"I wish to call my sister." I whisper meekly.
Marigold looks helplessly towards glinda, who seems more than smitten with the idea.
"I think there's a phone in here." Glinda says, then she suddenly lets out and excited squeak.
She walks over to the right side of my bed and points to the side table, and there upon it is a solid green phone.
Marigold smiles at me strangely.
I wish she would stop smiling as a form of communication.
"Can someone pass it to me?" I ask, feeling feeble.
Marigold looks awfully concerned at that and Glinda hesitates, hovering her hand over the phone before handing it to me.
I nod slowly upon having the phone placed into my hand.

I feel awful, I'm not sure why, it's like something is drawing out all my energy.
I've not used my powers so I have not reason to be this tired.
It's just not right.
I just feel so terrible and I can't explain why.