confusifying | wicked | book 3/3

Nessa

Boc grins at me from the corner of the room, his smile seems sincere and caring.
"What's up with you?" I query, peering back down at my work.
"Absolutely nothing, just happy to be here I suppose."
I smile internally, because I'm too focused to do it where he can see or at least thats the reason I'm pretending it is.
"Well could you do absolutely nothing over here?" I call "I'm ever so perplexed over this."
Boc nods, grins and marches proudly over to me, I think he looks stupid.
"How can I help?"
Looking at my work, a map of the school, I place a finger on the problem area.
Boc nods and caresses his chin, though he has no clue as to what I'm doing.

"Here's the gymnasium." I say tapping it again "both Mrs Callard and Mr Enox want to use it for their respective lessons but I can't give it to them both on the same day."
Boc leans towards the map, he seems in deep thought, I'm not used to seeing him this focused.
"Make them take turns?" Boc proposes.
"That could work." I reply, I'm a bit annoyed with myself that I didn't think of that.
Perhaps I'm just tired.
"Boc..." I mumble "what were your parents like?"
He scratches his head and looks about himself.
"I wouldn't know, they didn't live with me, I grew up with my Aunt Ellan."
I wasn't expecting that, I wasn't anticipating the sad tone to his voice.
"But it's fine." Boc says abruptly "Aunt El was lovely, though she couldn't cook to save her life. That's why she loved me so much since I taught her how to bake a pie."
"You can cook?!" I exclaim, suddenly enthused with the idea of Boc in a whimsical apron.
Boc smiles proudly.
"Quite well, perhaps you'd try and bake a cake with me Nessarose?"
I want to say no as I'm trying to focus on my work but he has such an astounding twinkle in his eye that I feel cruel saying no.
"Perhaps I would." I reply "you best live up to these high standards that I now have."

I push myself away from my desk and take myself into my bedroom, Boc eagerly follows behind.
"I am awfully tired today." I comment absently.
Bocs footsteps catch my attention for no apparent reason.
I dislike that there isn't carpet in here, it makes the floor easier to navigate but the slightest movement makes the floorboards creak and that unsettles me greatly.
"I suppose you could have a nap."
"A nap." I repeat "I'm such a light sleeper, I've never been able to just simply have a nap."
I continue to look around the room, not remembering if I'd misplaced my fathers diary somewhere or if it's still at Munchkin Manor.
"Boc, do you know where I've put Frex's journal?"
At the sound of my voice, Boc looks likes a rabbit about to be shot, he dramatically shakes his head.
It's blatantly obvious to me that he's lying.
I take a deep breath.
"I'll rephrase that, do you know where it is?"
"Why would you want to read such a dismal thing?" Boc rambles, dodging the question.
"Boc!" I cry "does my sister have it."
"Nessarose..."
I give up trying to argue, I race past him, back into my office.

I pick up my phone and dial the number for Munchkin Manor.
Boc watches in alarm as the phone rings.
"Hello, who is this?" The voice doesn't belong to my sister, in fact I'm sure it's my mothers voice.
"Is Elphaba there?" I ask bluntly "I wish to speak with her."
The voice clears their throat, some background noise is heard and then silence.
I roll my eyes at Boc.
"Nessarose is that you?" A new voice calls through the phone, one that I did not wish to speak with.
Albert.
"Yes." I snap "is my sister there or not?"
I'm growing more impatient by the minute.
"Why do you ask?" Albert enquires.
I see Boc wince at this reply.
"For goodness sake!" I bellow down the line "she's my sister and I'd like to talk to her, I should not have to have a reason!"
I slam the phone down, ending the call, Boc rushes over to me and puts a reassuring arm around my shoulders.
I lean an arm on my desk and throw my head into it.

"Why am I so angry all the time?" I cry out, not hoping for an answer "I keep hurting everyone."
Boc places his other arm upon my shoulder too and I cling to him tightly, we embrace tenderly and for a short while I feel at peace with myself.
"Nessarose, I think you should spend some time with your mother." Boc mumbles, gently letting me go.
"I barely know her, what's the point."
Boc sighs exasperatedly and folds his arms.
"She tried to get to know you but you didn't let her in, you never let people in."
He's right, I don't, I never let people into my thoughts.
I'm too scared of disappointing them.
"Neither of us are supposed to be alive!" I cried "it was never in my path to meet her."
"Now that's just ridiculous!" Boc snaps "your sister wouldn't have been born with her gifts if she wasn't supposed to bring you back to life and even despite that, it wasn't your time to die, Madame Morrible decided for you."

I shudder at the memory.
"I'm scared Boc." I whisper under my breath. "Life seemed so straight forward as a child and now I don't know what I'm doing or where I am."
"And that's why I'm here." Boc rushes forwards and holds my hands in his "I want to help you Nessarose. You just have to let me."
I don't speak, I don't try to block his words out, I just listen and absorb everything that he's saying.
But then he says it.
"Because I love you Nessarose."