Chapter Sixty

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JENNIE

I can't handle it anymore, so it's my cue to leave before I act more dramatically than I have already done. "Bye, Lisa." I give her one paper to keep before I leave.

When I am about to hold the doorknob, I hear Lisa says. The pain in her voice. "Is that all?" Then, I turn to look at her painful expression. The first time, she shows emotion since I arrived. The emotion that is not good. It's so bitter to witness the pain I cause to my lover.

"I have nothing more to say. So, maybe we could separate from here. I'll go home and pack my clothes." I force a smile, and I hope it won't come off like a frown and a scowl that is the result of the anger I have for myself.

She sits up, straightly and stares at me with an intense gaze. She looks like she is more frustrated than angry, but she says nothing. We look at each other for a moment before I break the silence. "So, if you have nothing more, I think I am going to leave now." Before I cry in front of you and kneel in front of you to beg your mercy and your love back. And, of course, I haven't said any of that.

She sighs, heavily. "Jennie, you are still a coward. Are you sure you don't have anything more to say?" Her eyes tell me that she wants me to say something, something that I don't know if I have the right to ask anymore. I came here to ask for forgiveness, and maybe we could fix what is broken between us and live together for the rest of our lives. I, being a good wife, will trust her and reciprocate her love.

My wish is destroyed the time I saw her in the bed with pain because of me. What can I do besides give her what she wants?

"Like I said, I am sorry. I haven't had anything else to talk about." I lie.

She narrows her eyes, angrily. "Tsk. Can't believe it. You are still stubborn."

"Goodbye, Lisa." When she doesn't reply, I turn my heels and about to walk out, but the beating sound of the oxygen machine next to her bed makes me terrified as I whip back to see Lisa snatches her oxygen mask out of her face like that is the easiest thing she does. I quickly rush towards her as I try my best not to black out before she does. "Lisa! Are you crazy?"

Great, Jennie.

Your former wife is about to die, and that's the question you have for her?

"Lisa, I am calling the doctor." This time, I weep. I shout 'doctor' every few seconds, but it seems like no one hears me. Not to mention, the door is still locked. I figure I would run to call them, but Lisa clutches my shirt tightly, afraid that I would escape or something. She doesn't seem to care about her life, and I am here, praying to God that he would keep this idiot's life and don't take her away from this world... from me when she looks as carefree as ever.

I brush her fingers off, but she only grips it more tightly. Even if she was so injured, she is still much stronger than me. What should I do now? "Lisa, do you want to die? I am going to call the doctor for you, stupid!"

"Yeah." She answers shortly. "I want to die." Her sentence makes me stay still, glaring at her like she is the scariest thing in the world. Maybe, I have got too shocked to hear her saying that, or I might get angry to the point where I want to hit her hard right now.

I blink a few times, vigorously wiping my stupid tears away. It's still falling no matter how many times I brush it away.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid tears.

"Let me die because even if I die, no one is going to care. You don't want me anymore." She places my hand on her heart. Her expression is much calmer. "You own it. If you go, it's meaningless to stay."

"Who says I don't want you anymore?" I literally shout at her face as she widens her eyes. "You still want me? Why didn't you say so?"

"I don't want you to suffer anymore because of me. Actually, I came here to ask for forgiveness, and I also want to ask for a chance to love you without anything between us like my past anymore, but the moment I saw you, I couldn't control my emotion and maybe, you need the freedom to get new happiness." I explain to her. I can't continue to lie because she might die soon if I can't persuade her to put the mask back.

"So, you still want me? You still...love me?" She asks, hopefully. I can't help but flinging myself into her embrace. "Lisa Manoban, I have always been in love with you. I never stop loving you no matter what happens." She hugs me back, tightening her grip on mine. "That's the only thing I want to hear when you entered this room. Not this bullshit!" She pulls back, pointing at the paper.

"As I was saying-"

"You worry about the pain you cause me. Have you ever thought about the pain you had created when you left me? I'd rather die if you are not with me. I don't want anyone else." She seems to take her breath shortly but asking me before I could be more worried. "If there is a chance, where we can be married again, will you do that with me?"

"Lisa-"

"I need your answer now before I-I die."

I shake my head. "You won't die."

Suddenly, she closes her eyes. Her hand clutches my shirt, and I shake her face a few times before finally agreeing, "I will, Lisa. Give me a chance, and I will marry you again. I will marry you and only you because I love you, Lisa Manoban. Do you hear me? Wake up!" I wail, not caring if the room is soundproof or not.

My heart stops beating the moment I see Lisa closing her eyes. 

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