Sick little games

Chapter 48

"JJ?" I feel Spencer climb into bed behind me and his arm snakes around my waist. "I can't sleep." He continues to whisper and my eyes open to the pitch black bedroom. I'm not going to say anything to him, I'll just let him think I'm still asleep.

He pulls me toward his body and nestles his head in my hair. "I'm sorry." he whispers again and I still don't say anything. He can't keep treating me like this, I need to stand my ground for once.

"I'm sorry for ruining your day again. I just- I'm just finding things hard, I liked Maeve... I really liked Maeve but after her I met you and then I knew what it meant to need someone. I- I knew what it meant to be whole. You complete me Jennifer, but then I thought... What if you don't complete the person that completes you? I'm not a good person jayje, when I was 18 I-"

I stir slightly hoping it will stop him from revealing his past while I'm supposed to be sleeping. I want him to tell me while I'm awake, I want him to know he can trust the conscious me.

He moves my hair to my back and he pulls me even closer than before kissing my shoulder and whispering I love you.

***

Spencer's POV:

I wake before JJ who is curled in a ball beside me. Maybe she'll have forgiven me now? She didn't kick me out of the bed last night.

I climb out from under the duvet and place it neatly back over her shoulders. It's extremely cold this morning so i turn up the thermostat before undressing from the bloody clothes I was wearing yesterday.

The hot water eases my tense muscles and I stand still for a few minutes letting it run down my body. I wet my hair and step out of the stream, leaning against the cold tiles.

My body is covered in large bruises, an especially painful one on the back of my ribs. My knuckles are still sore and they haven't scanned over yet, so when the hot water makes contact I wince in pain.

I can't tell JJ where I was, if I do she might hate me. I stood and watched a guy have the crap beaten out of him and all because I owe a drug dealer money for the apartment I bought us. All because I wanted to make sure next time we argued, JJ would have no choice but to forgive me. I slowly wash my hair and body, trying hard not to get too much soap in my cuts.

I climb out of the shower and rub my hair slightly with a towel before wrapping it around my body, hoping that when I'm done JJ will be awake.

She's not. I head to the wardrobe with nothing but a towel wrapped around my body, then pull out my plaid pyjama pants and a white tank top.

Taking advantage of the fact JJ is still asleep I pull on my coat and head out to my car that Damien dropped of along with a few things from our old apartment.

I head to a coffee shop first. This new place is about twenty minutes from the one JJ and I like so much so I stop at a cafe instead.

When I head inside, Hotch is sat at a table with Haley and their little boy jack. I order the usual and take a seat at their table while waiting for it to be done.

"Hi Spencer! how are you?" Haley speaks to me first and I find myself regretting sitting here already. "uh, fine."

"That's good." she smiles and my eyes meet Aaron's.

"Jack?" I ask, and he nods. "Cute." his brows furrow slightly and I laugh. Everything is so awkward right now, last time I saw Hotch, JJ hadn't made such an impact on me. Now, I'm different... slightly.

"You're in pyjamas?" he asks, scanning my body slightly and I realise I was only meant to be nipping out.

"Oh- uh, yeah... I can't be arsed with loads of washing." I shrug and he laughs, but Haley is giving me the death glare.