The Pollyannaish-Jabez

Issue 176! "The Pollyannaish Jabez!"

{UK} 

--6:30am--

'Aah'm still a little bewildered from God borrowing my body.' Jabez ran along the walls of buildings, the effluvium dwelling on certain areas were easy to ignore. Normal people usually wanted to avoid these areas because of it being too overwhelming for their senses. He paused before a pentagram flickering like a sign across an alleyway.  It hung across the side, it's enigmatic appearance drew the hero's attention."Aah oughta think about what aah'm about to burst through." He leaped towards the pentagram, fingers clung at the lower hinges as he hurtled over to the right side into the alleyway. 

"Aah feel bad omens..." Jabez clung on the walls, scaling towards the door beyond him. The door opened by itself without someone to do it. The voices of condemned spirits were heard from there, he wasn't afraid of such trivial things. 'This cult thing isn't going to stop me!' Jabez flips on the concrete floor, he walked towards the gaping door. As he entered the building, it warped and changes around him. It's like an office, there was a blonde sitting on a chair dutifully. A blue office table, a tumbler containing pens and pencils, there were portraits of aesthetic art hanging around. A calendar marking the exact date, a clock hanging in the centre of the room. The walls were painted blood-red crimson. 

"I take it that my co-workers have informed you?" Victoria sits crosswise, gesturing to an unoccupied chair. He sits on it, turning the chair to face forward her. "Yeah, they did." He nodded his head. "Well, you do not need a prerequisite to be hired, because you're already an employee," Victoria says to the other. That galvanized the albino easily, she chuckled at his expression. "Thank you so much!" Jabez says after they shook hands. "Don't sweat it, it's what I do." She nodded in response. 

'That fool is too gullible! My servants were right, he's yearned for a job so long that it would blind him!' Victoria thought maliciously. "I just moved in recently, by next week. You should be able to help," She says as the albino made a smile and walked away from the other. Heading towards the exit, while our hero had turned away from the blonde. 'He doesn't notice a thing, that's what I want.' Eventually, her entire office changed into a dungeon-like setting, two cloaked figures stood beside her throne of gold. 

Jabez was out in the city. 'Why were my instincts sayin' otherwise? Nothin' violent befallen!' He swings himself past hung clothes, he felt something supernatural again. 'What?! It's been forever since aah ever felt an aura like that!' He clung to a building, turning his head to left and right. There was a being standing above Jabez, on the ledge. 

"Up here," A familiar voice says as they grabbed Jabez by the neck. "Buckaroo!" It's unveiling at Jape, hurtling him overhead. Although our hero negated his inertia, profoundly making it seem like he stood still in midair. "This ain't yo city anymore, vigilante! How's it feel to be an outsider like us, huh?! Tempt ya enough to be a supervillain?" Jape nitpicks on the albino. 

"Don't think aah'd stoop to your level," Jabez warped into a twisting arrow in a spiraling motion. As it enveloped Jape, a huge ball like object struck him right off the bat. "Fighting me physically? Didja forget that aah'm the gag vill--" After a few moments, he felt a sharp pain on his shoulder. "HuHAHAHA! Izz about time the funlord hops in!" Jabez's tone sounded like a hillbilly out of a cartoon. 

A wall and foot appeared around Jape, Jape was repeatedly kicked to the wall by the immense foot. "You're noxious!" Jape commented. Again and again, the twisty line around him vanished as he was sent flying upwards to a building. 'What on earth is happening?! It's like vice versa happening! Had he perhaps grown tired of mercy and wants to finish me off?!' Jape felt real power, its like he could just wipe him out of existence if he wanted to. He burst thru the building and thudded into an air blimp. 

Although he performed athleticism to prevent any more destruction from happening. 'Huh? That feller's gone already?! Does he think he's too good for me?!' Jape concentrated his vision on the streets, buildings, cars. There wasn't a trace of Jabez, that's until he heard a truly unfathomable screech into his ear. He was stunned and unable to fight back, Jabez stood behind the other as he positions himself like he was going to use the toilet. 

He farted on Jape and winked at the audience. He bounced off to a different direction, while his facial expressions were ludicrous. "Tessa! Aah knows yuire around 'ere! You caint ged away from me!" Jabez called out and inexplicitly jumped to over many comic panels containing colors. He found the exact place where Tessa was hiding at, she was sipping her cup of coffee just at that time and took a spittake. Its taking place in her apartment, a crappy type. 

"Hey! How on earth did you just skip parts of the comic?! Do you have any idea how long it takes to draw that?!" Tessa stated while Jabez flexed his fingers, pressing them low enough to touch his own skin. "Yuir really circuitous, Tessa." Jabez snapped his fingers as the rest of the villains appeared inside the room."You're insane to think you could beat us all at once!" Tessa says as she was backed up by the supervillains. 

A few southerner moments later. 

The villains were knocked down unconscious while Jabez remained unscathed. 'How could I have failed?! How did everyone fail to beat him!?!' Omit thought, the only one to remain conscious over everyone else. 

"That wuzn't plot armor chumps, its just aah can do anything as long as its funny!" Jabez explained it to Omit as he turned away. As he left, the police car sirens flared in the atmosphere, she carried herself to the window. 'Call it what you will... our vengeance won't stop!' Omit marked revenge on the superhero out in the broad daylight.