The Pollyannaish-Jabez

Issue 3# "The Jape"

{Los Angeles} 

It's set in a theme park, where the action begins!

"Dude, chillax, these people are living and breathing entities." Jabez had been fortifying these terror-stricken folks, from this figure. "Nobody got hurt, snowflake! Just someone was caught in a crossfire!" Jape responded to the zany figurine's attire and outfit was quite otherworldly. "Hurling babies around isn't funny, ya creep!" Says a person, as Jape turned his head to the source of the sound. "Hows about you wanna hear my joke about power, buddy?" Jape grinned oddly that it virtually can make his smile look cartoony, as Jabez shoots arteries and veins to prevent him from doing anything 'funny'. 

" 'Zat so?" Jabez stood in the distance, hoping he might able to hold him down. "Wise guy, eh? You can't really hurt me, but I can HURT ya!" Jape turned his wacky face inwards Jabez, inexplicably his vines are being drawn forth Jape's direction. "KABLAM!" Jape sends a blow so mighty its considered fathomless, Jabez hadn't realized. 'I'm fighting a gag villain? No wonder!' Jabez quickly regained his ground once more, he had to understand his foe more. 

"Aw, the jokes not funny? Maybe I should give you the HAND bro-ther!" Jape's hand increased in size, so big that it makes the planet look like a marble. Jabez arose his hands skywards at the palm, this guy is full of many tricks, never in his hero career faced such a being. "Waitaminnit! Gag, I gotta hit him in a funny way!" Jabez grasped realization, this was the one way to beat him, and Jabez was doing this to protect the people. "Hey, kiddies! You like comedy, right??" Jabez turned his head to them, while his arms were trembling, Jape's strength is something I'm being overwhelmed by. 

"Okay! You want something funny, I'll give it to ya! What d'ya say?" Jabez forced the palm upwards, through sheer will causing Jape to slightly wobble in his steps. "Funny? Really, aren't you the nicest person!" Jape commented. "Liar, Liar, pants on-" Jabez was able to get around him, his palms engulf in flames as he threw fireballs into his pants. "FIRE!" Jabez watched him actually screaming that his own pants. "Hur--" Jape had finally gotten the fire to dissipate, Jabez had heaved his pants downwards. 

Revealing his pants. "Right in the scrotum!" Jabez sends a high upward kick in the center of his being, it induces laughter. "UMMFF!" Whatever the heck I'm doing, its actually working,  and this was the greatest way to win. "You oughta think twice before picking a bone with JAPE!" Jape stikes Jabez with his compact bone, as he began laughing at his own joke. "Get it?? Because I hit you with my bo-- ACK!" Jape began gloating at his own opponent, Jabez clapped his chin and skull together, making him bite his own tongue. 

"Heh, you're actwally gwoof at dis." Jape's words were difficult understanding, its like hieroglyphics became someone elses' words. "My abwalute invugnearbility aign't hwelping me! Hoo've figgered mhe out!" Who knew Jabez's capabilities in fighting can actually be funny. "Ihgt abwat hime I twook contwoll of dis batwell!" Jape had suddenly began warping the whole scenery around them, the zany figure had stood atop Jabez's body. 

A flagpole pierced through his chest. "I claim victory! LIKE A CHAMP!" Jape was capable of doing such things until Jabez arises from his spot. Its like everywhere they were praising him, Jabez had poked his pupils and everything began reverting back to how it should be. "YEOOW!" The eye poking is usually a traditionally funny attack. "I'm about to show you my weird attack!" Jape gets into a quirky fighting stance, its unrecognizable due to it via weirdness. 

"I think you've just pegged yourself, dude." Jabez scratched the back of his head, what was he trying to do. "WEIRD DAMAGE!" At first, it was like after images surrounding him, until Jabez's being was attacked in the oddest places, contrary to a traditional martial art. "Weird powers!" He's attacking me all around, heck, it's becoming implausible to hit him.