*Alyssa's POV*
I kept tossing this way and that, but I couldn't sleep. I wish Corbin would come back already. His bed was way too big for only one person to sleep in. I don't know how he does it, honestly, because he told me he's not one to sleep around so he's had this big old bed to himself for a while now. I looked over at the alarm clock sitting on the dresser and saw that it was almost two in the morning. Thank God that tomorrow is Sunday and I don't have to work.
I didn't think he would be out this late when he said that he was going to a party. He didn't even seem like he wanted me to come. It's not like I haven't been to one of Zayn's parties before. Yeah, sure, maybe it ended with Niall beating up two people and then me almost getting raped, but I survived didn't I?
I jumped when I heard a door slam shut and I sat up pulling the soft crème colored comforter all the way up to my chin. Corbin stumbled into the room a few seconds later, whispering a few choice words under his breath as he tripped over his own two feet.
He was drunk. Again.
Great.
He reached over and flicked on the light, blinding me in the process. I closed my eyes and heard him give a throaty laugh. "Whoops." He slurred before turning the light back off. I reopened my eyes and watched him as he crossed the room and tore his shirt from his body, his tight black pants quickly following after. He turned to face me and I gasped.
"Corbin! What happened to you!" I squealed walking on my knees to the end of the bed where he was standing in his black boxers. There was just enough moonlight shining into the room and hitting his face for me to tell that he had a bruised jaw, again, and dried blood under his nose.
He shrugged as I took his face into my hands to observe his injuries. "Jus got inna fight, I guess." His eyes wouldn't even focus on me and would just casual wander to my chest. I groaned and got off of the bed before pulling him along with me to the kitchen.
I found a washcloth and wet it before wiping the red marks under his nose and seeing them disappear in only a couple swipes, now staining the washrag in my hand. When I was sure it was all cleaned up, I ran to the bathroom and threw the bloody rag in the hamper before running back out to the kitchen relieved to find that he was still standing in the exact same spot I left him in. Maybe he'll behave this time. I walked to the freezer and got a few ice cubes before wrapping them in a towel to reduce the chilly temperatures that the frozen water blocks had on skin. I turned around and was both relieved and surprised to find his eyes on mine, for once. I still couldn't help but groan as I saw how red and bloodshot they were and I quickly pressed the towel filled with ice to the ever-purpling mark on his jaw. He didn't even flinch against it.
"I'm fine, I promise." He said grabbing my hands and taking the cloth from me. He placed it in the sink and looked at me with dark eyes. No. I take it back. I don't think he will behave this time and he'll probably end up like the last time he was drunk. He stepped to me and I took a step back. His long arms reached for me and forcefully grabbed my hips bringing me to him. I placed my hands up for a defense, but they ended up just becoming sandwiched between our bodies. He dipped his head down to kiss me, and I ended up kissing back. I tried resisting the kiss last time and it just ended with a fight and him walking out the door again to consume more alcohol even though he was already well over the legal limit.
He moved his hands to just under my bum and motioned for me to wrap my legs around his waist. I complied and then wrapped my arms around his neck as he started to walk back to the bedroom. He kept his lips glues to mine as he rested me in the middle of the bed and just held himself up over me.
"I knew you'd wait up for me." He whispered against my lips. "You wanted some tonight, didn't you?" He smirked, but I didn't respond. He was wrong, actually, but after only seeing him drunk a total of three times, I already knew not to tell him he was wrong. I wasn't even looking for him to come home and have his way with me, I just couldn't sleep.
His hands found the hem of my sweats and he attempted to push them down my legs, but my hands found his, stopping his intentions. "Corbin, stop." I think he was the one that wanted some tonight.
"Why?"
"Because we can't. You're drunk." That wasn't the only reason, but it was a good reason to use at the moment as a good excuse.
"So?" He scoffed reconnecting our lips. "We can and we should. I want to. I want you."
I shook with nerves as he said that. I didn't want this. Maybe someday, but not yet, anyways. It took me a minute to finally figure it out, but once I did, I was surprised I didn't notice before. "Why do your lips taste like cherry?" I questioned.
"Mm." He said against my lips. "Must have been from one of the drinks I had at the party." He laughed before going back down to me. I thought he told me he didn't drink fruity drinks and he only drank "manly stuff"?
He tried to pull at my pants once more, but I groaned and pushed his hands back. "Seriously, Corbin. Knock it off. It's not happening tonight." I stood my ground and he pulled away staring at me with fury in his brown eyes. There are some things I will let go if he's drunk because I don't want him to get mad, but my virginity is not one of those things.
"Stop fucking rejecting me!" He boomed through the quiet two am atmosphere that was sitting in the house. Here we go again. "I'm your boyfriend and I can have sex with you when and where I want!" Those words actually surprised me, to be honest. He had never said anything like that before. Before it was always him just saying that I was a prune and needed to get some more action so I wouldn't be so "uptight and bitchy all the damn time".
Anger suddenly took the place of all the shock and surprise I had felt seconds earlier. "Excuse me? Just because you're my boyfriend doesn't mean you get to have sex with me within the first fucking week of us even being together. You get to have sex with me when I feel ready and when I want to - or if I ever feel ready and if I ever want to!" I wasn't sure what gave me the courage to yell back at an angry Corbin, but I internally praised and disciplined myself for it.
His breathing was loud and deeply drawn, actually frightening me some. Before I could even comprehend what was happening, I felt a sting against my right cheek and my head was jerked to the side. I gasped and my hand slowly reached up to my cheek and I felt a single tear meet my hand. Did he just hit me?
I looked up at him expecting for him to have wide eyes and start to apologize to me like crazy, but instead, he had a satisfied and cocky smile on his face. "Ready to have sex with me, yet?" I felt a lump in my throat and with strength I wasn't aware I even possessed, I pushed him off of me and stood up from the bed. He grabbed my wrist making me yell out in pain and he pulled me to him. "Well, are you!?" He asked through gritted teeth.
"NO!" I screamed to him, losing some vision behind the water blanketing my eyes. I felt the pain I felt only a few seconds ago come to the same spot on the same cheek. My head jerked to the left from the impact. This was so unlike him. It was the first time he had ever done this. The slap didn't hurt as bad the second time being as my cheek was still partially numb from the first round.
"Wrong fucking answer!" He growled and more cold and wet tears fell down my face, even though I could really only feel it on one side of my face.
"Fucking let me go!" I shouted yanking my arms from his grasp and quickly running from the room. I scurried around the front room until I found my shoes. I slipped them on hopping around like a crazy person paranoid he would come rushing out of the room any second for me.
I finally slipped them on and I ran outside only to be met with rain. Fan-fucking-tastic. I walked to the end of the road and then just stood there for a few seconds. I didn't even fully realize I was crying because I felt so numb on the inside and out. I was numb from the scene that wouldn't stop replaying in my head, I was numb from being scared to death, I was numb from being in shock, and I was numb from the stupid freezing cold rain. I was only in sweats and a tanktop, for Christ's sake.
I looked up at the orange glow from the suburb street lamp as it flickered a few times and made a faint buzzing sound every time it would flicker. It was the only light for what looked like half a mile and I felt too exposed standing in it's light, but I knew that if I started walking and fell into a shadow, I wouldn't feel safe then, either. I looked left, and then right trying to remember how to get back to the hotel being as I would have to walk since cabs didn't run this late. Any other night, I would be walking there and I wouldn't hesitate to try to remember which way to go, but tonight, my thoughts were jumbled together and it would take sleep in order to refocus my mind.
I wanted Niall.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and let out a sob remembering it died shortly after I got off of the phone with my dad. I was fucked. Might as well go back in there and sleep on the couch or in a guest room until morning. Maybe I could sneak out or something since I'm sure he wouldn't be waking up until maybe late afternoon.
As I was about to head back to the house, a black car started to drive slowly next to me until it finally stopped making my eyes widen and my heart rate go up. I took a few steps back not sure if I should run for it or what. Where they going to kidnap me and then rape me? The passenger side window rolled down and I was sure I heard someone say my name over the rain. I looked around me and then realized that, of course it came from inside the car. There's nobody out here and if Corbin would be chasing after me, he would have came out here a while ago. Besides, even if it was Corbin, I still would jump in the car whether a rapist was in it or not.
I leaned down and looked inside the car recognizing the curly head and green eyes staring back at me. It was Niall's friend, Harry. His name was clearly the easiest to remember out of all of his friends. "Harry?" I choked out only talking slightly louder than the rain that was falling a little harder since I first came out.
"Get in, babe." He said leaning over and opening the door a little bit. I felt relief wash over me as I quickly climbed into his car, closing the door after me. I was still shaking from being as numb as I was even as Harry quickly turned the heat on seeing my struggle for warmth. I never really even felt the warm air hit my skin and I checked to see if the vent was even opened, and sure enough, it was. "Here." Harry said holding a blanket out to me from the backseat.
"Thank you." I whispered as I quickly took the fleece and wrapped it around my small frame. He nodded his head and I felt the slight jerk from him taking off down the road. The only sounds were his tires against the wet pavement, the rain against the windshield along with the wipers, and the winding sound of him putting my window back up.
"What were you doing out there?" He asked a few minutes later. I sighed and shook my head not wanting to explain anything. "Okay." He quietly caved stopping at a red light. "So, Niall tried calling you a lot tonight."
My head snapped over to him. "You saw Niall tonight?" I asked raising an eyebrow at him, not sure what made me want to ask that question.
"Yeah. We were both talking at Zayn's party. We had a drink together." He said unintentionally popping a million questions into my head.
"Oh." I tried to ignore the sudden ooze in my stomach that was giving me the urge to hurl. "So he left with someone, then?"
He shook his head sending curls flying everywhere. "No. He ended up getting in another fight tonight and went home looking pissed about something, but he wouldn't tell me what it was or who he got in a fight with. However, I was surprised when he didn't leave with someone. He always has in the past, except these last couple times." He shook his head again.
"Oh." Was all I could muster out for that, but then I remembered what Harry said before that. "Wait. You said Niall tried to call me tonight?"
"Yeah." He nodded his head and looked over at me as I kept looking over at him. "He kept getting pissed when you wouldn't answer. I don't know what he was calling you for, I just know that he needed to talk to you and OH MY GOD! What happened to your cheek?!" His eyes widened as he looked over at me. I wasn't even sure how he could see me, until I saw the street light we were under. Damn florescent bulbs.
I quickly covered my cheek which was on the side facing away from him and I could feel my face turn a bright pink probably camouflaging the marked and tender skin on my cheek. "N-nothing" I cleared my throat looking in front of me again so he couldn't see my cheek anymore. Harry gently grabbed my wrist and I noticeably flinched when he touched my wrist making him pull away with wider eyes.
"Alyssa. Did Corbin... did he hurt you?" His eyes were soft and gentle and I closed my eyes feeling water flooding the brim. I knew that if I opened my eyes, the water would fall. "Alyssa." He gently pushed.
"No." I whispered.
"Don't lie to me I'm not going to tell anyone." His tone was hushed. "Did he?" I opened my eyes and, as I predicted, the water fell over my cheeks. I looked down at my wrist seeing a light bruise sitting there in the perfect shape of Corbin's hand. I sighed and slowly nodded my head ashamed. "Alyssa. You do realize that Niall is going to flip when he finds out, right?"
My eyes reconciled with his. "Please don't tell him. Please." I pleaded as my voice cracked.
"I won't. I promise. However, I cannot promise you that he won't notice himself." His eyes looked sad as he continued to talk.
"I... I just... he was drunk. That's the only reason he would-"
"Being drunk is not an excuse for hurting you, Alyssa." He kept his eyes on me and his tone suddenly turned serious and bitter. "Niall wasn't kidding when he said he didn't want you around him. You're not the only girl that Corbin has been with that this has happened to, you know. Niall was trying to prevent this from happening to you."
"I don't even see why Niall fucking cares so much!" I raised my voice looking over at Harry only causing my tears to fall faster. "Sorry." I sniffed sitting back in the seat some. "Can I just please go back to the hotel, now?"
"Of course." He said with a small smile before taking off again. The light was green, and with as long as we were sitting there, it wouldn't surprise me if it had been green before, turned back to red, and then we caught it on its second time around.
We stayed quiet until Harry pulled up to the hotel and stopped the car. "Thank you." I said with another sniff handing him back his blanket.
He smiled and gently pushed it back to me. "Keep it. You need it more than I do." He smiled making his dimples pop slightly.
I smiled back at him. "Thank you, Harry." I reached for the door handle when Harry's voice stopped me. "He really does care about you." He assured.
I turned my head to look at him. "What?"
"Niall. He cares about you a lot- a lot more than I've seen him care for any other girl. He won't admit it to me, but it's obvious that he does." He continued to smile.
I returned the gesture. "Thanks for the ride, Harry." I leaned across the seat and placed a small kiss on his cheek and then got out. I heard the soft roar of his car pulling away as I entered the hotel.
I plugged my phone into the charger the second that I was in my temporary residence. I waited a minute before I let it buzz to life and I was shocked when I saw all of my notifications. Harry wasn't kidding when he said that Niall had tried to call me a lot tonight.. I had eighteen missed calls from Harry, two missed calls from Corbin, and a text from Steph just asking if I wanted to go get a piercing with her sometime. A piercing actually sounded like a nice idea. I had wanted to get my nose pierced for some time, now, and it might get my mind off of things.
I looked over at the clock and saw that it was almost three in the morning, but I didn't feel weary in the least bit. I made myself comfy under the covers and clicked the television on to see if maybe that would put my to sleep.
*Niall's POV*
I woke up to my phone buzzing on the night stand next to my ear. It was still dark out and, not to mention, my day off. i looked over at the time on the clock and I narrowed my eyes not happy with whoever it was that was trying to contact me at this hour. It was only 3:30 in the morning, for fuck's sake.
I picked my phone up and saw I had a message from Alyssa. I immediately woke up and sat up against the head board viewing her message.
From: Alyssa
Hey. Sry I couldn't answer your calls. Phone died nd I was at Corbins. :/
My jaw tightened at knowing she was with Corbin especially after what he said. I kept telling her and telling her that he was just interested in getting laid, but she didn't believe me which fucking sucks because I knew what I was talking about.
To: Alyssa
Its ok. wat do u mean 'was'? R u not with Corbin rit now?
From: Alyssa
No. I came back.
To: Alyssa
Y?
From: Alyssa
Idk... Can we talk now about wat we were going to talk about earlier?
Instead of responding, I flung myself out of my bed and slid on a pair of gym shorts. If we were going to talk, then it was going to be in person. I also needed to tell her about what Corbin said. I grabbed my room key and made my way to her room. I knocked three times on the door and she opened it looking confused. "Let's talk." Was all I said letting a smile stumble across my face before I walked past her and into her dark room. The only source of light was the television which was on some reality show.
She closed the door and walked back over to me as I sat on her bed. She scooted herself all the way to the head of the bed and I sighed copying her actions. She laid on her side so she had one side of her face in the pillow. "So." She started. "I don't even remember what we were going to talk about."
"The reason why we haven't really talked to each other in a week." I softly smiled trying to make light of the situation.
"I don't even remember why we haven't talked in a week." She whispered shaking her head.
"I think that it had something to with the kiss and then you being with Corbin." I yawned rolling onto my back.
"Yeah. I think that actually was the reason." She giggled. I looked over at her as she just continued to smile down at the bed sheet. I took this time just to really study her face. I never noticed that she has tiny freckles that ran over her nose and light were sprinkled across her cheekbones. Her brown eyes seemed different for some reason. They were missing the sparkle that was usually there. That was the first thing I actually saw the first time I saw her on that plane. Her smile eventually left her small, yet plump, pink lips as they turned flat.
I turned back onto my side and continued to just stare down at her. Something was bothering her. I could tell because her smile was flat, her eyes had no shine - the just looked tired and worn - and she had just grabbed a chunk of hair looking for split ends.
"Alyssa?" I asked after a long pause. She looked up at me as she kept her hair between her index and middle finger. "There's something you should probably know." I spoke slowly not sure how to tell her about what Corbin said and did.
"What is it?" She asked, her eyes instantly lighting up with the sparkle I was starting to miss. She dropped her hair giving me her full attention.
"It's... it's about Corbin."
Her eyes fell dull again and she once more grabbed her hair. I found it funny how it seemed as if even the mention of him seemed to absorb the life out of her. "Oh. Can you actually spare me the story, please?" She asked glancing over her hair at me.
I bit my lips. "Uh... I don't know. This is really important."
She shook her head. "Whatever it is, sorry, but I really don't care. I don't want to talk about Corbin." She looked back to her hair and I exhaled deciding I would let it go for now and tell her later.
"Okay." I whispered. "Did you and Corbin get in a fight? Is that why you left his place?"
She shrugged. "I guess you could call it that- a fight." I watched her as she continued to look through the tips of her hair trying to find any strands that had more than one end. I looked down and I couldn't help but notice her wrist. The TV gave just enough light for me to tell that her wrist should not look like that.
"Uh... Alyssa?" She hummed in response. "What... what happened to your wrist?" I swear, if he fucking hurt her like I knew he would-
"What? Nothing." She answered quickly shoving her wrist under the pillow. I gave her a look telling her I wasn't buying it and shoved my hand under the pillow, as well. My hand grabbed onto hers and I pulled her hand back out, despite her restraints. I'm a little stronger than her, but I would never use my strength against her.
She looked up at me with wide eyes as I observed the marks on her skin in the perfect shape of a hand. I sat up and gently held her wrist up with my hand cradling it. I gently turned her wrist over in my hand closely observing the bruise and immediately knowing what it was. I looked over her wrist at her, but she wasn't meeting my gaze. I looked down at her damaged wrist once more before bringing it to my lips. I closed my eyes and left a small kiss on her wrist and I felt her slightly flinch under my touch.
I opened my eyes and she slowly took her wrist from my grasp staring up at me with wide eyes. "Why did you-"
"He did that to you, didn't he?" I asked pointing towards her wrist.
"It- it's not what you think." She stuttered. Worry suddenly filled her eyes.
"Then what?"
"He... it was an accident and it was completely my fault. I swear, Niall."
"How so?" I quirked an eyebrow at her, not in confusion, but more in a way to go on and to tell her I know what I'm doing and I know I'm right.
"I... we were walking and he was holding my wrist and then I suddenly pulled him while he was still holding my wrist and then my wrist got-"
"You know you said the word 'wrist' three times in one sentence, right?" Yup. She was lying. I knew she was the second she tried to deny that he had hurt her intentionally.
"Sorry, but seriously, it's not like that. He didn't hurt me on purpose. I know he would never do that." Her eyes were pleading for me to believe her and I took in a shaky breath.
"I believe you." I lied through my teeth, just like she did. I decided I would just drop it for now even though I didn't really believe her one bit.
*Alyssa's POV*
"I believe you." He said and I internally sigh. I did not want Niall to find out about it. Besides, Corbin only did it because he was drunk and he didn't know what he was doing.
Niall ended up staying for a while and we just talked while watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Eventually, Niall sat up and stretched. I looked over at the clock seeing it was just after four in the morning.
"I think I should head back." Niall said making my eyes leave the clock and land on him.
"You're leaving?" I think I let too much disappointment show in my voice.
"Yeah. It's already four." My face fell. I really didn't want to be alone tonight. I hadn't been able to sleep all night and I wanted someone to stay with me. "I mean- I mean unless you want me to stay." He said obviously noticing my frown.
"Please?" I sounded pathetic.
"Sure, princess." He smiled climbing under the covers with me but keeping his distance of about half a foot. I reached over and grabbed the remote clicking the television off.
"Goodnight, Ni." I smiled making myself comfy under the covers.
"G'night." He responded not moving a muscle. Part of me was wishing he would have reached for me and cuddled, but he continued to stay in place not moving half an inch from his spot.
Ten minutes later, I found myself still awake and repositioning myself every-so-often. I heard Niall sigh next to me as I changed my position yet again. "Lay on your stomach." He gently commanded.
"What? Why?"
"Just... do it. Please."
I hesitantly rolled over onto my stomach and I felt the bed moving next to me as he repositioned himself. I felt weight on my back and it kind of startled me. I quickly realized he was straddling me just above my butt. "What- what are you doing?"
"Relax, babe." He cooed placing his hands on my shoulders and pressing both thumbs into the top of my back. He rubbed small circles just under and behind my shoulder blade while he kept kneading at the bare skin on my shoulders. I let out a small moan feeling bliss spread throughout my body for the first time since feeling numb earlier while standing in the rain. "I knew you loved my massages." He said lowly into my ear making me shiver, but in a good way. I gave a short hum and moan put together to tell him that he was right.
He continued to work my shoulders until I finally felt myself starting to drift away and into the sleep state I had tried so hard to get to since about midnight.
*Niall's POV*
I kept kneading at her shoulders and on her back until her breathing finally evened out telling me she was asleep. I sighed but continued to massage thinking about what Harry said to me earlier.
"Hate to say it, Ni, but I think you're developing feelings for her." He said. "I'm pretty sure you want her safety more than you want your own. Just admit you're growing feelings for her, Ni. It's no big deal. So you're starting to want something more than a one night stand with her, so what?"
I sighed and kept replaying what he said to me over and over again in my head. I don't have feelings for her. I don't. I cant. I won't ever have feelings for her- or anyone else for that matter. Do I want to keep her safe from anything harmful regardless of the fact that I have to do that, anyways? Yes. Do I wish that she would break up with Corbin? Hell yes. Am I scared that I may never see her again after this is over? ... Yes.
I'm afraid of losing her. I'm afraid of what Corbin can and will do to her if given the chance. I'm afraid of anybody or anything hurting her. I'm afraid that I won't be able to live up to what I said I could and fail. Was I scared of getting thrown back in jail if I don't complete the mission?
No. No I wasn't. I still don't want to go back to jail, but I'm not scared of going back. The only think that I will be concerned about if I got to jail, is who's going to look after her and make sure she's safe. What condition would she be in if I was sent back to jail and what happened that I wasn't there to protect her from? Those would be the only things I would be worried about if I got sent back.
Damn.
I sighed in defeat and listened to her breathing again. It was slow and deeply drawn so she was asleep. "Alyssa?" I quietly called double checking for reassurance. No answer.
What is she doing to me? Why was she making me feel like this? Why? U have never felt this way for another human being in my life. I have never wanted to protect or keep someone for myself so badly- much less at all. Sure, I had high school crushed and relationships, but they were nothing like this. Those were pointless relationships that lasted maybe four months at most, and in those four months, I had never felt the way I do about Alyssa after knowing her for only four weeks. It was five years ago I even had my last relationship. Since then, I've been a Fuck & Go. I don't even remember the names of any of the girls I dated in high school, even though that could also be from all the drugs I've taken.
Also, I just didn't care for them the way that I care for Alyssa. I don't even know why I care for her so much, honestly. I mean, obviously, at first I only cared about her well-being because it affected whether I was in jail or not, but now, I don't even care if I'm in jail. I still want to make sure she's okay regardless of my situation. Something about her and I couldn't stay away if I tried. Maybe it's because I know I can't have her. It's like whenever someone tells you, you can't do something so then you want to do it just because they told you that you couldn't. Was that the only reason I was drawn to her? Because I know I can't have her?
No. That can't be the only reason. There has to be more to it than that.
It was more than her perfect body, more than her beautiful, makeup-less face, more than the fact that I can't have her, and it was more than the fact that I want to show up Corbin more than ever and I would love her him to try and find someone better than Alyssa.
He doesn't deserve her- but then again, neither do I.
I smiled and looked down at her face as she had one side of her face up. Without thinking, I did something I normally never do with girls. I leaned down and gently kissed her right cheek. "I have feelings for you, Alyssa." I whispered against her cheek making her give a short shiver. I smiled as my nose touched her skin loving that she shivered under my touch. I wonder if Corbin can do that to her.
I shook my head doubting he could have that affect on her and kissed her cheek softly again. I rolled off of her body and laid down next to her just staring at her silhouette. Reaching my hand over and tucking a stray chunk of hair behind her ear, I couldn't help but smile. "What are you doing to me?" I asked wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her to me.