*un edited please bear with it*
Jihyo's Point of view :-
As everyone might have guessed no one came to help me with the move in to my new apartment, sure I was upset for a bit but then there isn't much work to be done here anyway so what's the point in asking anyone to come?
I got all my clothes and other things sent over by my manager unnie, and soon after unpacking everything was in place. I still needed some things to call this empty looking place as my home so I called up Sejeong and she agreed to go house shopping with me tomorrow.
Right now after taking a quick shower I am sprawled over the sofa with various packets of snacks spread -or as I would put it 'littered' around the floor and table with my favorite series playing on Netflix connected to my TV.
Ah, this is life.
No disturbances, no worries no thoughts just living in the moment.
Soon after I fell asleep on the couch, to be honest I was a bit scared to go to the room and sleep cause I live alone here and its really big. So instead the sound from the TV and its light gave me a sense of less fear
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The next day I woke up to the sun shining brightly on my face, the curtains were down but it still didn't stop the rays to hit my face and disturb my sleep. It was still early in the morning so I decided to get ready with a shower and eat some bacon and eggs for breakfast. I had limited supply of grocery so I made a mental note to buy some today with Sejeong.
While enjoying a morning cup of coffee out of habit I reached for my phone to look through missed messages.
Manager Unnie : You have 3 hours to get ready and drive to JYPE or I am coming to get you
The message read and it was sent 30 minutes ago so I guess I still have 2 and half hours to spare.
Moving on to the next message it was from the devil who had been in my mind the whole time
Suga Sunbae : Good morning gorgeous! although its not morning for me but whatever.
Suga Sunbae : And its not a good morning for me either, guess why? cause you are not with me :(
A slight smile made its way onto my face and vanished as soon as it came.
I shook my head shaking of any thoughts or feelings I got or was about to get.
Get a hold of yourself women, you can't repeat the same mistake again. It will only hold pain as a result
I frowned and made my way to get changed and ready to leave for the company, hopefully I will get to catch something else to eat there cause due to my work I should have a heavy breakfast if I have to survive for hours without sleep and rest, bacon and eggs won't help cure my fatigue for the whole day
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After reaching the company and helping myself with food from the cafeteria I was now seated in the van. It wouldn't take a genius to guess that their is heavy thick tension and awkwardness in the air.
Lucky for me I am sharing the van today with Mina, Sana and Tzuyu who for my sake didn't bring up anything and let me be.
I didn't want to talk to anyone of what happened, though I want to fix our broken friendship and talk things out I don't think anyone here is interested as most of them are just sparing me a blank glance and nothing else.
I was on my phone browsing the internet and Sana Mina were in a conversation of some Japanese snacks, Tzuyu was busy texting someone and the smile on her face quickly gave away who supposedly was making her grin like that.
Not wanting to disturb the girls I sighed softly and continued being to myself. But a sudden message made me slightly jump in my seat due to surprise
Suga Sunbae : Hey! you are online? how come? shouldn't you be in a schedule or something?
How the heck does he know I am supposed to be in a schedule? We ran late due to Sana taking time to get ready and it delayed the arrival.
My brows were furrowed and I was waiting for him to send another message so it would justify his words before, as expected the thread of three horizontal bubbles came and soon a message was sent
Suga Sunbae : Jigglypuff, what's wrong? even though you saw my message you didn't leave like you always do and are still online? is something wrong?
I pouted, how come he knows me so well!
I don't want to exit cause there's nothing else to do, I wouldn't dare make a conversation with my members who seem a bit too preoccupied and seem oblivious of my whole existence.
Suga Sunbae : Are you with your members? did you guys have a fight?
For a second I snapped my head upwards and looked around frantically to see if he is somewhere near. But then I smacked myself when I realized he had said he is going to USA
I furrowed my eyebrows again when I saw him typing something
Suga Sunbae : How about to try to talk it out? I know you want to mend things too maybe you can be the bigger person?
He's he psychic? how can he read my thoughts so well.
But still I huffed in annoyance and sat still, I don't want to say anything and make things even worse. Maybe they just want to keep me away so I will be away from them. If they really cared they wouldn't have accused me of such bizarre thing right?
Suga Sunbae : I don't know Ji, I just hope you solve it soon. The longer you push it away the harder the pain gets.
And with that last message he went offline.
Something in me told that the last sentence he was meaning something else, or maybe he was indicating to two things at once but the other part of me was sure that I was just thinking too much.
I exited my phone too and started staring out the window, from the reflection I saw Tzuyu lock her phone and keep it aside too. Interesting, thinking we both had to get the chat ended together
Maybe they had practice break and were called back for their schedule.
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After arriving to the destination I was the last to step out. Today we were set to shoot a CF for a makeup brand. Fortunately Mina had also said that she was feeling okay and wanted to start taking up schedules now.
Once I was out I stood frozen in my spot exactly outside the van so I don't have to face the 8 pair of eyes who just looked at me once and looked away, ignoring me.
I felt so lonely that I want to hurl up and cry.
What did I even do?
I was still stood their like a statue when our Manager unnie came to me and asked me to head inside the make up room and try the shooting outfit on.
Immediately an idea popped into my head and I clung onto her arms making her stick with me. We both came inside the room and I tried my best to ignore the silent treatment everyone were giving me.
I stuck with manager unnie the whole time and stroke some conversations so she wouldn't get bored and leave to run errands. Somehow she understood the tension filled atmosphere and how everyone were ignoring me so she ended up staying with me the whole day.
I felt sorry, I shouldn't be holding her back from doing her work but I don't want to be left alone. It hurts a lot to see all the 8 members having fun among themselves and completely forgetting my existence. I already had enough loneliness in me and now even this got added.
Soon after getting my hair done I had to put on the outfit. Unfortunately for me Manager unnie had to leave cause there was something she had to take care of. I was once again left alone when the make up artist moved along to doll up the other members.
Feeling bored I glanced around to see, Nayeon unnie, Jeongyeon and Momo laughing about something. Mina and Chaeyoung were sat on the makeup chair and getting their hair done while occasionally speaking to each other, Sana and Dahyung were.... lets just say they were doing what SaiDa normally do. Tzuyu was once again on her phone
Again, the wave of loneliness hit me like a hard rock. Out of boredom I decided to take photos and post it of Instagram, at least this way ONCE will speak to me.
I decided to take a pic of only my face since I shouldn't disclose the outfit I am wearing, with a fake smile I clicked a selca and posted it. I was still in my bare face but not that I care.
I examined my selca for a bit, no one could tell it was a fake smile, I had a huge grin as if saying I am having the time of my life but in reality I was having the worst time ever. Soon likes and comments came flooding in
" Jihyo you look so pretty! "
" Her bare face is so pretty! "
" God Jihyo! "
" Your smile is so cute! "
" Jihyo's gummy smile makes my day bright! "
That's it, the others were also repetition of the same words, little do they know the story behind my smile which made their day bright. Still I am happy, at least someone's day got brightened.
Some staff called the unnie line (NaJeongMo) for their solo shoot and they left the room happily. I was just sitting there for an hour or so and then everyone of us were called to the set to shoot the group commercial.
The set was bright, light pale peach colored walls decorated with the brand logo which complimented well with the maroon outfits we were wearing.
We were asked to stand in a line, as usual due to JYPE's orders Nayeon unnie was given the center. To her left were Tzuyu and to her right Sana, then to Tzuyu's side was Dahyun, Cheayoung and Me. To Sana's side were Momo, Jeongyeon and Mina.
It didn't go unnoticed by the director the tension filled in between all of us. There was something in the atmosphere which easily gave away to all the staff that TWICE was behaving differently today aside their goofy and fun loving selves.
As I glanced towards everyone to make sure everyone was here and positioned I noticed their expressions and it screamed 'I want to get out of here as soon as possible' and instantly I regretted lifting my head up. No one likes me being here and it was clear or at least it was clear that no one was comfortable with me being here.
Director : " We will be starting, please give us a very bubbly imagine "
He screamed through the mike and we all got ready to give him the fresh and bubbly image he wanted.
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Director : " Cut! Jihyo-ssi please smile a little bit more and Jeongyeon-ssi please relax yourself a bit, everyone please pose as if you are having fun and not being tortured "
The director snapped at us and everyone was left in shock and surprise. The shoot had been going on for an hour or more now but still after numerous camera clicks we still were unable to give the fun image the director was asking for.
Even the staff were shocked, nothing like that had ever happened before. Teudoong were known to be the best girl group of all time in giving the fresh and bubbly image but now everything seemed out of place. Never once our group shoot lasted for more than an hour, we always made sure to wrap it up before time and especially commercials with being fun loving.
Its because of me, as the director said I was ruining the shoot. I want to smile and give him the picture he wants but it seems too hurtful to smile.
I saw our manager oppa talking to him and they were soon in a heated conversation after a few minutes the director nodded and announced into the mike that they will make us shoot the fierce make up look first. Soon we were escorted to the make up room once again, I was sat in the chair where the make-up artist arrived. I felt sorry for her, she had done a very good job in giving me a gullible make up look and it took her a lot of time. Now we had to remove it, change the make up to a bolder look and then come back again for the fresh cute look.
I sincerely apologized to her knowing it was my fault and she just waved me saying its okay. She was kind, if it was anyone else in her place probably would have been cursing me a lot, on a second note she might be doing the same in her mind too.
Jeongyeon : " If only someone had the decency to do their job right we wouldn't have had to go through all this "
She snapped in a very bitter tone and though she was not looing at me it was clear who she was saying it too. I lowered my head, feeling a lot more guiltier. I tried hard to control the feeling of hurt and sadness, I put on a weak smile and motioned the make-up unnie to continue. The last thing I would want would be to get the shoot delayed again.
Soon after we were back on the stage this time with a pink outfit but with the bolder smoky eye make-up. If you look at our make-up you will say we are going for a badass look but if you look at the outfit it would be a cute one.
This was the whole concept to prove that the make-up brand will go well with any outfit. To prove that you don't need a badass outfit to look badass, and a cute outfit to look cute, all you need is the right make up. Hence we wore badass clothes and posed goofily for the cute make-up brands and wore cute clothes and posed badass for the darker shades of make-up
This shoot ended in less than 15 minutes cause one, I didn't mess up. It was a lot easier to look badass in my state, feeling anger at Jeongeyon for accusing me and all the things I had to go through I remembered them and posed a angry or as you would say 'I don't give a damn' look.
The director and photographer both were very satisfied with it. I even got extra compliments but I never smiled genuinely at it. Just a slight smile was what I had offered to their compliments.
We soon hurried away and got our 1st make up look back. It was filled light pink shades bringing out the youthful and fresh beauty of each one of us. It was meant to make us look like cute young girls. We even changed back to our maroon fits which were in no angle "cute"
This time while going up on the stage set I had made a resolution to not mess up. I had already caused enough problems and I didn't want to make more.
I tried my best to have the world's biggest grin on my face, the director had said that my smile would make it look a lot better go I decided to grin at the camera. A gesture of pinching my cheeks, squishing them... I did everything to look cute and the director seemed more than happy
Director : " Cut! good work everyone! and Jihyo-ssi you did very well maybe all you needed was a bit of rest "
He complimented me after a 15 minute shoot and constant click of cameras and I bowed to him in a manner of saying thank you. Soon the maknae line (DaChaeTzu) were called to do their individual shoot. The rest of us made our way back to get the make-up removed.
Next up were me, Sana and Mina. We were supposed to shoot a princess-y type look so we had our make-up done with more caution and with a shade of royal colors.
Jeongyeon : " Devil pretending to be a princess, how cliché "
She commented while eyeing the make up products placed in front of my chair on the table, I didn't know what she quiet meant so I decided to ignore thinking maybe she was saying it to herself or to someone else.
I closed my eyes to let the make-up artist do her job more comfortably and Jeongyeon saw the need to say something again.
Jeongyeon : " You really messed up everything and now giving us the cold shoulders? why? it is fun?! "
She said in a whisper yell, I felt the urge to say something and make it clear whatever she meant but I didn't want to cause a scene not especially in a place where most the people are unfamiliar and chances of getting another nasty rumor is 99%
She kept on saying that its my mistake and I should stop my pretentious act through gritted teeth so only I could hear and no one else. She was close to my ear and whispering it to me evidently angry and I make up artist was for sure giving weird looks.
I sighed as I felt another round of tears forming in my eyes but I tried my best to maintain a stoic face and prevented blinking or opening of my eyes and from even pressing them too much so that people won't see the tears and Jeongyeon will not again say I am faking or another such accusation.
Once she knew I wouldn't be giving any reaction I felt her get away from me. I opened my eyes when I was sure the make-up artist had moved on to the other members who acted as if they never saw me and Jeongyeon.
I fanned my face to dry out the tears, soon we were summoned to the shoot and I tried my best to give the director and the photographer the image they wanted. They seemed satisfied. I hurried out as soon as they said "Cut!"
It was too much to handle so I ran towards a hallway and looked myself in one of the empty rooms, it was very dark and I was glad no one would be disturbing me here so I finally sat down on the floor hugging my knees and let out all the hydration in my body.
I am pathetic I know. Of all the things I could do I choose to just cry and let everything hurt me as if someone ripped my heart out me and started squeezing, turning and twisting it.
If it were a drama people would probably leave it in the first episode and the complaints would all be "Why does the female always cry so much? " . Heck I might even be better than Park Shin Hye's character in the Heirs.
After a solid 30 minutes I heard my phone ring, as assumed it was Manager oppa, he was asking me to head back to the van since we are all leaving. I tried my best to not make it evident that I was crying, I asked his permission to drive to home myself. The problem is that I didn't bring my car but there was no way I was telling him, he would insist me to ride with the people who I don't want to face now.
He agreed and soon I found myself calling a friend of mine to drive me back to my apartment. But for sure before that I went out and walked for a while, found a park and decided to take in some breath. It was very suffocating so maybe the nature can help?
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Back at the apartment now I trying to "get ready" for my "date" with Daniel. Yeah its already evening now. Actually I am not really trying to get ready, since we are not allowed to show our faces in public places and all no whatever make-up I wear it would be covered by a mask and huge bucket hat - of course I might remove it after we get in but by them probably the make-up would be smudged. Also to be honest I really have no interest to please Daniel by dolling myself up.
After wearing a pink tank top and skinny blue ripped jeans I threw on a while hoodie grabbed my hat and mask to ride my Benz towards the Sugar Shake Café.
It was cute one with a big coffee cup as the café 's logo. The inside was as cute as the outside too, filled with pink red walls with cute little coffee cups and a variety of neatly decorated cakes on the counter. Yes, its almost dinner time but hey! its never not the time to crave sweets. I am not a big sweet tooth but I sure enjoy some and right now I can enjoy a lot
I arrived first before Daniel as he had messaged he would be running late, lucky for me I chose a window seat which was at the end. Whenever we would go out he would always pick a seat at the very back to make sure no one would see us and all but I really liked sitting close to a window so this time I was happy since I found one which would be agreeable for both of us.
I was on my phone reading Yoongi oppa's new messages
Suga Sunbae : Hey Jigglypuff! guess who wrote another song?
I smiled, it feels so good that he is sharing his daily work with me. Though I shouldn't a grin made its way onto my face. I moved onto the next message
Suga Sunbae : And can you believe the inspiration? the girl I used to really like! Joon told me I was becoming cheesy XD
My smile fall instantly, My face was replaced with a mixture of emotions, curiosity, frustration and mostly hurt.
The girl he used to really like? is he getting back up with his ex or something?
I furrowed my brows in confusion and starting remembering every girl he ever talked about
The girl from his high school!!!! Yeah it must be her, he would talk a little to a lot about her. And since he is back to his goofy self there must be someone who is making him so happy.
I frowned, why does he have to tell me this? its not like I care okay!! go meet up with her, have a date with her, kiss her, marry her and raise three kids! And Oh! who gave him the right to call me that jigglypuff or something? does he think I am chubby? maybe that's why he calls me that!
I pouted and frowned at the same time, looking down I unzipped the hoodie I was wearing and examined my stomach.
Maybe I should start dieting....
NO! Don't even think about it! why do you have to diet because of him? its not like you want to impress him so shut it down!
Yeah right, why should I compromise my diet to loose weight? I am perfect the way I am and I don't give a damn what he thinks okay!
I was about to wear my hoodie again when I heard footsteps coming towards my way, I snapped my head up to be greeted by a very excited looking Daniel. He came over took a seat removed his face mask and flashed me a huge grin. It was very vibrant and I couldn't help myself but return it with the same energy.
He looked me up and down quickly and I decided to do the same, he was wearing a black leather jacket -which he had now taken off- with simple dark blue T-shirt and some jeans. He looked.... okay? good? I don't know, I am not used to complimenting guys. Oh! maybe handsome can be used? but isn't that for looks? his face is the same as before-
Daniel : " Earth to Jihyo? "
He asked as I saw a pair of hands waving in front of me, it brought me back from my thoughts and I realized I was staring at him too long.
I. AM. EMBARRASSED.
I mumbled a sorry and he let out a chuckle.
Soon a waitress made her way towards us, she was a lady in her late 40s maybe so she really didn't seem to know us and I was relived. She asked for our orders very kindly and welcomingly.
Should I take a avocado smoothie with some cream puffs?
But what if I gained weight ?
I was still contemplating when Daniel had finished ordering and both of them were staring at me.
Screw it! I will eat what I want!
With that I placed my order and was soon greeted by the amused face of Daniel
Daniel : " Is it about earlier? "
He asked with a twinkle in his eyes, an amused expression and my reply was a confused face
Jihyo : " Huh? "
He chuckled, maybe I looked very weird.
Daniel : " When I was entering I saw you were examining your stomach like some doctor, is it that you will gain weight? Don't worry Jihyo you are already perfect and your body is too. Eating what you want won't make you bad, its okay. Your body is just right "
He said with a smile and I blushed feeling embarrassing that he had saw me examining my stomach. Gosh how much more humiliation do I have to experience today?
We then moved on to talk about other things, I learned a lot about him. His favorite color, food and such things. I was surprised that we had a lot of things in common. Even his music playlist was mostly filled with songs I love.
After having a hearty time eating, laughing at his words and funny stories we noticed that it had been already 3 hours since we arrived. Time sure flew well this time. I didn't even realize it was that late until the Café decided to roll down the window curtains making us look at the dark sky.
We stood up and made our way out. He escorted me to my car and once I was sat and it was time to say bye I realized I really had a good time in midst of the hell I had experienced today. I never thought it would be fun to hang out with him, he actually is a very funny person and maybe we can really be good friends despite the circumstances we met at.
Daniel : " Hmmm so maybe we will meet next time? I really had a very good time Jihyo "
He said while resting his arm on the open door window. I smiled at him, should I say something too?
Jihyo : " Thank you for tonight, I really enjoyed it "
I said and gave a very genuine smile which he returned. I motioned him that I will be going now and he took his hands off the window. I pulled away from the parking lot and made a quick ride towards my new apartment.
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Thank you for reading! Hope you guys enjoyed!
My universe is so good!!! also the Feels is approaching! lets get ready for the bop of the century!!
Stay safe, take care
Byie~