Author's point of view :
Its almost 8 : 00 pm, time for Jihyo to go and meet Yoongi in their place. The secret place near the Han River which only she and Yoongi seem to know about. Nayeon might have forgotten that place since it was during Jihyo and her childhood days. Jihyo was not able to sleep or rest the entire day due to the unexpected turn of events. She just laid in her bed the entire day and thought about all the negative things that can happen.
When she realized its time to leave she stood up and collected her things. If it was any other day where she was going to meet Yoongi then she would have started preparing from an hour ago, she would have picked up the best outfit and tried to look her best. The smile on her face would have never stopped from appearing on her face but.... today its a very different day from any other.
While moving towards the main exit door, Tzuyu who was in the kitchen spotted her.
Tzuyu : " Unnie.. "
She called out for Jihyo in the most softest tone not wanting to make Jihyo feel uncomfortable or awkward. Jihyo on hearing her name stopped dead in her tracks and turned around slowly. She didn't make eye contact with Tzuyu and spoke,
Jihyo : " I have to go somewhere.... Tzuyu-ah. Don't worry I will come back soon. "
Tzuyu didn't say anything but just nodded slowly, when Jihyo was about to open the door and leave she said,
Tzuyu : " Unnie. take care. Take your time and be careful. Your safety and health is our priority. "
She said to which Jihyo gave her a swift nod. Since the Han river was just close by Jihyo decided to walk but then when she saw people moving around she changed her mind and started driving her car towards her destination.
To be honest Jihyo is scared on going there, she was hoping to feel relieved once she hears Yoongi's voice but his tone scares her. Its like he is struggling in something and here she is increasing his worries. The fact that he still doesn't know the truth scares her that maybe he is also starting to believe it. She doesn't know what to say when she meets him, from what subject she should start. What if he doesn't believes her? what if he also chooses to ignore her words and think that what the world is made to believe is the truth.
Once she arrived she decided to park the car in a safe place and go search for Yoongi. As she moved ahead she noticed that Yoongi is still not there yet, she decided to sit down and wait for him reasoning that he might be busy. She felt lonely and the fact that a beautiful scenary is in front of her didn't help either. In front of Jihyo the Han River flowed with constant pace, the moon and the stars reflected in the clear water and the dark sky and dark blue water seemed to kiss each other. She just stared at them mindlessly...
Moments later Yoongi arrived, he hurriedly came towards Jihyo but stopped once he saw her forming a small smile on her face.
I just know that Yoongi oppa will come and make everything all right. Just a little bit more Jihyo, after that you can see Yoongi.
It was the thought running in her mind and she was trying to convince herself that everything would be okay hence she had formed a smile of encouragement but on seeing her smile this time Yoongi didn't smile back like he used to... he got a different thought.
She is smiling? how can she? so.... is she happy the way things are now? does she really like Daniel? is this all a joke Jihyo? didn't you know how much I liked you?
He felt hurt once again and this time he despised her smiling face. He hated her smile for the first time in his life, he can't stand to see her smiling and happy when he had literally gone crazy over just the idea of her being forced to date someone. He thought that she would be in need of him right now but no... here she is enjoying the night scene with a smile on her face.
Yoongi : " Jihyo. "
He said in the most coldest voice trying to sound as distant as possible and cover his pained heart. On hearing his voice Jihyo almost broke down but she had promised herself to greet Yoongi with the smile of hers which he loves the most. She turned back and was expecting him to hug her like he always does but this time she just froze in her spot on seeing a whole different Yoongi.
Jihyo : " Oppa I- "
She started off thinking that its not good to drag the truth for too long but she was cut off when Yoongi moved from his spot and brushed past her, now she was facing the back of a Yoongi who was sitting near the river's bank. She is finding this attitude of him very odd. He never cuts her off no matter what nonsense she is speaking.... he never stopped her. She hesitantly went and sat beside him, it was very confusing and awkward for her but Yoongi didn't seem to care.
Both of them fell into silence, Yoongi was busy trying to supress his hurt and anger feelings and Jihyo was not knowing if its a good time to tell him the truth, she wanted to know if it was a good timing or if he would take the truth in the opposite ways, she gulped first on seeing a hint of anger in Yoongi's eyes and was getting scared. She is feeling very frightened of seeing such state of Yoongi.
Yoongi : " So... how's your boyfriend doing Jihyo. "
He asked all of a sudden causing her to flinch a bit. The way he said the word boyfriend depicts how much he hates it. This was not the start of conversation Jihyo was expecting. His voice is so cold and icy that she is now getting to realize that he really has started believing that whatever is in the news is real.
Jihyo you better speak up now and tell him the truth or else you will loose your chance to let him know about everything.
She warned herself and started to speak,
Jihyo : " Oppa its- "
Yoongi : " Uh huh, don't mind explaining. I was just curious, the way you were smiling when I was still not here explains that you guys are doing good together. Oh and by the way just so you know your boyfriend was also my friend. "
He said in the most distant tone Jihyo had ever heard from him, this solidified Jihyo's assumption that he really is believing the rumors she felt helpless again but instead tried to speak up and tell him the real deal.
Jihyo : " Its not what you think- "
Yoongi : " Yeah I know right, its not at all like I think it is. I thought you didn't even know him but here you have been dating him from.. what 8 months? wow Jihyo you really are something. You made me realise how much I don't know things about you. Didn't you say I am the closest person to you? then how come you didn't tell me any of this? "
Jihyo : " Oppa- "
Yoongi : " No Jihyo, I don't want to listen to anything. I have had enough already. I thought that you shared your every secret with me, you always look for me during hard times and you would wait for me but no, you were with someone else happily. What should I do now Jihyo? "
Yoongi was just jumping into conclusions and expressing how much he is hurt right now and one by one he was blaming everything on Jihyo, he is too heart broken to pause and think for a while. His heart hurts so much that he just wants to put it all out instead of suffering on his own. Jihyo is trying too hard to find a space to squeeze in and tell him to stop and listen to her first but he is not giving her even a single chance. And on top pf that every word of his is adding more wounds on her.
Yoongi : " Didn't you tell you would wait for me Jihyo? how come you didn't keep your promise? this... everything seems like a mockery to me you know that? do you even have an idea of how much I have been hurt Jihyo? didn't you ever realize how much head over heals I was for you? did you never see my sinciarity Jihyo? I thought that you liked me- well forget that even if you didn't then did you never see how much I cared for you and how much I wanted to be with you? every time, every minute, every second I miss you like crazy but you just.... you were just going on dates with someone else!? Did you never see how much I was in love with you? did you never feel it? I thought whenever you were in pain you would think of me first, whenever you were happy you would share it with me first but.... did you just use me? "
Jihyo : " No oppa- "
Yoongi : " No what Jihyo?? do you even realize how much I am hurting right now? no you don't. It feels like I am just a use and throw trash bin to you. It feels like you only used me to share what's in your mind and you never really wanted to know how I feel towards you. Even if you didn't like me back I would have been fine, forget liking me at least I was your friend right? how come you never shared anything like this to me? if you had liked him then you could have told me so, I would have stepped back but all of a sudden from a third party I get to know about this!? am I so far away from you Jihyo? If you had informed me before head then I would have convinced my heart to stop beating crazily for you, would have convinced my brain to stop thinking about you... but I got to know about this now and just like all the normal people in the world. Am I not close enough to you? am I just a mere outsider and a stranger just like your fans and other people in the world? "
Unknown to him his every word is stabbing Jihyo right in the heart, her throat became dry and words seem to have been caught inside her. She thought that Yoongi would be the only one who would understand her but here the latter is not even ready to listen to her. She wants to stop him, drag him, close his mouth and make him listen to her but his voice and tone scares her. Its the first time she has seen Yoongi looking so angry and its the most scariest thing ever. Right now in front of her is not her Yoongi oppa but a very hurt Suga who is expressing the pain he is feeling with his words and actions. She knows that she has hurt him the most but still she is vulnerable and helpless.
Tears started rolling down her cheeks and the poor girl could only weep in silence. She is too afraid to even make a sound worrying that maybe it will agitate his anger even more.
Yoongi : " How many years have I been with you? one? two? no Jihyo. I have been there for you from five years... and he just came into your life this year... just eight months ago. What did you see in him that you started dating him? what does he have that I don't? what do I lack Jihyo? have I ever failed to make you smile? ever failed to make time for you? have I ever hurt you? was I not there for you during hard times? whenever you had problems I was with you and went through it with you thick and thin. No matter what incident you had - happiness, pain, surprise, sadness, illness... I was always with you. Why did you pick him over me? don't I have good looks? am I not famous? am I not having a good character? am I not respectful? am I not rich? I have everything from fame, name to money everything!! why did you not choose me?? "
Jihyo's eyes started to water more and she began to cry more. She is really hating herself right now for causing pain to everyone especially her Yoongi. Yoongi would always help her out, no matter how much busy or tired he is he would always be available for her. Even though she had petty little stories to tell he would listen to her every word carefully. He made her feel her best whenever he was with her. He would treasure her like no one did and would make her feel safe and healthy. The person in front of her deserves nothing but all the happiness in the world yet he is so in pain and hurt state because of her.... only because of her he has to go through all these. She hates herself for giving him the pain and also hates herself for not being able to tell him The Truth. She wants to so badly reveal it to him but he doesn't gives her a chance. Not even a single second.
Suddenly Yoongi seemed to have realized something, he came near Jihyo held her shoulders and shook her swiftly. He gripped both her shoulders and made her face him, as soon as he saw her face his hand tightened on her shoulders and it pained her.
Yoongi : " Is it because of money Jihyo? did you date him for money? you know I have more money than him? almost a 100x more dollars than him then why.... why Jihyo why??? "
He said and left her with a last shake. Jihyo's eyes stopped watering, she is left speechless at what he said. She knows that he is hurt but... but how can he think so lowly of her. How can he say that she is a gold digger, is this what he thinks about her? a money crazy women who can do anything just for money? She felt the worse this time, if her Yoongi oppa who rarely looses his temper and knows her the best thinks like this about her then what about others? how cheap would they think her to be?
You deserved it Park Jihyo. He showed you your real place. That's what people think about you. What kind of a women even are you??
Her mind and conscience mocked her and she just stood their in a frozen state and when reality hit her she started to cry even more but with husky breathes trying hard to not make a sound.
Yeah Jihyo. you deserve it. This is all nothing compared to the pain you have given Suga and the other members. This is nothing compared to the hurt people around you had to face because of you.
Yoongi on the other side though, is finding it all so confusing that he has lost the control over his tongue. He is so hurt that he just wants to pour it all out and show Jihyo how much she has hurt him. Its because of her that he has to endure all this then why should he suffer alone? she deserves to know how much of a mad person she had made him and how much hurt she has given him. He is saying whatever comes to his mind and both his mind and heart are not in a right state to function.
Yoongi : " Jihyo did you never feel anything towards me? how come you didn't notice the way I looked at you, the way I took care of you.... the way I loved you? what do I have to prove my sinceriarity to you Park Jihyo???!!! what do I have to do to make you feel how much I had loved you and how much I hate you right now? "
He said and again held her by her shoulders and shook her roughly. Jihyo was too ashamed of herself to even look into his eyes and on seeing how she didn't even budge and how she sat their in an idle state Yoongi felt the worse. Here he is saying how much the women in front of him ruined him yet there she is sitting as if she is not one bit affected by it. He felt like getting angry on himself, how come he fell madly in love with a women like her who doesn't even care a cent percent? His anger grew and his eyes suddenly burned with anger.
He wanted to give her the same pain she had given to him. Without thinking much he pressed his lips against her... he kissed her roughly. Before thinking of wanting to hurt her he thought that he should make Jihyo aware of the sincerity of love he had towards her. He was being a fool and thought that he still has a chance to prove it and hence he kissed her roughly.
Jihyo was taken aback but her eyes were the only ones to express the shock. She didn't expect him to kiss her and on top of that even his kiss was very rough showing how much he is angered on her.
Both of them wanted to kiss each other, both of them wanted to feel each other's sincerity both of them wanted to let each other know how they felt but.... they didn't want it to be like this. Yoongi is kissing her just to show her that he is better than her choice, just to show her that he is the one who should be beside her and not any other. He is not kissing her out of love or care. Jihyo., if this was any other moment then she would have been the happiest girl in thee world but not today..... a man who called her a gold digger is kissing her and she.... she can't do anything about it, cause her foolish heart still loves him. She feels humiliated by the words he used at her. He made her seem very low and she can't take it.
After few seconds Yoongi stopped, his lips were still pressed against Jihyo's and surprisingly both didn't seem to mind and that made them hate the situation even more. Slowly Yoongi rested his forehead on hers. He is tired.... too tired to do anything. He feels so hallow and hurt that he can't express himself, his heart is aching yet there is no one to let him feel okay. He was crazy for her, loved Jihyo from almost 5 years and just one minute changed everything, its as if he was being a fool for the whole 5 years where as she didn't even have a clue about it.
Jihyo is sad and hurt too, she thought that he would help her sort things out, he would help her in this messy situation, she thought Yoongi would be the one beside her, taking care of her when no one else is. But.... here he made her feel more low and useless. Many people have called her bad, have spitted harsh words on her but..... his words hurt her the most, she didn't expect him to think of her like that and the fact that she liked him maybe added more to her wounds.
A minute passed yet they were in their own world in the same state trying to mend their broken hearts but no matter how you bring all the pieces together the crack would be always there no matter what.
Slowly a drop of water dropped on Jihyo's cheeks..... no it was not hers it belonged to Yoongi's precious eyes which she loved the most, in which she would get lost and would stare for an entire whole day. She slowly opened her eyes to see Yoongi and he looked severely hurt. Just one look on his face made her heart squeeze in pain. There... both of them cried, silently with only tears flowing.
Both of them are hurt to the extent that you can't even imagine it, it feels like their world has been crashed right in front of them and they couldn't do anything about it. They only had each other to lean on but now that very person is hurting them the most.
Almost 15 to 20 minutes passed, both of them cried their hearts out and seemed like Yoongi was the first one to stop. He swiftly stood up from his position, leaving Jihyo all alone on the grass field. He now seemed emotion void as if nothing had happened and he only remembered Jihyo as the women who hurt him and made him his weakest self. As the women who made him look pathetic and helpless.
Yoongi : " You know what? there was a time where I would do anything to just have a glimpse of you. There was a time where I would die to see you. There was a time were your smile could make my day bright, a time when just your name was enough to make me smile, a time where I would not get tired of staring at you face..... there was. But now your smile is the thing I hate the most, I despise you to the core of my heart. I hate everything about you now. Hope you don't make another person like me. "
He said and went off without even looking back to see her reaction without even thinking about how she will be all alone in the dark. He meant everything he said and no matter how much his heart pained while saying it, he wanted to make his words come true. He thinks Jihyo just used him for sharing her worries, he thought he had a chance, he thought she would wait for her and keep her promise but she didn't..... he feels very ashamed of himself for thinking about her every second of the day when she didn't even bother one bit about him.
Jihyo sat there.... silent. His every word made her feel so worse that she started hating herself. She thought that she could take his help, she thought he would understand her the most among anyone, but.... it turned out that he would be the one to hurt her the most. She had come prepare to tell him everything but he didn't give her a chance.
Jihyo, you are the worst person in his eyes now. Whoever stayed beside you has always suffered.... I beg you to keep things this way. Its good to keep him away from you instead of letting him stay beside you and keep him in danger. Let him hate you instead of getting hurt because of you. I beg you to let him hate you.
Her mind and brain said to her and she thought it would be good that way itself
Jihyo : " Letting you hate me will at least keep you away from the hurt you would get from me oppa. I am sorry, really sorry, sorry for hurting you like this. You deserve only happiness oppa and I was a fool to think that I am going to be the source of it. Please.... please forgive me for all the things you had to go through. I promise to be away from you and avoid hurting you. I am sorry. "
She said and let her tears fall, this time she poured her heart out, she meant everything she said and though Yoongi is not able to hear it she will still oblige by it and make sure to stay away from him.
She cried their under the night sky soon... along with her tears the sky too began to water, rain poured heavily and everyone were trying to escape from getting wet because of the unexpected rain. It was as if the sky too was sharing her sadness with her, it was too shedding tears for her. Or maybe it was trying to cover her tears by its own.
She sat there drenching in the rain blaming herself for things she thought she did but which she didn't. She cried her heart out, it was all too much for her to take in. Here she had no choice but to agree to the CFO's offer, she thought she could save Momo but instead she had to fight with her. Now her relationship between her and her members is messed up and awkward. She can't tell anyone of them the real truth and can't even pretend to be happy and okay for a long time. She thought Yoongi would understand her but no.. he too turned his back against her. Today she saw how much he is hurt.... and its all because of her. She thinks she has to stay away from him for his own good but... its difficult for her. She loves him.... but she can't bear to see him hurt especially because of her. The world is too cruel towards her yet she has no one to complain to, she has to endure all this alone without letting anyone have a hint and that's too much for her.
Letting Yoongi go and hate her is the only best option.....
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Thank you for reading. Hope you guys enjoyed.
Actually this part was the main plot in my head when I decided to start this story. I was so excited to write this part but it took me too many chapters to reach here. As much as I was excited I didn't realize I would hate myself for making Jihyo and Yoongi feel sad.
You guys might think the title is lame but I am having a creativity block right now so please bear with it, I might change it afterwards.
I thought since the dialogues are long you guys might find it confusing as to who is speaking so I gave the bold font to the speaker's name.
Also don't hate on Yoongi! try to understand his point of view and how much he is hurt.
Hope I was able to bring out their emotions well....
Byie! take care and stay safe.