Found (BxB)

CHAPTER 10

I sat on the blencher again, burying my face in my hands and trying to control my breathing so I would stop crying. I was feeling a little pathetic for this being the second day in a row that Kaden saw me crying and in despair. But Kaden wasn't the one I felt most embarrassed about. It was the rest of the team. They shouldn't know shit.

I heard Kaden sat down beside me in a safe distance. A part of me wished he just held me again, but I guess he thought I wouldn't want him to touch me in this kind of way. Or he didn't want to touch me in this kind of way anymore. I don't know. I was overthinking again. I hated when I thought too much.

We stayed in silence for at least ten minutes, until I calmed myself and the tears stop rolling down my cheeks. When I stopped crying, I remained silent for a few seconds and staring ahead before saying:

"Sorry" My voice came out husky, and I cleared my throat to make it go back to normal.

"For what?" I saw by the corner of my eyes Kaden looking at me with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

I sighed.

"For breaking down in front of you again. For being a mess. For Jonathan snapping at you. For... everything"

I couldn't help but feel like I was a burden. To him. To my brother. To myself. Kaden and I had just agreed to be friends and he had to help me through two breakdowns in two days, one after the other. No one wants to be friends with someone who is just a mess and keeps bringing you down all the time. I wished I was just normal. And my brother had just recently found out I had a problem. He was only showing he cared about me and all I did was hurt him. I was used to being a burden to myself, but the last two days I brought two more people into my mess and I felt like shit by sinking them with me. I should fall alone.

"You don't have to apologize for going through a bad moment in your life" Kaden said "I didn't mind by Jonathan snapping at me. He is a really good brother who just cares about you. And about you being a mess..." He sighed and let out a humourless laugh "Everyone is a mess. This is what makes us humans, I guess" He shrugged "The point is that people are complicated. And we are no exception"

I nodded slowly, absorbing his words. I agreed with them this time.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" He asked after a few moments of silence.

"I don't know" I replied honestly.

Kaden just nodded, giving me time to think about it and talk, or not to talk.

I never actually talked with anyone about everything that passed in my mind. What I did with Kaden... I didn't tell him anything, he just got it. It was hard for me tell anything to someone. Even if Kaden already knew my deepest secret. The words just kept stuck in my throat. Eight years of silence did this to a person, I guess.

But I was finally having the opportunity to tell someone. To put some weight away from my chest. It could actually be good for me. I could feel better. Kaden might know what to say to me. It seemed like he always did.

"I think Will knows about me" I pushed myself into saying it.

"Did he say that?" His eyebrows shot up.

I shook my head.

"No, but he... insinuated"

"Okay... How?"

My cheeks flushed when I thought about what Will said and that would be very embarrassing if I told Kaden. I couldn't tell him. Well, he kind of already knew I had some sort of feelings for him, but confessing I was smiling like an idiot because of something he did was too much for the little amount of pride I had to take.