Found (BxB)

CHAPTER 41

WARNING: This chapter contains... you know how it is (if you don't, just check my username)

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Brian was leaning against a tree, looking directly at me.

All I could see was that his eyebrows were raised as his hands were in his pockets. I couldn't read his expression. I couldn't notice if he was going to have a reaction similar to Casey or a reaction similar to one that my mother would have.

"Hi, Brian" I tried to speak first as we were both in silence, though my voice cracked at the end of my sentence, showing how nervous I was right now "I thought you had gone to bed"

"I had, but I couldn't sleep, so I decided to go for a walk" He said.

I nodded, waiting for him to say something else, but we were both in silence once again. As the seconds passed, I didn't know if I should be more nervous or more relaxed, because maybe he didn't hear anything. Maybe he just got here. Maybe...

"Hey, I have a question" Brian announced suddenly.

"Hm?" I gulped.

"Does Kadie stand for Kaden?" He asked.

I felt my body paralysed. As if Brian's question was like a rope, tightening itself around me more and more, until I couldn't breathe or move at all. I was stuck. I could have opened my mouth to tell him some lie. To tell him that no, Kadie was a nickname for Kate, a girl I was dating. To tell him anything. But I couldn't move one muscle.

When Casey was questioning me about Kaden, she already showed traces she would be supportive. I was reluctant on confessing everything at first, because of my years and years suffering from internalized homophobia. But I didn't get anywhere as lost as I was right now. Because I didn't know my brother. I was apart from him for too long. And I couldn't read his expression or the tone of his voice.

"I'll take that as a yes" He uttered after a few moments "So you really got some, huh? Hurt your ankle my ass"

Right now. I can lose everything right now.

"Ethan?" He frowned "Are you there?"

"I-" Was all that came out of my mouth; a weak whisper.

"You're really pale" He took his hands out of his pockets and started to walk towards me "Are you going to pass out?"

"N-no" I stuttered "A-are you?" I didn't even know what I was saying anymore.

Brian stopped in front of me, furrowing his brows.

"Why would I?" He asked.

"Y-you look nervous"

"I'm not nervous" His furrow increased "You are"

"I'm n-n-not nervous" I stammered "I'm... I'm..." I didn't finish my sentence.

"Gay?" He raised an eyebrow.

My body started to move again, but only so I could begin to shake. I tried to stop myself from doing it, but it was inevitable. I was shaking, nervous and afraid.

"Jesus Christ, you're freaking out" Brian breathed out.

"I'm-" The words got stuck in my throat as tears started to appear in my eyes "I-" A sob escaped my throat and I gulped in an attempt to stop me from breaking down "D-don't tell anyone, Brian" My sobs and tears were finally released as I struggled to say that sentence.