Your lie (Levi • Reader)

57. Sink

...Quick, hollow steps reverberated through the corridors, with you taking rapid breaths, as if they could alleviate you in any way...

No, no, no!, you repeated in your head constantly.

Through the blurry view of yours, you only distinguished a room and just stormed in without hesitation.

Your feet guided you to the sink of the icy blue bathroom, before you supported yourself with your elbows onto the frigidly white, porcelain-like material.

Cold water washed over your face, with you trying to numb your own senses.
Go away, go away, go away...
You repeated in your head permanently, while spitting out the water, that had gotten inside of your mouth.

Red colour drizzled down the washbasin, meeting the frigid tone, created by the dully light entering through the window on the wall.

Your hands trembled, as you recoiled from the tap with your back toward the wall.
It felt the hard material, while your body slumped to the ground sluggishly.

You collapsed to the floor.

Rapid breathing echoed through the space with the rest of flowing water stuffing the silence.
Reality seemed to melt.

Something contradictory warm made its way down your dazed cheek.
And you knew exactly what it was.

Permanently more followed.
It trickled down.
You guided your hand to your face, fingertips touching the thing you liked the least about yourself.
You were crying.

Flickering, somber light emitted through the source above you.
It played funnily in all shades of blue on the cold tiles, while you stared at them.

'Don't cry, or they'll know your weakness.', father always used to say.
And he was right. He was always right.
Wasn't he?

"Hkk.", you groaned, releasing the air you had held back with the tears coming alongside.

"Asshole!", you cussed.
"Asshole, asshole, asshole!"
Angrily you hit the ground with a hand, trying to compensate the pain stinging your heart.

You pressed your eyelids together in frustration.
Water dripped down your chin, meeting the material of your clothes, which were soaked already.

With clenched teeth, you tried to get away from all the thoughts reaching out for you in arduous attempts to pull you back.

You were crouching under the whitish window and its almost opaque glass.
Frosty blue fell to the damp tiles.
And you hated it. You hated all of it.

You hated Levi.
You hated him for the feelings he gave you.
You hated him for not saying a single word and just letting you stand in the middle of the room, while you were talking your heart out.
You even hated the way his eyes flared the smallest bit at every word of yours.

You hated every part of him to the point you couldn't even talk about.

And you hated him for lying to you.
For making you feel as if he cared at any point. Levi had been the only one, who stood right beside you, after your world crumbled.
Two times.
You didn't know what you would've done, if he hadn't been there.

"Hell.", you cursed.
"Why? Why did you comfort me?", your voice broke.
"Asshole."
More tears trickled down your moist scalp to reach your neck.

"Why did you say...", you whispered.
"That it's okay to cry?"

You felt agony in your chest and an ache, going up to your head. Your body was doing strange things to you.
There was a tingle in your eyes and your lips as well. It felt conflictingly funny, even.