Your lie (Levi • Reader)

50. Let her go

...Tight was the hold onto your blades, as you closed your eyes, trying to sleep.
Without success...

The next day passed like the life of a mayfly.
It was torturing long and brief at the same time, without you having any real concept of time.

While they were gone, you were worried about them.
Mostly about Levi.
You asked yourself, whether he was okay and found yourself thinking about him, when not thinking about Jean, even though you tried not to.
It made you escape the reality you lived in now, because nothing seemed to make any sense.
Where were they going? Why didn't they take you with them?
Why hadn't Levi spoken a single word with you?

And then there was Jean.
What was he planning on doing? How long has he known?
For how long haven't I known...?

Most of the day, you had just laid at this exact spot, left to think about what would happen, if somebody came in again.

In your thoughts you just wished for an explanation. For Jean to march in, sit down beside you, and talk.
Just like when you were kids and both of you gathered in your rooms to talk about nonsense only or play stupid games.
Him to just take you into his arms and embrace you, telling you he didn't mean any of it and everything was just a huge misunderstanding.

How could he have to do something with these criminals?
Pictures of the men's grimacing faces flashed through you mind, making you gasp in fear.
You shuddered.

If Levi hadn't been there that day...

"Ngh", you groaned.
The headache grew stronger, pushing the sides of your head.

Reality was, that Levi had saved you.
Without him, you wouldn't be alive.
You remembered the blaze in his eyes, his anger.
It was the way he had effortlessly kicked and killed them, that made you admire him, but what also scared you to the mark of your bones.
There was a fire in his every movement, even when he swiftly tried to come off from Erwin's strong hold.
And then he had put his coat over your shoulders as always. You hugged your knees tightly, pulling them to the core of your body.
You wished he was here.
So badly.
Because you felt alone.

-

At night, the door was suddenly opened, making you shrug in surprise.
Briskly and quietly you jolted up, pressing your back against the wall deftly, until seeing Levi coming in and dusting himself off at the entrance.

Your eyes shimmered in happiness.
He had finally returned.

The smile on your lips grew even larger and with a soft expression, you almost ran into him.
"Levi...", you whispered, as your eyes shone.

Your steps became slower, when noticing Levi's cold glare. It was unwelcoming, distanced and frigid.
Your smile fell slightly, as he walked past you, tugging his coat tighter on the collar and walking toward the chair to the other side of the room.

You looked back at him, as your already freezing body started blending in with the perishing atmosphere.

Erwin passed you as well, though he gave you a slight smile. Deep down, he felt sorry for you.

Your wide eyes dulled in disappointment, as well as confusion.

After Levi put down his coat onto the chair, he went out of the barrack with Erwin again.

"What are you going to do?"
Panic rose inside of you.
You didn't want to stay here any longer, not alone. Alone with your thoughts.

"Go sleep.", Levi merely said in monotony, closing the door and leaving you behind.