Your lie (Levi • Reader)

51. Reminiscence

..."Dad...?"...

"Pshh.", his soft voice hushed, taking your hand gently.

The only thing you were capable of, was stare at him.
His under the hat hidden look moved to the direction Levi and Erwin had disappeared to and pulled you towards the exit.
You were petrified, not being able to react in any form, just letting yourself be leaded by someone who seemed to be a person you knew.

Quickly, he had guided both of you to a corner behind the store.
You were completely muted.

When both of you had stopped, his familiar eyes shimmered warmly at yours and he smiled softly.
"(Y/N)...", he whispered.
No reaction came from you.

He hesitated.
He knew you were under a shock, after you thought he was dead for half of your life.
His expression mixed with regret and sorrow, as he whispered your name once again.
"(Y/N... I'm so sorry..."

Your by disbelief formed expression indicated the amount of questions that hid inside of you at this very moment.
Quickly you pinched yourself, making sure this was real.
Because it couldn't be real. How should, how could it be possible?
He was dead. He's supposed to be dead, you saw him standing on the side, as the boat in which you had sat with your mum distanced from Shiganshina.
How?

A few moments later, which felt like ages, you started realising. A huge wave of confusion splashed over you like a fresh, but immensely heavy amount of water.
It drowned you, almost making you choke for air.
This isn't a dream.
Where have you lived all the time before?

Slowly, your father started speaking:
"Listen to me. I know you don't understand anything, but please just try and concentrate. All these years, in which I've been away from you and your mother... I did my best to try and make you believe I was deceased. And I know I can't turn back time, so...", he became more silent in the end.
"... know I did it to protect you."

Your eyes widened in something profound.

An anger. Pure one.

Suddenly, you pulled your hand away roughly.
"You...", you croaked.
Confusion fulfilled you, as warmth gathered in your eyes.
"You... left us... intentionally?"

His face saddened.
"I did.", he blankly admitted.

"How.. how could you...?!", you clenched your teeth in anger.

"(Y/N)...", the warmth he spread was so well-known to you, so close, it was the voice you had trusted most in this world.
The sound so overwhelming, that it made all the memories, which turned out to be lies, appear and disappear in your head.
His rough hand brushed over your red cheek.
"I never wanted to leave you."

"Then why did you-!", you disrupted, look pointing to the ground bewildered.
How could he have left you alone? His child, his daughter?
"I thought you were..."
To make you believe he was gone forever. You remembered how your heart had torn at the appearance of every single object he had ever touched. All the nightmares, after which you had woken up, drained in sweat pearls.
The hurt.

"I work for somebody who acts outside of what most of all people even know. An obscure organisation, founded by humans with a specific goal.", he plainly said, as if everything was clear all the sudden.
"Because it was dangerous, I had to go away, vanish for the best of you and your mother. If I had pulled you in with myself-"