My Life My Rules

Chapter 38: A Safe Place

Looking briefly at one another, the couple exchanged a look to discuss this again later. Standing up, Nina was quickly swept away into the living room where Kaila was already playing with more toys Faye carried down from her room.

Sitting down eagerly the girls began to play together. Taking her place between them, Nina smiled as she grabbed the soft toys they were playing with and began interacting with them.

Lain had walked in shortly after with her arms crossed, watching as her wife played with the girls. They were both giggling with the largest smiles. If there was one thing Nina knew how to do best, it was making people smile. At least she thought she was until Lauren refused to speak with her.

Seeing this as her own opportunity Lain left the girls to Nina as she walked upstairs. Unlike Nina who heard Lauren mumbling to herself, those words were now replaced with tears.

Knocking on the girls bedroom door, Lain frowned hearing the little girl crying to herself. "Lauren, it's just me. Can I come in?"

Nothing.

"Lauren, honey please. I just want to talk to you." She tried again. But thankfully she could hear those saddening sniffles getting closer to her bedroom door.

One twist later and Lain saw Lauren standing behind the door with a sea of tears pouring out of her eyes. "Oh baby." Lain opened her arms immediately going in for a hug but the little girl whined as she cried harder running back to her bed.

Pulling the sheet over her head, Lauren stayed hidden as Lain walked in and shut her door behind her.

Sitting at the foot of the girls bed, she placed her hand on what she could feel to be the girls foot. "Lauren can you sit up please so we can talk?" She asked but from the movement of the sheets she knew the girl shook her head.

"Why not?" She got no response other than a simple grunt.

Taking a deep breathe herself, Lain didn't want to sugar coat anything. She wanted to be straight forwards and find out why her little girl was being so distant today. All she had to do was find the right words to say.

"Honey, mama and I know there's something going on inside of that pretty little head of yours." She could hear the girls tears starting to get heavier. "You don't have to tell me what it is now but just know that when you're ready to talk, we'll be here for you. Nina and I will always be around if you need someone to talk to."

As her crying persisted, Lain began to rub her hand against the girls foot from under the sheet, but the second she made any movement the girl curled away hiding into a ball.

It was tearing the women to shreds knowing there was something going on with Lauren but they were powerless to help.

But just when her hope felt like it was gone, Lain thought of an idea. Walking momentarily out of Lauren's room, she rushed to grab something out of her room.

When she returned Lauren was curious as she peaked out seeing she had brought back a journal with her. "You want to know something about me?" She made some progress as Lauren nodded her head.

Taking a seat back at the end of her bed Lain held the journal out towards her. "Whenever I feel mad, or sad, or scared, or even happy I write it all down in a journal. It helps me collect my thoughts while I get all of my emotions out. And if I'm still unsure about sharing what I've been feeling, I take my book and hide it in my room." She paused seeing Lauren shifting in her spot to better hear the woman. "But after I've had my moment to myself, I open my heart to those I care about."

"H-how?" Lauren hiccuped as her tears were slowly coming to a halt.

"It's simple. I take my journal out of its hiding spot, and I find Nina. She's been there for me for a long time. She knows me better than anyone. And so, when I'm ready to pour out my deepest thoughts and emotions about something, I give her my journal and tell her, 'read it and come talk to me when you're done.' And so she does." Lain explained.

"She reads your journal?"

Lain nodded. "Some things are just too hard to talk about. So I write it down instead. And when Nina reads it, it gives her a chance to understand what's going on inside of my head. That way when we talk again afterwards, she already knows what I've been going through. And trust me, she always knows what to say to make me feel better."

Looking out at the book Lauren reached over and took it into her hands. "Now it's up to you whether you use it that way or not." Lain said looking at the book. "Or you can still write in it but never show us. We won't go hunting for it. It's a rule Nina and I have for ourselves."

"She has one too?"

Lain nodded. "We all have one. Even Faye. You're journal is a safe place for you to vent. And to respect that, Nina and I know better than to go hunting for your books so we can read them. The only time we'd read your journal, would be if you came up to us and told us to." She explained.

"T-thank you." The girl said as she held the journal to her chest.

Smiling back proudly Lain stood up. "I'll be downstairs if you need me." She said as she left the room shutting Lauren's door behind her.

Meanwhile, Lauren could hear Lain's footsteps getting further and further away. When she could no longer hear the echoing steps she wiped her tears looking at the leather book in her hands.

Flipping to the first page she saw a spot dedicated for her name. Grabbing the pen attached to the top of the book, she scribbled her name as neatly as she could.

And once her pen started moving, it didn't stop. Following Lain's instructions, the girl began to write out everything her heart was begging to scream out loud. All her pain was being written out between the lines. She had no control when her tears came back. Reminiscing of her pain sent them flooding back down her face.

While Lauren continued writing out everything she needed to say, Lain went downstairs seeing her girls had moved from off the floor and onto the couch.

Underneath a soft blanket, Nina was holding Kaila whilst feeding her a bottle with Faye contently sitting besides her drinking out of her sippy cup.

Taking a seat besides Faye, she grabbed her little girl and sat her in her lap. Loving her mommy's touch, Faye leaned back into her as they enjoyed their movie.

"Everything okay?" Nina whispered over to her wife. When Lain nodded in response the woman smiled as peace washed over her. Holding onto Kaila just slightly tighter she pressed kisses all over the girls head unable to wait for all of their girls to be happy again.

Finally relaxing along with her girls, Nina watched the singing and dancing characters on screen. The four of them enjoying their film while Lauren vented to her journal upstairs.
———————————————————————————
Let me know what you think. Thanks Lexx signing off