May 5, 2014

74.

"Really? So these next 20 something years will be a breeze since you got friends and sleeping wit' the guards, huh?"

She chuckled, "I'm not sleeping with anyone, Chris.  I'm just saying the people that I've encountered with and the nice guards makes this fun."

"Fun?!" I asked with raised eyebrows, this confirms that she has gone nuts!

"Jail isn't supposed to be fun, ma, you're spending the rest of your life here—you won't see the free outside world, your real friends, your own house—nothing, again!" I explained

"I'm just not scared. I know what I did, I know why I did it and what I'd be losing and I knew my actions would have consequences, there's nothing to be scared of."

I nodded, "Your reasoning can't be argued. But, since you seem to have the answer to everything, answer this, why did you do it?"

She chuckled, "What do you mean why? I thought you knew."

"I mean yeah, because she stole from you and then some, but I know there's more to why—like, what drove you to it?"

She shrugged, "She wouldn't stop talking. She...she got under my skin. Started ridiculing me, belittling me for needing her, rubbing it in my face that she took from me and that I wouldn't ever be getting it back. She got to me."

I listened intently, "How'd you do it?" I asked

"You wanna know how I killed her?" She asked, looking me in my eyes

I nodded, "Yeah, what'd you do? Detail for detail."

I don't know why I troubled myself trying to get this information, knowing I'd be mentally scarred later but, it'd eat me up not knowing.

"Bludgeoned to death—hammer to the back of the head. She was kidnapped, brought to my place and I questioned her about what she took from me and when I'd be receiving it and it turned into an argument which was getting us nowhere. I grew impatient and utterly annoyed, and she laughed. She laughed in my face. Even after I repeatedly hit her—she laughed!" She sighed

"As I said, it got to me and I lost it. I left the room to get my item of choice and walked behind the chair she sat in and hit her—twice. She laid and bled for a while, and a while went to 5 days and eventually the police came and that was that...." She stared at the table as she talked, as if she wasn't phased by any of this.

"Chris, I always understood how she got under your skin and made you hate her. Even before she left you and Royalty, I understood. We always had our disagreements and so forth because of how evil she was. She got what she deserved and I hope she went to hell." She said, it was as if she got angry all over again.

It's a shame what greed and material things would do to a person.

"Are you proud about what you did?" I asked, though I didn't expect a 'yeah! I think I deserve a trophy.'

She shrugged, "Not proud. But when I think about it, I understand why and I don't regret it." She said and finally looked at me

I nodded.

I was satisfied with the answers I received and the closure I had. It just doesn't sit right with me how cruel and cold I never knew my mother could be.