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The song kept replaying in my head. It was so cute, I wish he had recorded it previously so I could download it to my phone and listen to it on repeat every day.

I still can't believe that he can sing. I just thought when he got up there he was gonna joke and sing along to a song he doesn't know the words to, I didn't even know the man had vocals sis.

"What you thinking about?" Chris asked as I laid on his chest.

We had just finished having sex, one of my many guilty pleasures that I decided to do.

After we left from the karaoke place, I decided that we should go back to his place, and I of course made the first move since he seemed like he didn't want to. Only because he didn't want it to seem like that's what he did the apology and all of that for— just to come home and have sex.

That's what I wanted to do though, girl I haven't had any for months. I deserve it.

I'm so glad we're back together and in a good spot.

My brain baffled back and forth for weeks about how I was gonna show her how sorry I was. I know that was some shady shit I did to her and I know it was wrong, wrong is an understatement, so I wanted to prove how sorry I was.

I always knew I could sing but she didn't, and I wasn't sure how she'd react to me singing. I feared she'd laugh, make fun of me, anything. No one has ever heard me sing besides my mom so you have to understand why I felt that way.

I thought of the lyrics first. I had to think of the perfect lyrics, then when I had the lyrics I had to create a beat that would match it. The beat wasn't hard to create, I heard an instrumental to someone else's song that inspired the one I created.

When the day came, which was when "Royalty" called her, I didn't know how to configure the song in. I didn't know if I wanted to call her over, make a dinner, sing the song. I didn't know if I wanted to record it and send it to her, or record it, call her over for dinner and then play it, I didn't know.
Then I came up with Karaoke. Everyone sings at Karaoke night, whether they're good or bad so I said that was perfect.

Me getting up there singing was what was hard. Again, no one has ever heard me sing so me getting up the courage to sing in front of all of those people— including for that one specific person was difficult. I forced myself because I'm like, "Nigga, you done got this girl out of the house just to hear everybody else's raggedy ass voices?" And that was what encouraged me to do it.

I'm so happy she liked it, she even encouraged me to begin making music but I don't think that's the route I wanna take. I wanna stack my money in other ways, I don't think singing is a passion for me— it's just a lil talent I have and what not.

"What exactly did you say to your mom and what not?" She asked


I want India back. I miss her. I miss her smell, smile, touch, I just miss her. How do I go about with getting her back?

I gotta think back on what the main issue was to begin with— and it's my mother. She doesn't like India for whatever her reasons are, I need to talk to her first.

She's on her way back with Royalty, I'll just talk to her then.

When they got there I kissed Royalty's forehead and allowed her to go upstairs.

"Ma, can I talk to you?" I asked

"Sure" She said and sat on the couch with a smile on her face.

May 5, 2014Read this story for FREE!