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Chris is out of a job as of right now so he hasn't been calling or texting me telling me he needed me. It's been a full 2 weeks. Usually I drop off and pick up or just pick up Royalty from dance class on specific days but I'm guessing he has it all handled.

Was I wrong for pushing him away from me that night? I just don't want to start nothing and then fuck up all of god knows what with the job and Royalty when it was suppose to had been strictly business anyway.

I've been sitting around mostly. Going to school on my traditional days and coming back home, chilling out.

"You wanna go to target with me?" Lauren said, coming into the room.

"Why do you need to be accompanied to go to target?" I chuckled while looking up from my laptop.

"Give me a reason why you shouldn't." She said and rested one hand on her hip.

I couldn't think of a reason. I sighed and put my laptop aside, walking downstairs with her so I could put my shoes and coat on.

I got in the passenger side as she got in, starting her car. I'm thinking of texting Chris,
maybe I was wrong or something.

'Why haven't you called me over to babysit?' I typed first, then deleted it, 'how is Royalty?' I typed then deleted it again, 'How are you? How is the job search?' And I didn't approve of that message either so I deleted it.

5:42 PM Sent to Chris

I don't wanna seem like I'm making a huge deal out of not getting called over to baby sit because it's not that. If he doesn't have a job, how do I expect to get paid.

I think I'm just overthinking why we're not talking because after I abruptly left that night, I felt bad. I felt bad for what I did and how I did it. Now all of my thoughts of , 'What if's' and 'why's' are going through my head.

Chris : wassup , was just thinking of you. Wyd
5:45 PM

Goin to target with Lauren 😒
5:45 PM

Chris : haha why the face
5:47 PM

Bc she always wants company
5:48 PM

Chris : lol it be like that
5:50 PM

so how's everything goin? How is the job search?
5:50 PM

Chris : yeah I been meaning to talk to you can you come over around 7?
5:52 PM

A knot formed in the pit of my stomach, I hate when someone says that or something around it. If you have something to talk to me about, tell me now because the way my overthinking is set up...

Sure, let you know when I'm omw
5:56 PM

"Who you texting that got you tuning me out?" I heard Lauren say

I looked up and over to her, "No one, mother." I said as she pulled into Target.

She found a parking space and parked. I'm prepared to walk around for a while because she can never come to the store and get what she's originally here for. I don't think anyone can.

We walked around and conversed while she pushed the cart.

It took a matter of 1hr and some change for her to be finished, when usually it takes longer.

She dropped me off at Chris' house and I told her to come pick me up when I tell her I'm ready.

I knocked on his front door then placed my
hands back inside my coat pocket, it was freezing out.

May 5, 2014Read this story for FREE!