Broken Devil

Chapter 20

A/N
Trigger warning ahead**-Self harming.

Lia.

Breaking me out of my slumber was the unmistakable sound of something clashing down.I jumped out of the bed quickly but soon realized the pain in my leg still walking towards the door with a vase in my hand.

Is there a burglar in the room?
But there is Ezron in the living room right?
Oh my god!

I quickly made my way out the door and looked around  the living room.A loud gasp left my mouth at the sight in front of me.If I was scared before then I am terrified at what I am looking right now.

There in front of me is Ezron sitting with his elbows on his knees crouched and a piece of glass in one hand which he is using to cut the skin of his other hand.He takes up the alcohol from the stand and pours it on the wound while hissing which can be heard from while standing here.I didn't realize when a whimper left my mouth while streams of tears rolling out of my eyes and got his attention.

He looked up at me with bloodshot eyes while his whole form shaking.I flinched at the intensity of his glare which I know is not directed at me but at the painful memories.He stared for few minutes but went back to cutting his forearm now slightly while closing his eyes and mumbling something in his breath.

"Oh no no no"I murmured while walking closer to him to get that thing out of his hand.He can't hurt himself like this.Never has anything pained me till now not even those painful days I lived before but this sight.I cautiously took a round because there were glass pieces around the floor.Kneeling in front of him,I could hear him say
"I deserve this"
"This is my punishment"
"I deserve this,I deserve this"
He kept on going with the same words.
Why is he saying this?
What has he done?

I softly but cautiously put my hand on his other arm.Stopping his self torture,he let his head down for few seconds while I watched his blood drip from his arms,resisting the urge to cover it with something as he would snap any minute,I waited for few seconds before speaking up.

"Ezron"I whispered softly.
He looked up me with anguish in his eyes.He was clearly drunk with the way his face held so much emotion or else he wouldn't let his stoic mask fall down easily.

"Its ok"I said gently rubbing his knuckle while subtly trying to take the piece of glass from his hand.As soon as it was out of his hand I threw it away on the side.

He stared into my eyes intensely drowning me into those pool.I controlled my thoughts and stood up.

"Please stay here"I said while trying to walk towards the room.He simply ignored and looked at the other side.Making a quick walk into the room I grabbed the first aid kit and brought it towards him.Sitting in the earlier position.I looked up at him but he was still staring outside the window.Taking his injured hand into mine,I disinfected the wound which caused him to glare at me but I didn't dare look up,still I can feel his gaze on my every move.I blew at his wounds sofly before bandaging.

"Its not okay"The deep voice whispered above me.
I looked up at him confusingly.
"Its not fucking ok"He shouted standing up walking towards the floor to ceiling window and slamming the palm of his hand on it and breathing heavily.I understood he was replying to my earlier statement.

"Why do you hurt yourself?"I said cautiously while standing up with my hands on the arm rest.

"I can't help it"He said almost in audibly  but I heard.

Moving toward where he was I stood behind him and contemplated whether to put my hand on his back or not but didn't do it anyway.

"Let me"As soon as those words slipped my mouth my back was met with the window and his face was inches away from me.The smell of alcohol hit my face,it felt like a deja vu.

"Let you what?"He asked silently in a low voice still glaringly.

I trembled a bit in his gaze with his hands on both the side but somehow manage to form words without stuttering.

"Please let me help you Ezron"I said in a low voice staring in his eyes with my own misty one.

His face hardened and jaw clenched at my words.

"Why don't you fucking get it in your head that I am nothing but a fucking devil, a devil that will snatch your every fucking happiness from you"He said yelling it on my face as I stood still.Breathing heavily he leaned his forehead onto mine.

"I'd rather think about that later."I whispered  smiling while closing my own eyes and feeling the tickle of his hair falling on my forehead.

"How?"He said while still in the moment.

I know what he was asking.Taking his jaw in my hold while rubbing his subtle  mindlessly.

"Please stop self harming and alcohol"I said softly.

Suddenly he took my wrist in his hold which was settled on the jaw and brought me closer gazing into my eyes with hardening glare.

"I will not"He said stubbornly.
"This will ruin you"I said back.
"I have to control this"He said.
"There are other ways"I said determinedly.
"And what the fuck are those?"He said challengingly.

I didn't know what came up to me but I sure as anything won't let him win this.With that thought I hugged him and started babbling all the crap I read in a book.

"When we hug someone, oxytocin is released into our bodies by our pituitary gland, lowering both our heart rates and our cortisol levels.It reduces depression and anxiety.So whenever you feel such you can hug"I said all in one go but soon realized that he has not returned the gestured and still is being standing with stiff muscles.

I was about to withdraw my hands out of embarrassment but then I felt those tingles as he closed his both arms around my waist pulling me closer that I could feel those muscles of his abs twiching through the thin material of his shirt.

After few seconds feeling a bit overwhelmed I put out my hands on his forearms to maintain some distance between us.He stared down at me with a look when suddenly a malicious grin took over his face and my heart thudded.

"Let's see how much you can bear till you give up"He said each and every word slowly while slicing my every hope of him co-operating.I know he is bipolar and wouldn't make things for me any easy.

"Let's see how much you can bear till you will give in."I threw his word back at him.

His face hardened but before he can say anything.I quickly turned around walking towards the door while trying not put the pressure on my injured leg.

"You should sleep on the bed"I said as I had earlier glanced at the couch which was small to fit him with his 6'4 height.

I heard a footsteps behind me and knew he-

And in the second time of the night I was in his arms again as he entered the room and placed me on one side while sleeping on the other.

He definitely does care, a little but for me its like a drop of hope.I sighed as I heard his even breathing.

Its been really a long night.
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-Pihu xoxo