Chapter 31:
(Long after. Now in Episode four)
I look at my hand, fair and full. Still. After all this time. The song just passed that played in the club in Corascaunt. I close my hand, tightly and I bring the glass of my drink to my lips. I sip my sorrows away with the carelessness of drinking. My lips feel dry without Anakin. I haven't kissed anyone since him. Since that fateful night on Mustafar. I'm afraid to kiss anyone, I'm afraid Anakin will happen again. I'm afraid that I might fall in love again. I don't even think I can love. My heart is still his. No matter how much is left of him, it's still his.
I just sit here in the Mos Eisley cantina. Sipping drink after drink, but I can't get drunk. The three dreaded words circle in my mind. I remember that night like it happened just yesterday, but it happened many years ago. Then Obi-Wan's come and wander as well. 'You were the Chosen One,' he said. I still Anakin is the Chosen One, always will. That evil mask doesn't fool me. He's good, I can feel it. I press the ring around my neck, still hidden underneath my clothes. I remember the kiss Anakin and I shared when we had our hidden wedding. I shake my head. I can't be thinking of that I can still feel Anakin in my heart.
A waitress comes over to me with a drink on her tray. "That same gentleman over there has sent you yet another drink," she says, her voice deeper than it should be for a female. I look over my shoulder and see that same smuggler in the corner wink at me. I roll my eyes. I look to the waitress.
"Tell him to knock it off, it's getting annoying," I say. The waitress nods and smiles. She walks off. I never did like being hit on. I sigh and finish off the drink I have. I signal to the bartender for another. I bite my lip. I see that ugly man from the corner of my eye. He's hit on me too. Same line every time. 'I'm a criminal,' he would say. I would always reply with, 'Then I guess I have a reason to call the troopers in, now don't I?' Works every time.
"Hey baby," the man whispers to me. I slowly look over to him. "I'm a criminal."
"Cut it out. You've used that line on me over ten times, none have succeeded. Now, hit on me again, and I'll make sure your face is worse than it is now," I force a smile. I hear the bartender put by drink in front of me. I look back at the glass and I take a sip. I set it down and I let my mind wander. It goes to when I held Leia and Luke for the first time.
Leia lived on Alderaan for most of her life with Organa posing as her father. He took good care of her, from what I've heard, she's a strong and smart young woman. She's beautiful, I don't doubt it. I've heard that she is very good with the blaster. She is leading the rebel group as rumors say. I think that she would be, given my skills. She's smart, leading, skilled, and strong, just how I predicted. I don't doubt that Luke will be a great Jedi, he is most likely to carry on the Jedi trait. I doubt Leia will. It's very uncommon for the daughter to carry on the Jedi trait. I was lucky enough to.
Luke lives with Owen and Peru. They don't pose as his parents, but Luke knows nothing of his parents. He's just clueless. I feel so bad. I used to visit him, when his memory hadn't developed. As soon as he turned three, my visits stopped. I miss him. I miss his laugh when I tickled him. I miss seeing his hazel eyes. I miss that essence of Annie in Luke.
I focus back on Leia. I fight, sometimes. Usually to fend off guys who think no means yes and they think I'm playing hard to get. Only two have ended up in me killing them. Only two out of twenty or so. I've gotten over my fear of killing someone, due to the fact that the Sith now uses human clone troopers. Clones that I watched betray the Jedi. Clones I saw murder my best friend. The one I could spill all of my secrets to, died just like that. She died because of me. Padme died because of me. Padme died because they thought she was me. I can still remember the scene in full detail.
I can see myself reflected off the glass. I still look like I did a long time ago. I still look twenty. My eyes haven't dulled, my skin hasn't wrinkled, my voice hasn't changed, and my hair color is still that dark brown. I don't even remember how old I am. I'm so convinced that I am in fact still and always will be twenty. I don't even remember how old Anakin would be by now. In my head, though, he'll always be twenty-one. As he was, when I last saw him. When I last touched him. When I last kissed him. I try to come back to reality.
I see the bartender look at the entrance of the cantina. I don't move my eyes from my reflection. "Hey, get those droids out of here!" the bartender orders. What idiot brings droids into a cantina? A young man comes next to where I'm sitting. I take another sip, making it half. I look to the young man. Hazel eyes and.... Annie's... lips... Oh goodness. This cannot be Luke. I look back to my half full drink. I take another sip. I must be hallucinating. I look around and I see an old man trying to make a deal with a Wookie. The Wookie that hangs around that smuggler all of the time. The young man asks for a drink, and gets it. The ugly man that always tries to hit on me tugs on the young man's shoulder cloth.
"He doesn't like you," he says about his little friend.
"Well I'm sorry," the young man says. He turns back to his drink and tries to take a sip. The ugly one gets his attention again.
"I don't like you either," he says.
"I'm sorry," the young man replies calmly. I nudge him and he looks at me.
"Don't listen to him. He's just mad I threatened him," I smile. He smiles at me and nods. He has his father's smile.
"We're wanted men! You better watch yourself," the ugly one says.
"I'll be careful," the young man says.
"Oh stop it, you sound like a whiny brat. Leave the kid alone," I stand. The ugly one didn't seem to like what I said. He stands up and preps to hurt the young man. I hear a lightsaber turn on, something I haven't heard in a while. The old man I saw slices that ugly one. No way. The lightsaber shuts off and I stare at the old man. The cantina goes back to being rowdy. This actually happens a lot. Just hardly with a lightsaber. "Obi-Wan?" I ask the man.
"Mara," he smiles. I hug the man like he's a long lost friend. I pull back. The young man looks at us, confusion written all over his face. I put out a hand.
"You must be Luke. He's told me... many things," I smile.
"Luke, Mara is an.. old friend," Obi-Wan says.
