Chapter 54:
(Now in Episode 6)
*I don't care if he's a monster. I don't care if he's the evil Lord Vader. To me, I'm going to remember him as my Annie, and I'll always love him. -- Mara Jubilee-Skywalker*
Luke and I have come to Tatooine, and sent the droids off to look for the palace of Jabba the Hutt. Jabba is a notorious gangster that has sent out many bounty hunters to find Han, in which they succeeded. Luke has hidden a message inside R2, threatening to give Han back.
Luke stopped asking me about my 'story' after I said not now quite a few times. I will tell him when the time is right. I've taught him a bit, straightened up his act. Made him focused and stronger.
Now, I wander the deserted land, dry and flat. I finally have peace and quiet. I drag my feet on the sand, remembering when Anakin and I came here. That was many years ago, when I was eighteen. Young and in love. Those were such happier times. Naboo, Corascaunt, here. All packed with adventure and happiness. Each has a special place in my heart. Naboo, where Anakin and I first kissed and where I fell deeper and deeper in love with him and where I was married. Corascaunt, where I was raised. Here on Tatooine, where I realized I actually did love Anakin. Geonosis, where Anakin and I confessed. Mustafar, where I lost Anakin and where he thought he lost me for good.
I'm never going to lose him. I hope I don't. I stare out and ahead, seeing nothing but more desert. I remember the goodbyes, how he held me.
I feel at home here. This was where Anakin was born. This feels like I was born here too. But I know I wasn't. I swing my arms as a breeze passes me. My hair down and loose. I breathe in the dry air, making it seem like it's perfect. It reminds me of the smoke I smelt of the burning Jedi Temple. The rusty smell of Grevious. The soothing smell of Anakin. The streams of smoke straying in the city winds, caused by the constant zooming of ships.
I look behind me and I see the distance I've wandered from the hideout we have. Another breeze passes by me and I feel my arms sway with it. I lick my lip, still tasting the longing for another kiss from Anakin. I still taste his sweetness and I can still feel his softness. It doesn't go away, and I pray it won't.
I feel my hair fly back slowly and gently. As midday approaches, I notice Leia and Chewy aren't here in the hideout.
"Where are they?" I ask Luke.
"Starting our play. If they don't succeed in bringing back Han, we will go," he replies, focusing on opening a jar using the force.
"That's very smart. By the way, it doesn't work. The jar. I've tried it over a billion times," I smile and walk off. I walk and I pick up a fruit. I walk into my own little room and I begin to play with the fruit with the force. Kind of like that silver ball. I look at the fruit and I have it back in my hand. I bite into the fruit and the familiar taste makes my taste buds ring. This is the same kind of fruit that I had on Naboo. I examine the bite I put. The yellow inside seems similar to the other one. I place the unfinished fruit on the table.
Sunset approaches and I lie here just thinking. Luke and I have gotten further since my confession. All he talks to me for is questions about by past, which I don't answer, and Jedi practice. We haven't had practice in two days. My dreams have been keeping me up all night, letting me not be able to teach correctly.
My dreams are painful memories. When Anakin got his arm sliced off, or when I faked my death. All making me regret my life even more. That's why I take my walks, to remind myself of all the good I've done. All the happiness I encountered.
Night slides it's way and I start to become almost nocturnal. I've become insomniac. I have such trouble falling asleep. I keep yearning for that feeling of safety from Anakin's arm around me, holding me close. I keep wanting that comfort and softness of the bed in Corascaunt.
I can't ever go back to Corascaunt. Two reasons. One, the Empire has taken that place with ease. And two, that's where Padme died and was buried. I just can't even think of going there.
I know that almost three quarters of people from my old life are gone. Only Yoda, whom I never see, and Anakin are left.
