Together (Demi Lovato Adoption)

Chapter Sixty

GRACE'S POV

I sat in the backyard with my legs dangling over the edge of the fence line that I had perched myself on top of, a cigarette balanced between my fingers. It was old habit that I had taken up again, and although I was fully aware that it was bad for me, I also didn't really care. Demi's house looked over Hollywood, the lights never shutting off despite the fact that it was nearly 4am. It seemed nobody slept in this city -- everyone was always doing something.

"You know I hate that." Demi called out to me from the sliding door as she made her way towards me, her too finding a place to sit.

I didn't respond to her statement as I placed the cigarette to my lips, allowing myself to inhale and then exhale the nicotine.

"It's not like you to be up this late," Demi prodded once again, clearly hoping to get a response out of me. "Normally it's Ellie who's up in the middle of the night."

"Couldn't sleep," I said simply, flicking the ash onto the ground with my thumb. "Why are you up? Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"Mania and I have a love-hate relationship."

Silence fell between the two of us as I stared at all of the lights that were dimly illuminating the city. The feeling of the fence poking into me was the only thing keeping my consciousness from floating up into space -- the only thing keeping me grounded.

"Grace, what's the matter? Clearly something's wrong, I'm not stupid."

"Nothing."

"Bullshit."

"Seriously Demi, nothing's wrong. I was having trouble sleeping and wanted a smoke, so I went outside." I tried to keep my temper even, but it was getting harder as each second passed. The pressure building up in my chest made me aware of the irritation I was feeling.

"Fine." She gave up, sighing lightly. "I was going to make myself a snack. Want anything?"

"I want to be left the fuck alone, in case you haven't noticed. Or maybe you just ignored the fact that I clearly don't want to talk." I instantly flinched back at my own words as soon as they escaped my mouth, regretting how unintentionally harsh they had been.

As the fence shook, it became apparent to me that Demi had indeed left me to be alone at last. As I took one last drag of my cigarette, I put it out and decided I should probably go and apologise.

Crawling down off of the fence, I made my way back towards the house where Demi was sitting, staring at the fridge.

"Demi?" I began, standing awkwardly in the doorway. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap."

"I know you didn't mean to. I was in your position once too, Grace." Demi looked over at me with a sad look on her face as she closed the fridge before leaning up against it.

"I don't know why I keep snapping though. I don't want to take out everything on you and Ellie and Sam, you guys have done so much for me already." I frowned. "What do I do?"

"Express it in another form. Use the music room and play some music, write some music. I'll buy you a journal if you want to write out how you're feeling. When you're further into your recovery, the gym is an option too."

"I just don't want to be feeling any of the fucked up shit I've been feeling in the first place." I spat out angrily, only to have Batman jump up on me at the sound of my annoyance.

"It sucks, I know babe. It'll get better though -- it has to." As Demi turned to face me, I leaned up against the doorway, my body barely moving the plaster that normally would shift slightly at the pressure. I picked up Batman who was still jumping on me, holding him in my arms as Demi continued.