Chapter Fourty-Four

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Weeks later ...

" 'Today we all stand by our Queen in the mourning of her late brother Caleb Westbrook who was serving in the rogue wars for the past few months. Reports file in that the Queen has yet to make a statement as it has been weeks since her last appearance with the King on a Saturday afternoon. The castle has kept quiet about their response to such a sudden death and updates will given out to the public as soon as possible. This is Michelle Morningstar with the news today on-' "

I cut the television, turning it off. I still felt blank. There was a knock at the door again. For about the hundredth time. I groaned. He doesn't know when to quit does he? Angrily I walked to the door, opening it.

"What?" I saw it was James. He cringed, sniffing the air.

"God Claire...when was the last time you showered or rather cleaned up at all?" He looked past me at the dark room that was scattered with food and garbage.

I shrugged.

"Doesn't matter" I muttered.

Ever since that dreadful day, James and I have gotten closer. He's been helping me cope I could say.

"No I'm not letting this go anymore. Where is the King? He should be here to help you with this. Not me" again I shrugged.

"I kicked him out" he gently pushed me aside, cringing even more.

He gave me another look.

"Guess that's why there are blankets on the couch...you can't just kick your mate out your majesty" he teased at the name.

I waved him off, rolling my eyes. I went back to the bed, pulling my blanket over me.

"Claire I get it...I do. But this is unhealthy. Did you talk to your family?"

"They left yesterday. I got my time with them" I mumbled, adjusting the blanket to cover me some more.

James only sighed looking around.

"All right. You, go into the shower. Clean up the depression that's radiating off of you. You can keep mourning...that I understand but I am not having you do this to yourself. I'll get someone to clean up this room" I groaned as he snatched the blanket from me. I shivered slightly and crossed my arms.

"Also, I'm getting your mate" my eyes widen.

"James...I'm not talking to him. I refuse"'

"I frankly do not care. Now get up and shower or I will be forced to drag you there. I don't care if you are Queen" I groaned knowing he would.

I got out of the bed, slugging myself to the bathroom.

~

I think I stayed in the shower for a good thirty minutes. When I got out, the room was cleaned to it's former glory. That was fast. It even smelled better. Like Damien's cologne. Wait a minute.

"Hey..." his voice came out soft.

I couldn't tell which personality he was. At this point I don't care. I stayed silent, the memories of Caleb came rushing back all of a sudden. Don't cry. Don't cry Claire.

"James told me your not yourself really...I miss you"

"You miss the image of us. You don't miss me" I said coldly.

I didn't bother seeing his expression as I grabbed my clothes I had laid out from the bed. I turned to go back into the bathroom. I ran into his chest, he used his speed to get in front of me. My eyes narrowed at him as I adjusted my towel.

"God how wrong that statement is. I'm sorry about what I said before. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me" he pleaded with both his words and his eyes.

I can tell he wasn't lying this time. Just the way his eyes had started to water over, made me gulp.

"I-I don't know if I can...my brother is dead. It's your fault"

"No it's not. It's not. Stop thinking that way. He wanted to go Claire. His death was a murder. He was murdered" I looked away from his burning glare.

His hand gently cupped my cheek turning me back to him. Instinctively I leaned into it, missing the tingling sensation.

It became silent. I didn't respond this last statement. He let out a shaking breathe.

"Please Claire. Please forgive me"

"Damien I-" he went down to his knees.

I gasped as he held onto my hand and my other hand continue to grip the towel.

"I can't lose you too. Forgive me. Please forgive me. I'm begging you" my eyes widen. "Please. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" seeing him like this made something snap inside of me.

"It's okay...I forgive you" I made him stand up, cupping his face and wiping his non fallen tears with my thumbs.

"You have to give me space. That's all. But I forgive you..."

"Thank you. I love you so much. I don't know what to do when I don't have you" his hands went up to mine, running his thumbs over my knuckles soothingly.

"The moon goddess knows I've suffered enough not being able to come back to the same bed as you at night. Knowing you were hurt because of me"

"It's okay. You are here now. Everything is going to be okay" I had to lie a little bit.

Just to mask the fact that inside I had a knife drilling into my heart.

"Weeks without you my love is torture. Complete and utter torture" he whispered.

He was being truthful. God this hurts. I backed away from his hold, my hands finding my towel again.

"I need to get dressed..." I mumbled.

He caught it nodding. He just watched me as I started to carefully walk to the bathroom. I shut the door and stared at myself in the mirror. He can't see you now. Now you may cry Claire.

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