A Work In Progress (COMPLETED)

Chapter 1

Standing, looking out over the mountainous terrain, lost in his thoughts of the last thirty six hours, he couldn't help but wonder. Maybe, just maybe life was going to be better like he told him, it sure as hell couldn't be any worse.

"Here, thought you could use a cup" he said, handing the steaming black coffee cup to him.

"Thanks, and uh..thanks for last night" he replied, sipping carefully.

"No thanks needed. I'm here for you, for anything" he assured him.

Both stood silently looking out at the secluded surroundings engrossed in their own thoughts before he finally spoke "what's next".

"Divorce, I guess...I need a bit to try to make sense of all that's happened the past few weeks, months..hell...the past 5 yrs. How could I have been so stupid" he stated.

"You're not stupid by any means" he replied.

"More heartache, another failed romance...it's my fault, I let down my guard...I promised myself never again" he replied, his voice quivering slightly.

"You haven't failed. You're love with Caroline was real, pure. A love like that doesn't come along every day. Some wait years to have what you two had, some never are that lucky" he told him.

"I will never love anyone like I did her, we we're each others firsts" he told him, wiping a tear from his eye. "I'm not even sure how or why I had feelings for Jenika, did I even love her? Lord knows that obviously I wasn't who she really loved "

" I really didn't know, talk about being oblivious. I just thought we were good friends, ya know. She understood, or so I thought.  I swear if I'd known what she was doing..." he trailed off.

"I'm not blaming you, you're just as much a victim. Do you think you and Mina would still be together if she hadn't manipulated both your decisions?" he asked before finishing his coffee.

"I don't think she..." he stopped, looking at him.

"What, couldn't handle you being bi" he asked matter of factly.

Spitting out his last sip of coffee, "how did you know"

"Well, for one I wasn't that drunk last night that I didn't catch what you said..... and Heather told me. But I have to confess, I've suspected it for quite some time" he told him. "Why didn't you tell us, tell me"

Running his hands through his hair he leaned against the porch post. "I wasn't sure how y'all would react, if I'd be accepted. I really wanted to be a part of this group but having the tumor and being bisexual, I guess it just seemed easier to not say anything about either at first" he replied.

Nodding his head in understanding his situation, he explained how no one in the group would look at him any differently. They all had become family, nothing would change how they felt about one another.

"When did you figure it out, how old were you, if you don't mind me asking".

"Not until college I suppose. As a kid I just went to school then came home to work the farm, no real socializing, there was never any time. But once I went off to college, the sports, parties, the groups we all hung out together, it just seemed to evolve. I mean it was always within me somewhere, I just didn't give myself the permission to accept who I really was and growing up in the south didn't make it any easier" he replied.

"What about your mom, your dad. How did they react" he asked.

"Mom? Well, I think she's always known. My dad, I never would let him know anything different about me. I felt I would be disrespecting him in a way. He was a hard working, man's man. Having the migraines as a kid was more than enough to deal with, I sure as hell couldn't tell him later who I truly was. I think I would have broke his heart, I so desperately wanted to please him" he answered, leaning against the railing looking at the ground below.

"Heather? How did she find out?"

He chuckled a bit, "that girl, she has like a sixth sense or something. She always knew, she calls it her 'gay dar'."

He stood there, thinking for a moment, realizing now just how long his friend had been hiding feelings. 

"So, the time we went back to tell your family about the tumor" he said with a raised brow.

"Yeah, when she was busting our asses about being a couple. She knew then, she'd figured it out" he replied.

"So you've been attracted to me for, what six or seven years" he asked, a hint of surprise in his voice.

"To be honest, longer. Since the Sing Off, something about those low notes of yours" he smiled slightly " but it was never my intention to let it be known. I assumed you were straight, and when I had the opportunity to join the group, well I wasn't about to jeopardize the integrity of the group" he explained.

Laughing loudly, "had you not heard the story about the Westboro Baptist Church picketing one of our shows?"

"That sort of kept me from letting y'all know " he replied.

Stepping closer, he put his arm around his friend " makes no difference who you are...male..female..whomever you prefer...what's important is to have and share love in your life"

"No truer words have ever been said, but, will your love ever be mine" he thought to himself.

"Alright, enough of this mushy stuff. We need to get back to the guys and get this tour back on the road" he reminded him.

"Yeah, but there's something I need to do first"

"Okay, what's that"

"Tell my mom, I don't want her finding out about Jenika and I from the media or someone else" he replied.