(Mikey's Center)
I was sitting on my bed, phone in one hand, while I held my pillow tightly in the other. My phone was open on twitter on the DM's, since we all came out as gay and as a poly relationship a lot of hate was sent directly to me and I couldn't help it but to read them. I knew I wasn't really special even when we all got together, I just knew it. It was always Jacklyn or Randy and I knew they love me and I shouldn't let the hate of fans get to me or anything but I couldn't help. The fans where right even here at the house Jack and Brooklyn where always together and Rye and Andy where always together as well, that leaving me alone in my room most of time when we don't record in the studio, made vlogs, made covere, have dinner but for the rest of the time I was in my room.
The comments where like bullets going straight into my heart and skin. I wasn't made to be bulletproof.
A knock on the door snapped me out of my strain of thoughts.
"Mikey? Why is your door locked?" I sighed of course it was Alex, it was either him or Robbie. My boyfriend's didn't even knew I locked my door. I stood up and unlocked the door to reveal Alex frowning. "Why did you lock your door?" I shrugged not feeling the need to answer him "We have to shoot a cover, come on." I nodded and followed Alex down the stairs only to feel my heart break slowly as I saw the other's giving each other small kisses, grinning. I sighed and sat down on the couch doing the parts I needed to be done, luckily Alex knew how their behavior had affected me so he always made sure I was the first one to finish.
I was about to leave the room again until I felt a soft hand wrap itself around my wrist turning me around to face him. Andy's blue eyes where filled with worry as he took in my appearance which I should be shocked about too. I didn't took the effort to do my hair good on a normal basis, slept awful, stayed awake most of the time only when I cried myself to sleep or when I fell down from exhausting I would get sleep, my eyes lost it spark and I got purple/blue bruises underneath my eyes due lack of sleep.
"What's wrong with you Mikey?"
Normally his soft voice would've made me confess anything to him or the boys. But not this time.
I glared at him and shook my arm out of his hand "Leave me alone will you? You all didn't have a problem with it earlier!" I hadn't realized I was talking loudly until everyone one, including the boys. "Mikey is-" I glared at Brooklyn who tried to talk immediately shutting up after the glare I send his way.
"Just leave me alone. I don't want anything to do with either of you four."
I left the room quickly pulling my coat of it hangs and ran outside letting the door slam behind me. As I continued to run along the street going straight to the forest I somehow I found myself lost and alone.
I sat down by a small lake throwing some rocks in it making my reflection disappear and come back. I looked around the place until my eyes focused on a few ducks falling in the water and making loud noises to their mother who sat by the lake looking at her children. I fished my phone out of my pocket's seeing I at least had 40 missed calls, 10 from each boy, 80 messages, 20 from each boy too. I looked at th lock screen of my phone smiling softly at it. It was from a few months ago when we where out on one of the dates Rye and Jack had set up we where all sitting around a fire with marshmallows, drinks, some more snacks. Andy had brought his guitar along singing around the fire with all of us.
The picture was from Andy's point of view as held it up high to fit all five of us into the frame, Jack was pulling faces , Brooklyn was hugging Andy from behind his head on top of Andy's shoulder smiling like a fool, then there was me standing in between Jack and Rye who held an arm around me kissing my cheek lovingly. I can still remember every little detail that happened that night like it was last night, closing my eyes I thought back to that time.
