A Love For Keeps

Patience

I don't know what to do, punch him or hug him, so I settled into looking in his eyes. Flinching at the fierceness in them. "Because I am your brother. What do I don't know about you?"

Qing's eyes mellowed. He nodded. "Yes, we are brothers."

"And we promised to be there for each other. Remember?" I smiled at Qing. "When I was afraid and hurting after what happened to me. When I first got here, we were always fighting. I was mad. You got mad with me. I want to hurt someone, you wrestled with me. I want to run away. You ran away with me. Qing ah," I touched my brother's arm. "Talk to me. Gege is here..."

"Yes." Qing nodded. "You are my Gege. But you see Gege..." he sighed. "I also thought that we don't have secrets from each other. I thought we can talk about everything. I thought we are so important to each other. But I think we were wrong. I think I was wrong. In so many things."

I cannot follow his words.

"What are you talking about?" I cannot understand my brother.

Qing gave me a long stare. Then he shook his head. "Nothing, Gege. Don't mind me too much. Live for yourself. You should start looking for someone to meet our family. But don't be like me. Find someone our family will love." He smiled encouragingly at me.

I sighed. Then chuckled, "You think this is the time for love? When you are not done acting crazy? Nah. I will do love later. When you are finished moping around and having mysterious calls. When you start being you again, then I might start dating and..." I stopped when a face suddenly entered my head. My breath hitched and I think my heart stopped beating for a second before resuming to work.

I moaned in despair. "Nope. Not gonna date..."

"What? Why?" Qing looked at curiously. "Do you have someone in mind you want to date? Who?"

"No one! I am not gonna date him!" I exclaimed loudly that surprised Qing. "Why are you shouting at me?" He asked pensively.

I shook my head. "Nothing. Just...go back to being normal. For fuck's sake!" I hissed at my brother before storming out of the study room.

I went up to my room on the second floor of our home. I passed a hand on my tired face. I think I can handle a ward filled with sick people well than tackle this issue of Qing and that guy who suddenly popped into my head.

I am thinking about him now? What?

No! No! I will not date that guy even if my whole family approves of him because his mother is close to my mother.

No. I will not date Chen LuBao. I am still in possession of my faculty. I am
still sane.

I will not date. I will not fall in love. Look at what love does to my baby brother.

Fuck love. Fuck this.

Ugh! I am tired.

Why does Qing had to say something about love and dating? He is giving me a headache. Sometimes, my baby brother can really try my patience.

                      .........................

(FENG ZHUTUAN)