South Park x reader oneshot

The Silent Type - Douchebag × Male! Reader

"Kupa Keep ? Where the hell is Kupa Keep ? At the bottom of the sea ? "

"No , no , no . It's not at the bottom of the sea ,unfortunately , it's at Cartman's house . I really need you to go undercover for me to get the stick of truth . "

"I don't know Kyle , doing something that doesn't benefit me really isn't something I really like to do you know ~ "

"FINE ! I'll get you 2 new games and 5 smoothies if you do it . "

(M/n) laughed at his cousin's reaction .

"Just make it 6 smoothies and I'll do it , anyway , when do I start ?"

Time skip ~

(M/n) made her way towards Cartman's house , he wasn't on the best term with Cartman but wasn't on the worst term either so they could be considered as friends if you will . He knocked on his door and  revealed Mrs Cartman .

"Oh , hello Mrs Cartman . I'm here to see Eric , can I come in ? "

"Oh , of course . I was just about to go shopping anyway , could you lock the door behind me when you close the door ? Thank you deary . "

He waved as she drove off and closed the door . 'Now to find Cartman , won't be too hard ... hopefully . '

Finding him wasn't as all difficult as he first thought , seeing as his backyard was visible to the eye from both the inside and outside .
(M/n) whistled at the backyard , it was kinda well done .

Cartman was delivering a speech when he was interurpted .

"Oh , look who it is . It's the cousin of that stupid motherfuckin Jew  ! What the hell are you doing here you Jew ?! "

(M/n) put out a hand for peace .

"Woah woah woah Cartman , first off , thanks for the kind introduction. Second , I'm not Jew , I'm still a free thinker and third , I'm just here to enjoy myself since Kyle won't let me in to his backyard . So just let me sit beside that tree over there and I won't disturb you guys . "

Whispers soon broke out as (M/n) walked by Cartman and sat beside the tree like he promised .

"SILENCE ! All of you continue on with your duties , we can't just let a simple relative of the fuckin JEW distract us . Douchebag you too , just because your fuckin powerful doesn't mean you can slack off as well . Chop chop , back to work " .

'Douchebag ? Isn't that the new kid that moved here ? Feel sorry for the kid , can't believe a parent would name their kid that . '

(M/n) felt a presence infront of him as he opened his eye to see who it was . It wasn't anyone he knew that was for sure . The person was most likely the new kid , he wasn't bad looking too .

"Can I help you ? "

He didn't respond , he only held out his phone towards (M/n) .

"You want a selfie with me ? Thanks but no thanks , I barely even know you and I only take pictures with family or people I know , no exception . So why don't you just  continue on playing this  game , maybe when I get to know you better , than I'll consider but for now no . "

It was silent for a moment till Douchebag kept insisting to take a selfie with (M/n).

He sighed in frustration.

" Look, new kid. I already told you, I don't take selfie's with random people I don't know... Unless, hey new kid. Since you wanna take a selfie with me so badly, why don't you do me a favor ?"

Douchebag titled his head in curiosity. A favor ? It wasn't anything new to him that's for sure.

" I'll take a selfie with you If you tell me where's the stick of truth is. Deal ? "

(M/n) received no response from him which made him frown.

" So your the Silent Type huh ? Sad really, we could've been real nice friends if you
weren't the Silent Type. "

(M/n) got up as he dusted away some dirt. Just as he  was about to walk away, he felt something tug the bottom of his shirt. He turned and was faced with a still emotionless new kid.

" So, you helping me getting the stick or what ? "

(M/n) still hadn't received a response when Douchebag walked past him and pointed at the tent. (M/n) hummed in response as he followed Douchebag into the tent. In there was literally just a  stick that was laid on a pillow which was on a table.

(M/n) had never  wanted to slap his face in disappointment so badly. This stick that was infront of him was the thing that the boys were fighting for, this stick was the reason he was wasting time doing shit.

"Oh my god... This stupid stick is the fuckin reason why I came here and here I thought this stick was made of gold or something. I didn't think it was just a fuckin wooden stick... Might as well take it for the smoothie. "

He took the stick and sighed at the boys who were playing this stupid game just for a stupid stick.

" OK, a deals a deal. Come over here so I can take a selfie with you, can't even believe while I was away you guys would start playing this kind of a game."

Douchebag went over to (M/n) and took a selfie but before he could, he was pushed to the ground and was felt feeling shock at the sudden betrayal.

" Sorry new kid but like a said before, I don't take pictures with strangers... "

(M/n) look back at Douchebag one last time before exiting the tent.

"... But come back to me when you stop playing this stupid game of theirs. I'm pretty sure they forced you into playing this didnt they ? And when the game ends, you can find me at Kyle's house, than we'll get to know each other better. How does that sound ? "

(M/n) couldn't hear it but a soft 'okay' came through Douchebag's mouth.

He waved back at Douchebag as a sign of farewell till their next meeting. However, as Douchebag was about to turn  his back against (M/n), something or someone jumped on him. A shiver ran down his spine as the person breathe against his neck.

"See you later New Kid ~" (M/n) said as he teased him even more by giving the new kid a kiss on the check before running back to Kyle's house.

(M/n) left Douchebag in a flustered state while he himself was left skipping back to his cousin's house.