Mercy (ManxBoy)

47: fιgυяє∂ уσυ συт

 And I like the way you still say please,

While you're looking up at me.

Z A I R E:

I could still hear the loud bang of the gunshot ringing in my ears as Sykes cradled me to his chest, lovingly pressing soft kisses to my head. I was sobbing, burying my head in his neck, wrapping myself up in his arms. 

My heart was pounding in my chest and I couldn't breathe, I didn't know what I was feeling anymore. I couldn't fathom what had happened. Still, four hours later sitting in the police station with Sykes holding me I couldn't tell you what I was feeling. It was all too much. 

I felt relief, guilt, trepidation, nervousness, fear, but overall, I felt free. I felt... safe. Like I didn't have to run anymore. 

Sykes and I had discussed what we were going to say happened, and I figured that I would just tell the complete truth. He'd been stalking me, followed us and he'd been threatening to me. I shot him because I felt endangered. Technically that was what happened.

"Mr. Bennett, Mr. Williams, you're free to go. Please stay out of trouble. I don't want to be seeing you two here again." The police officer said, looking over us cautiously. "Of course, there may be a mandatory court hearing, if so, you'll be expected to be there. Also, please keep your phones on, and don't try to leave the state until we've concluded that this was self defense. But for now, both of you are safe." 

I couldn't get up the power to even smile. I felt so... relieved. Tonight, maybe I could get a good nights rest. Sykes put me on my feet and I sniffled lightly, looking up at him with confusion. "Lets go, we're going to the room. I have something for you-us." He said and I nodded, looking up at him slowly. 

He led me out of the police station his head held high and a protective arm wrapped around my shoulder comfortingly. He pressed a kiss to my temple and looked down at me as he walked me to his car. Since I was in witness protection, I didn't believe that I'd be going to jail. It was an act of self defense, even if I didn't have to pull the trigger. 

I know I should regret it, but I just... can't. That man has put me through hell. I've fought with myself, my dignity, and hell, everything I believe in just because he put me through something so horrific, I still hadn't been able to tell Sykes. 

The truth was, once they finished with Kacer, it was my turn. They passed me around, except they called me dirty and made sure to wear protection. It just as easily could've been me diagnosed with an STD as it was him, and unfortunately, they were just fucked up enough to infect a sixteen year old instead of someone who basically asked for it. 

Sure, I'd always been careful about the people I had sex with, but sometimes things just happen. Protection can break, and sometimes protection just isn't enough. But, overall, I'd never managed to get diagnosed with a single STD. Then the poor kid gets raped, and abused, nearly killed at only sixteen and he gets an STD? How the hell does that even happen? Does god have no mercy? 

Or maybe... Kacer killing himself was gods mercy.

Even if it practically killed his parents, me even... maybe it was just time for him to stop reliving the hell he'd never deserved. I envied him for a long time, being free of Jerome's grasp-hell being free entirely. Now, I realize what it was. Kacer couldn't change what happened to him, but he could control what he put everyone else through. Kacer couldn't help that he'd been in the wrong place at the wrong time, but he could stop everyone from suffering from it. He couldn't help that he'd been raped, and was completely petrified of even his own fathers touch, but he could stop his father from feeling the pain of never being able to hug his son again. He couldn't help that he'd been basically force fed an STD, but he could stop his family from living in the shame of it.