Mercy (ManxBoy)

27: ¢σиѕтαит ¢яανιиg

Or maybe it is life itself,

That feeds wisdom.

Z A I R E:

We've been back in Maine for a few days now, and everything has been running smoothly. Sykes has officially gone back to work, and I have too. School is back in, as well. Things have been rather hectic, but so far nothings been out of control. 

Well, aside from my constant fear of Steven finding me, that is. Whenever I'm out and about, I always thing I see him. I'll feel like he is there, just over my shoulder. I hadn't felt this way since I left him when I was twenty-one and I had thought this was over. I thought I'd be free to just live my life without being afraid.

The first few months, I wouldn't even leave the house. That's when Zexions father decided we'd move to Maine. He thought it was far enough away that Steven would never be able to find me.

Well, surprise surprise, here he is. And he was in my house. The only thing that saved me was Sykes having made me move in with him. If I had of been home after our trip, Steven would have found me, and probably finished what he'd started nearly three years ago.

A chill ran down my spine at the thought, just as a hand came down on my shoulder. I jumped and gasped, turning around quickly. "Oh, master, I'm sorry." I apologized, my cheeks turning red. I couldn't believe I'd reacted that way. I knew he'd keep me safe, in fact, I'd even known he was home.

"Pet we need to talk." He said, and I nodded, fear racing down my spine. What, is he done with me? Does he not love me anymore? Did I do something wrong? Have I misbehaved without realizing it?

He led me into the living room, sitting down, prompting me to sit down on my knees between his legs. "Listen, I can't read your mind," He started, and I nodded, confused. "I need to know what you're thinking. Therefore, I've gotten you a journal. If you do not write in it every day, you will be punished. This may seem like a small task that shouldn't matter much, but this is crucial."

I bit my lip and blushed, nodding my head. "Why, master?" I asked softly, and he sighed.

"I know you don't want to bother me with your thoughts pet, but you do have to. I have to know whats on your mind so I can react accordingly." He said with a sigh. "I know it's hard to talk about your feelings, and with that you've been through, I can imagine it's extra hard because you're used to internalizing everything. That's not going to fly with me, though." I nodded, looking down at the floor in embarrassment. "I will have access to your journal, just so you know. But whatever you write in your journal never leaves our minds, do you understand? I'm not doing this to punish you. I'm trying to find a way to help you express your feelings to me."

"I understand, Master." I agreed softly, and he ran his fingers through my hair.

"I had you a book made," He said softly, pulling me up into his lap. I got comfortable, feeling him running his fingers through my hair.

Just being in his presence slowed my jumbled mind up. It helped me think slower, to process everything and get it straight in my head. He had a calming aura, one that had no problem calming my racing heart, and making me instantly relax.

He leaned forward, pulling out the journal. He handed it to me, and I couldn't help be stare at it. This journal looks expensive! It's got my name in what appears to be leather, ironed onto black leather, that was gorgeous. The back of the book wasn't hardback, it bent easily, and it made it look just that much more elegant. I opened the book to the first page.

On the first page in elegant writing was the simple inscription: And as sure as I own you, your thoughts are mine. It made the book seem like it was just perfect for me. Knowing that I'd have his words with me all the time, even though they were just typed on the page in a beautiful font, made me feel like he would never leave me.