His Broken Angel

Chapter Forty-Nine: I Promise

It's just me, I thought.

If I had another panic attack like the last one, I'd be sent to that hell hole that would only worsen my health. I mean, my health wasn't that great. I knew that my emotional and mental health were going haywire.

They weren't perfect.

"Maggie!" Nikki whispered behind me. I turned my head briskly to face her, fear in my eyes.

"What?" I whispered back.

"Please explain this stupid problem to me."

I nodded my head, almost unsure of my action before helping her.

All my nerves kept kicking my gut. I just wanted to get out of this room. My eyes continued looking around, focusing on everyone.

How were they so calm!?

Everything made me feel anxious. I couldn't control my emotions.

I almost wanted to cry.

All this time I had been trying to do one problem for the past hour, but more memories began invading my head. They were bad ones, ones that were nightmares to me.

Last night I had the same nightmare again. I hadn't dreamt it in a while which only made me feel more scared of my surrounding.

I tried not to scream after I woke up. Even that would alarm everyone living in the same house as me. Then they'd send me to that clinic.

That hell hole.

Once the bell rang, I sped out of class, ignoring Nikki's yells behind me. I went to my locker and tried getting everything that I needed for my next class when a shadow grew over me.

I gulped.

"Maggie?" Reese said behind me.

I blinked a few times to regain my focus. I cleared my throat and turned around, trying to hide my fear and anxiety.

"Y-Yeah?" I stuttered.

That's a good way to hide your fear!

"You okay?"

No. After Reese had seen me like that at the hospital, I've been trying to avoid him. I didn't want him to ever see me like that. . . I didn't want any of my friends seeing me like that.

What would I say now? Oh hey guys! I had a terrible childhood where my father abused me until I started cutting myself and got bullied to become bulimic!

I hated myself for even saying those words in my head.

"I'm. . . Im fine," I said, my voice faltering a bit.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out? Come over to my house?"

I tapped my fingers against my textbook, my lips pressing tightly together. "Um. . . I really can't," I mumbled.

"But-"

"I just can't," I muttered before pushing past him. I walked faster and faster until I reached outside, leaning against the wall before breaking down.

My books had already fallen to the ground as I covered my face with my hands. I tried controlling my breaths, but each time I tried, my breath only hitched. One after the other after the other.

I finally kneeled down, placing my head against the wall before looking up. Everything would've been so different if she were here. If she didn't die because of that fucking disease then she'd still be here with me. With Alex.

She'd be here to give me hugs whenever I needed them. To give me kisses on my cheeks or forehead when I wanted them.

More tears poured.

My life would be turned around if she were still here. If she were here, I wouldn't be like this. I wouldn't be this anxious person who didn't even trust herself!

I hit my head against the wall.

"I miss you," I whispered to myself as I looked up at the sky.