Extinguisher (A Sequel to Firefighter)

Chapter 62

Chapter 62 Extinguisher

Cole's POV**

I held her in my arms, but I couldn't see her. I could only see a brown eyed girl that had stolen my heart, ripped it from my chest and never returned it to me. My heart had never been so broken, even when my mom was telling me what a mistake I was, how she wished she would have never had me. It didn't hurt as bad when my mom was screaming in my face, wishing she'd gotten the abortion when she found out she was pregnant with me. It didn't even hurt as bad when I was watching her mix her alcohol with anti-depressants. Nothing hurt as bad as knowing that Alex wasn't mine, that she was with another guy and he was holding her, not me.

I couldn't even look at Victoria and see her for who she was. I could only pretend it was Alex, letting me touch her and love her one more time. I knew that was totally wrong and it made me a terrible human being, but I didn't care. I needed to feel something, and if Vic could make me feel something, I was going to take it. She was beautiful, absolutely charming and a great girl, but my heart and soul longed for Alex Landon.

I knew she was on vacation with Noah, more than likely having a perfect time and finding it easy to just forget me. But I couldn't forget her. I didn't want to. All I wanted was to spend the rest of my life with her. I'd never been one for commitment, but with Lex, it's so different.

She's beautiful and perfect and I'm in love with her.

"Cole..." Vic moaned beneath me as I sunk into her, pushing against her walls as I groaned.

It didn't feel anything like with Alex, but it made me feel pleasure and that just had to be enough. I knew that I might never feel that again and pleasure without the love would just have to be good enough. I knew that I wouldn't be here much longer anyway. What's the point of all this?

Tears formed into my eyes as I continued moving in and out of Victoria, hearing her moans but unable to feel any kind of love for her.

What is wrong with me?

Alexa's POV

"Lex, c'mon it's just me. Take your shorts off."

"I haven't...worn a bathing suit in...a long time, Noah."

"I know but you're beautiful and you can barely even see a few of your scars. I promise. I know you're self-conscious about them but baby, you have to start living and exposing yourself again. You can't let your past constantly dictate your future, okay?"

I looked into his eyes, my fingers at the button of my denim shorts, hesitant to remove them. Noah had already practically pulled my oversized t-shirt from my body and I felt more exposed and vulnerable than ever. The simple task of stepping out of my shorts seemed too much to bear and I wanted to hide under a rock. There were people everywhere on the beach, but the only person I knew was Noah. He was standing right beside me, waiting impatiently for me to do what he said.

"Lex...please." he nodded, giving me the reassurance I needed to sigh and pop the button open.

I quickly removed my shorts and sat down on the towel, Noah doing the same beside me. He scooted over closer and I wanted to touch his bare chest, to run my fingers through the little bit of hair there. My body shuddered as Noah pressed his index finger to my worst scar, one that was right underneath where my bikini bottoms were.

"Lex...your thighs look so much better than they ever have since you started, baby. You're so beautiful and perfect and I love you so much."

I looked into his eyes, growing speechless from the fact that I was too overwhelmed by his beauty and words.

"The scars are still there. You can still see them, Noah."

"I know...but only a little. You look so much better. Promise me you'll keep your body this way. You're so beautiful. Not that you weren't before. That's not what I'm saying but I love to see you unharmed. Just remember...I have my own scars too. It's a part of our past, not our future, okay?"

I nodded, taking his arm in mine to look at the tiny scars on his bicep. If you didn't know, you'd never recognize that he even had scars but often when we'd make love or he'd sleep with his shirt off, I found myself looking at them and realizing how painful it was keep my eyes on them for very long. I knew that's the same way he felt about my scars and I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't scared of him seeing all of them in such a setting as the beach. When we're in bed, I know he sees them but it's usually dark and he's usually distracted. In this sun light, sitting on the beach, I've never felt more exposed. Is he really going to want a girlfriend with scars when he's older? Is he really going to want to hang onto someone who has always been so damaged?

"Um...You must've cut deep to have left scars." I looked up at him, waiting for a response.

I watched as he looked down at the shiny marks, running a finger over them.

"Yeah...I did. I was in so much pain too but I knew that it wouldn't help anything. Maybe for a few minutes, long enough for the burning feeling to remain but after it's gone...everything's the same. You can't just run away from anything. I know sometimes you want to and sometimes you feel like you're not strong enough to get through the bad, but everyone is. Nobody should have scars. You and I shouldn't have scars. But the most important thing is, they've healed, and when things get bad, we'll work through it together. Lex, baby, you never have to be alone again."

My chest kept tightening, my airway seeming to constrict with every word he was saying. I knew that he was right, his words holding so much truth and wisdom. I wanted to believe him, to believe that he'd always be by my side no matter what. I felt solace in thinking of spending forever with him.

"Noah, I love you." I whispered, scooting closer to snuggle into his chest.

"I love you too, baby. I'll always look out for your best interest, I promise." He assured, pressing a loving kiss to the top of my head.

A/N

So...theories???

Something big is going to happen in this story and I just wonder if maybe you have an ideas??? I love love love theories so....predict away!!!

Vote, share, comment, and check out my story 'Demolition Expert.'