The Fourth Roommate

Old Feelings

I stepped in. The room was only lit by one candle and on the sofa were Selena and Alex. They were very lightly kissing and even though I was expecting it, even though I knew what was coming, it did not hurt once ounce less. All my breath left my body and I fell against the opposite end of the room.

Selena jumped off the old gray sofa and she burst into tears, as if she was the one being betrayed. Alex just looked at me, his guilt written on his face.

"Why?" I burst out, my voice breaking and letting my heels clatter to the ground.

"Serena, I am so, so sorry!"  Selena cried,"but we're in love!"

Love. In love. Not even in my nightmares had I dreamed that Selena could ever do this to me. I remembered our long plans for summer, pretending to be evil geniuses. I remembered all of our pinky promises to never leave each other. To never hurt one another. And they were all broken, all the promises.

"I'm sorry, babe," Alex said.

I guessed that the babe had just slipped out, after all, he'd been calling me babe for four years. And now Selena had claimed that affectionate name, and all I could think was that it was turned out that I was not good enough. It was my fault. If I had been funnier, been more like Selena, this wouldn't have happened.

I just ran out, vowing to myself I would never let myself to trust them again.

***

"Shall I beat him up?" Zac growled, cracking his knuckles after I finished telling them of the last time I had seen Selena and Alex.

  "No," I said, "I... I have to be normal around them, right?"

Cam wrapped an arm around me, and I sighed, breathing in his expensive cologne. Zac didn't look convinced but he told he would only beat the living crap out of Alex when I asked him to. Note the when, and not the if. I shook my head at his violent machoness but I had to admit that I felt pretty powerful about having someone offer to beat someone up for me.

 "Well, I have to face them sometime," I said, sighing. I stood up and fixed my small mascara smudges before linking arms with Cam.

We walked out, Zac and Ace behind us and whispering something about how they were going to kick Selena and Alex out later. I rolled my eyes at them. The truth was, although it was nice to have them completely on my side, that I didn't want them to hate my sister or Alex. I had loved them so much, known them my entire life... I wasn't sure if I hated them yet; I was pissed off as hell, but did I hate them? I couldn't decide.

Alex and Selena were sitting on the sofa, sipping some water. They both looked extremely nervous, and Selena almost never got nervous, She was bright and confident, and there was something about her smile which convinced people that she was completely in control and pretty much amazing. It was a good smile to have.

 I sat down opposite them and Ace and Cam both threw themselves next to me. Zac gritted his teeth and went to sit next to Selena and Alex, leaving a wide bearth of space between them.

"So... nice costume," Alex said.

I smiled, despite myself. "Yeah we're going to a costume party."

He smiled at me and my dumb, dumb, dumb heart did that stupid little flutter thing and a hundred old feelings came back. I suddenly wanted to do what Davy Jones did in the Pirates of the Carribean and carve the thing out so I wouldn't have to feel all of this.

"Well, i don't know if you guys would mind... but Alex and I really missed you and we found your address in mom's room and... we just wanted to meet up. I mean..." Selena didn't really get to the point, but I could tell she was being sincere.

"We wanted to stay a few nights," Alex finished for her.

"Absolutely not!" Ace spluttered.

Cam nodded feverently, and Zac just cracked his knuckles. I glowered at Zac and he pouted, but relented on the threatening behaviour. I put my hand over Ace's to calm him down and looked at Selena and Alex.

"We're going to a costume party tonight, so you guys will have to tag along... I guess," I said, swallowing the bitter taste that came with it, "but... of course."

Ace jerked his head to look at me and I widened my eyes to communicate that he needed to shut it. Ace jutted out his jaw a little to disagree with me and I flicked his thigh with my index finger. His nostrils flared and I pressed my lips together. He tried to stare me down but then eventually his shoulders sagged and he gave up. I smiled victoriously to see Selena and Alex exchange puzzled looks.

"They have silent conversations all the time," Zac moaned and as Alex started to smile he narrowed his eyes, a silent dare to see what would happen if Alex even attempted to laugh. Alex quickly pulled his lips down.

"Well, uh... let's go," I bit my lip and wondered how on earth we were going to make it through an entire night.