Hayden & Dean: A Supernatural Love Story

Chapter 66: Doubt

Dean rolls out of bed and my eyes peak open to the distant red light of the clock. 4:38. He grunts lowly while he stretches and leaves the room with a yawn. I sit up, wiping the sleep from my eyes. I let them adjust to the dim room. I swing my legs over the bed and find my robe. I swing it around both arms and stand up slowly. I leave the room and go check on Paul. Dean is there, feeding him a bottle, sitting in the rocking chair.

"Sorry if I woke you" he says when I enter the room without looking up.

"You didn't, I've been awake a while," I tell him in return. He nods his head while looking at our son. "How am I going to do this?" He asks in a low tone.

"Do what?" I ask unsure of what he means

"Be innocent. Become uncorrupted." His green eyes search Paul's matching ones for some kind of answer.

I walk over to him and kneel in front of them both. I put one hand against Paul's head and the other rests on Dean's knee. He looks to me for answers I don't have. "We will do this together" I give his knee a squeeze to try and help encourage him. He smiles back at me but I know it's forced. I leave the two of them be and head into the main room. Sam and Castiel are both sitting at the table. The younger Winchester eyes wide reading a computer screen, and the angel pouring over a book "does anyone ever get any sleep around here?" I joke walking up the few steps.

"Angels don't sleep" Castiel responds instantly without looking up.

"Yah" I roll my eyes with a smile "I know, I was just.. Never mind. What are you guys looking for?" I change the subject, knowing Castiel will no longer understand humor like before.

Sam looks up from his screen briefly to answer, "What the book meant by Dean having to become innocent to rid the mark off Paul" his eyes flutter back to the screen when he finishes talking. I walk behind him and look over his shoulder. I don't really understand what he is looking at and take a step back.

"So, did you find anything?" I finally ask after waiting a few more minutes.

Sam kinks his neck to the side to crack it "we think so, but we just want to be sure it's what we are looking for" he doesn't look up from the screen.

"That's great!" I shout happily

"It's not going to be easy Hayden" Castiel speaks "Dean is going to have to work really hard at this."

I nod my head quickly; I know he will do whatever he has to do "what is it?" I ask

"Let's get a few more resources first before we jump into anything, alright?" Sam asks looking over his shoulder at me

I puff out and nod. I know he's right, we should know for sure what Dean does, will work, but I'm ready to be finished with it. I leave the room and wander aimlessly around. I end up in the vast kitchen. Remains of sandwiches lay on dirty plates piled in the sink. I decide to make breakfast for everyone since we're all up anyway. I pull out some eggs and bacon and turn the stove on. I keep myself busy cooking enough food for 3 mornings. 45 minutes go by before I head back into the room with a big bowl of eggs in one hand and a giant plate of bacon in another.

I place the food down in front of Sam who looks up with a smirk "thanks Hayden" he grabs a piece of bacon, rips into it, and types at the keys some more.

A few minutes pass before Dean comes into the room. By that time, Sam and I already have a plate of eggs in front of us. "I knew I smelled bacon!" He smiles coming over to the food. He grabs three pieces of bacon and shoves it into his mouth while holding Paul in his other hand.

"Here, I'll hold him" I say to Dean reaching my arms out.

He shakes his head "no, you're eating, I got him" he insists

"Really Dean," I push "I've had enough, I know you're ready to dig in" I stand

He continues to smile as he passes our son to me. He takes my seat at the table and starts to pile more eggs and bacon onto it, eating at the same time.

Sam and I look at each other and shake our heads "some things never change" Sam chuckles.

"What?" Dean asks with his mouth full.

No one answers and the room stays silent except for the sound of chewing.

That afternoon, when Sam said he still isn't comfortable sharing what he knows yet, I decided to take Paul for a walk. Dean refuses to let us go alone, with Lucifer being out of the cage and insists Castiel comes along with us. I try to protest, claiming he is of better use researching with Sam, but Dean wouldn't have it.

We walk quietly through a park. The brisk fall wind brushing against our faces, causing them to glow pink. The leaves crunch beneath our feet. "I love the fall!" I exclaim kicking a patch of leaves off my vans. Castiel doesn't say anything in return and the walk remains silent. The wind picks up and our pace quickens. We start to head back to the bunker before the encroaching storm arrives.

We get to the foot of the driveway and Castiel stops in his tracks. I swivel my head quickly in fear "What?" I ask in a hushed tone, afraid for my son.

"I have to tell you something Hayden" His voice lower than usual.

"What is it?" I ask unsure of what it could be

"I don't think Dean will be able to do this," he says simply

My eyes widen with shock "What?" is all I can say

"Although the task to have an innocent mind again is attainable, I believe Dean has seen and done too many dark things to come back from" He explains further to me his doubt.

I put my finger in his face and keep my voice low "don't you dare cast doubt now. Dean came back from being a demon and from hell, he killed Abaddon, he saved me, and he's the one who fought to get your grace back!" I push my finger into the trench coat he wears. "He will do this" I grit through clenched teeth.

Castiel just looks at me "you're right. He has overcome many tasks before"

He walks onto the driveway and puts a few feet between Paul and I. I follow him silently, angry that he casted doubt, but more angry that part of me listened.