Hayden & Dean: A Supernatural Love Story

Chapter 34: Reminding Dean

We drive for about 30 miles before Dean pulls off the road and into a motel. He gets a room and we go inside. We sit silently apart from each other some more. Some time passes before one of us speaks.

"What did Cain say to you when he grabbed you again" he asks

"I don't even remember" I lie to him. He gives me a look "I was trying to get out of there as fast as possible, I wasn't listening to the crazy man who's hands were wrapped around my neck" I spit out. He sighs and sits back in the chair.

"Do you think he's right?" Dean asks finally

"I don't know" I say flatly "are we willing to find out?" I look up to him and he looks to me.

"H.." He starts to stand up with concerned eyes.

I throw my hand up quickly "don't. Stop" I say and he freezes. "We're not there anymore Dean." I gesture between us. "You can't just come over here, give me a hug, kiss me on the forehead and make everything alright anymore" I ramble out "it's not alright! You basically tried to rape me!" I choke out the words "Okay, so you were a demon, I'm trying to wrap my head around it, and accept that it wasn't you. But just being around you makes me ill, physically ill." I spit out to him holding my stomach.

I look to him again and his face is pale and green "I did what to you?" He asks. I give him an annoyed glare, angry for him wanting me to say it again. "I..I tried to rape you?!" He basically screams. I furrow my eyes in confusion and nod my head. He quickly runs out of the room and into the bathroom. I can hear him throwing up. I slowly walk over to the doorway and stand there over him. He wipes his mouth and sits with his back against the motel tub. He looks at me with sad, confused eyes "I don't remember doing that" he looks for something in me.

"What do you remember?" I ask him standing still.

"Going to a bar with Crowley, drinking, and then waking up tied to the chair in the dungeon" he looks off into he distance. "Did I really do that to you?" He asks, hands shaking.

"Yea, you were on top of me. Trying to--" I whisper out into the air not able to finish the sentence. He hovers over the toilet again, getting sick. I sit on the ground, my legs crossed and wait for him to be done.

"Hayden I-- Hayden I don't even know what to say.. Oh god.." His eyes start to water "I'm so sorry" he cries "I'm sorry. I can't believe.." He looks down at himself and goes silent. "No wonder you feel ill around me. I'm a monster" he stays looking down.

"You WERE a monster" I correct him. "You're Dean now." I don't know why but I feel the need to make him feel better.

"How could I not remember?!" He yells out loud.

"Do you really want to?" I ask when his eyes reach mine. He shivers with the thought and shakes his head no. We sit there a bit longer, and I listen to the sound of our breathing. We sit there for what feels like hours.