Together

134. Happy Birthday, JJ

I'm not running away
Water is running like I stay
Constant growing up
I'm not making this up
It got hard for me to believe in true love
Constant growing up
I'm not running away
I'm not running away
I'm not running away
-Feist

"How are things going, JJ?" Dani asks, smile soft and eyes encouraging.

It's been a few weeks since the fight at school, which really was the breaking point for all the unprocessed trauma of the weeks before that.

Kie had been able to lull him to sleep more than a few nights since she initially snuck in his room, assuring him that she was okay and didn't need him to keep her occupied in the night. Shoupe found that out when he checked in one night, and caught them wrapped in each other's arms.

While the Sheriff wasn't opposed to the two leaning on each other, he didn't completely trust that was all that they needed. He couldn't speak for Kie and her issues, but he was terrified JJ was gonna fall asleep on his bike or driving the truck, and refused to let JJ drive either until he had at least a couple sessions with Dani to sort out any lingering post-trauma symptoms and was back on track with a normal sleep schedule.

JJ hadn't been going to therapy nearly as often as he was before Kie was attacked. Was pretty certain they were winding down sessions and only really doing check ins until Shoupe forced him into it again.

He couldn't deny that it helped though. Dani was a good listener, and she made him question things and challenged his thinking. It weirdly gave him reassurance that he was handling things normally. As normal as having nightmares and being on edge was, any way. Dani assured him that after a traumatic experience, yes, that was extremely normal, but nonetheless something to address. Normal and functioning are different things after all.

So, the last few weeks he stuck it out, sorting through that horrific night and the guilt he felt about it all. It was weird how different this round was compared to the last. Dani explained that his mind might just be more open to seeing things differently because of all the prior work he put in. It wasn't like he had to relearn how to assign responsibility for the choices of others.

He already blamed Travis for it all. Just was disappointed in himself that he wasn't there fast enough. That he didn't tell someone what was going on sooner. But Dani helped him come to accept the point that, oddly, Mike had pointed out. That he did speak up. And that even if he did say something, there was no way he could have known if that would have turned Travis off or just delayed the inevitable.

He accepted the truth that he couldn't control other people and took comfort in knowing that in the future he has a better plan of how to deal with things like that. The plan he came up with Dani was that he would trust his gut, and talk to the people in his life that were his trusted supports so they could help. It was a good plan and all, and he never say this to Dani(didn't want to get put on a hold) but if Kie ever got stalked again, his real plan was a lot more straight forward. That guy was gonna be dead.

"Things are good, actually," JJ informs, taking one of the fidget spinners that he likes out of her bowl of fidget toys and flicking it with his finger. "Don't got much to talk about today, really."

"Any nightmares since the last time I saw you?"

"Nah, not really. Maybe once, but I was able to get back to sleep after." Didn't tear him up like it had been. "And could you also make a note to tell Shoupe that I am sleeping?" he requests, pointing to her notepad.

Dani chuckles. "It's all self report, JJ, I can't guarantee to Shoupe that you are actually sleeping."

"He doesn't need to know that," JJ bargains. He really wants his bike back.