Together

26. Definitely Gone

Call me babydoll
Come break down these walls
Don't leave me alone
Call me babydoll
Too cold, it's withdrawal
This house ain't a home
-Ari Abdul

JJ comes home from the chateau later that evening. He'd promised the guys that he would talk to Kie soon. Neither of them were willing to keep him still being on the Island a secret from her for long.

"Pogues don't lie to other Pogues," John B enforced.

It was a reluctant compromise that they'd give him twenty four hours to figure it out. He walked into his room and began unpacking the duffel that was left in the kitchen from when Darcy came over. He hadn't thought to put it in his room before heading off to get his job back.

He unpacked his clothes, putting everything back in his dresser. He grabbed some sheets from the linen closet and made his bed. He then pulled out the few books he had been reading and put them back on the shelf. He took out the posters from one of the drawers and hung them on the walls, right where they had been before.

Just as he was about to admire his work, he felt his phone vibrate. He pulled it out and opened a message from Shoupe, who was just letting him know that he was going to be pulling a double due to another deputy calling out sick. JJ gave a quick reply and then went to the living room to watch TV.

He was so relieved to be here. Having an actual home and space to call his was way more than he thought he'd have a few months ago. All that considered and seriously appreciated, right now he was so fucking bored. Not hanging with the Pogues sucked.

To be fair, the guys had told him they were going to the boneyard and invited him to come. He was thinking about it when they mentioned that Kie and Sarah were also going. Nah, he couldn't do that yet. Not when her dad had just chewed him out that day and she could be sent off any second.

He wasted time a little longer before calling it a night. A boring night. And a restless one. He continued to toss and turn as sleep escaped him a second night in a row. What was he gonna do about Mike? He'd have to tell Kie the truth. There was no option now that he was staying. She'd never stop until she got her answer.

As much as her knowing the truth terrified him, John B was right. She had to know. It was her dad. She should know what kind of man she was living with and what he was willing to do to her to get his way. Who knows, JJ might not be the only line in the sand he'd draw like this. She needed to know what he was capable of.

It wouldn't change anything. They still couldn't be together. He paused that thought. They couldn't, right? He bit his lip and let his mind go to a place he'd hadn't allowed since an hour after Mike gave him that fucking ultimatum.

What if they did stay together? What if she told him to fuck off and she ran away with him? They could travel the world, just hopping from country to country. He'd have to do some illegal crossing at the borders sense he doesn't have a passport but that'd be a risk he'd be willing to take. He grins at the daydream.

His heart feels lighter than it has in weeks as he begins to more seriously think about them getting back together. Maybe they didn't need to stay broken up. Maybe they could hide it. Might be risky and take a lot of effort but Jesus, it felt like a fulltime job evading her now, what more work could pretending to be broken up be? She already had an alternate form of communication, so her parents wouldn't know they were still talking.

JJ began to feel more hopeful. He takes a deep breath, feeling sleep becoming more accessible now that he has a plan that wouldn't involve continuing to rip his beating heart from his chest every time he thought about her.