Together

98. It's not up to you

I've got tight grip on reality
But I can't let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream
You are the only exception...
And I'm on my way to believing
-Paramore

A meeting was easily set up between Ms. Taylor, Shoupe, and JJ a couple days after she talked with him. Apparently Ms. Taylor wasn't nearly as unfocused as he was, and didn't leave it up to him to talk with his foster father about her request. Nope, she took it on herself to email Shoupe and arrange a time for them to "talk" about his low performance in her class.

Shoupe inquired with him about what the issue was, but JJ just shrugged, stating that he hasn't caught up with things in his classes since he was out that week for his concussion and then being sick a couple more days than expected.

Shoupe wanted to give JJ the benefit of the doubt. The kid has been putting effort into his time at school, at least a lot more than he did last year. Ms. Taylor's request for them to meet left him feeling a little confused, but JJ's explanation seemed to make sense.

Never the less, if one of his teachers wanted to meet, then they were going to meet. There was little JJ could do to avoid that. Shoupe was as responsible as they came and had taken a more than healthy interest in JJ's academic success.

JJ's leg is bouncing as he stands outside his algebra class, waiting for Shoupe to arrive. He looks around the deserted hallway, huffing breaths. He was actually nervous about this.

It's not like he's never been pulled into a teacher's office before to talk about his "behaviors" or "lack of motivation" but now it hit different. Like this actually matters and as much as he wants to blow it off and act like it doesn't, he can't.

He gives a tight lipped smile to a couple kids that pass by, trying to look natural. The band geeks just give him a weird look he can't say isn't earned. He never hung out here after school.

The rest of the pogues were already on their way home. He hasn't owned up to anyone yet about what is going on with him academically. He just told them that he needed to stay behind to talk to a couple of his teachers about the make up work he needed to do from being sick. No one questioned it, though he wouldn't be surprised if Kie saw through it. She'd never confront him outright in front of everyone though, and for that he's grateful.

After his little breakdown on the dock and momentary mental lapse in judgement, Kie's been gentle. Not obviously so, it's subtle. Not disagreeing with him just to do it, and giving him soft looks instead of confronting him on his shit. He knows it's because of Luke.

Spouting off how the man could possibly know where his mom is showed a level of vulnerability not even he knew he was capable of. He doesn't even know where it came from, honestly. It was just there. All of a sudden it hit him like ice water to the face.

What if Luke knew where she was? What if he went looking for her when he was on the run? What if he found her? Could he have done that? Would he?

He quickly deemed those questions and their hopeful answers rooted in fantasy and he brushed them aside. Kie probably thought he was pushing it away because he was sad or embarrassed by the admission, but the truth was he didn't really believe any of it.

After all, Luke ranted and raved for years about his mom picking up and leaving him behind. If he knew where she was no question he would have dragged her back. Or worse.

"You ready?"

JJ looks up, coming back to earth when Shoupe is next to him.

"You hear from Darcy yet?" he asks.