Together

81. I Got Some Idea

Thinking you could live without me
Thinking you could live without me
Baby, I'm the one who put you up there
I don't know why
Thinking you could
Yeah
-Halsey ILLENIUM Remix

Kiara leans her elbows on the bar top, head resting on her hand. You could hardly tell that she was less than enthused at having to close the Wreck on a Friday night.

She sighs at the remaining tables. It wasn't a slammed night comparatively. There has been a steady stream of customers all evening, but now that the dinner rush was over and it was venturing closer to close, new guest were far and wider apart.

She pulls out her phone, opening her text threads and finding JJ's contact. They hadn't talked about him having to do visitation with Luke since he broke down in the courtyard. It twisted her gut to think about it. How JJ always ended up with having to make hard choices didn't compute to her. It wasn't fair in the slightest. You'd think at some point he'd catch a break.

She scrolls through their last text conversation. He'd sent her some dumb tic tok of a couple pranking each other. The guy had put flour in the girl's hairdryer. JJ thought that was hilarious. Kiara was quick to tell him to not even think about it.

Kiara looks up, spotting a couple getting cozy in a back booth, whispering in each other's ears and laughing at the gentle touches. She finds herself missing her own boyfriend. What was he even doing right now?

She'd been moderately busy the whole night, but JJ was banned from working until his next check in with his doctor, so he should be free. Usually he texts her throughout her shift. She frowns, assuming his silence is because he's in a foul mood over Luke.

JJ had a history of going dark on everyone, her included, when Luke came around. It's been like that since they were kids. Sure, he's gotten way better at dealing with it and letting at least her in, but Kiara had a horrible feeling that this may be setting him back. That old thinking and ways of dealing with it were coming to the surface after they'd been banished to the depths for so long.

She saw it in the courtyard. How quick he was to slide back and blame himself. She was honestly just glad he was opening up to her at all.

A classic JJ move was to withdraw because he wanted to control how others viewed him. Luke made him feel small and it always felt like that's how other people would see him too, if they were to know how powerless he really was. So he would run away, hide his feelings and thoughts. Pretend that things were fine. As long as everybody believed it he could too.

It made Kiara sad that JJ thought he was powerless. In all honesty he really was, she couldn't deny that. At least when he was living with Luke.

He had people that cared, though. He's always had the Pogues but it was more than that now. He had Shoupe and Dani and Darcy. On some level he had her parents, at least Anna was warming up to him more openly. Mike was still a harder sell but even Kiara couldn't deny that he wasn't super spiteful about JJ's presence anymore and that was something. And Mike didn't hesitate to talk to Darcy about what he witnessed when Luke tried to attack JJ at the Wreck.

The point is, he has people on his side.

It bothered her that he faught off how much others wanted to care about him. How he dismisses them like it's nothing just in case the person leaves. Again, he has gotten better, but the true test of new thinking is when it's hard. Right now she knows how hard it is for him to believe.

She goes to type him a message, initiating contact. She's not going to let him sulk and isolate. He may be used to hiding away from everyone but Kiara is way more used to seeking him out and thwarting those plans. She'd fly in faster than a Miley Cyrus song if she had to.