Black & White || BTS FF

Chapter 88: Free

As you finished your story, you examined Jimin's face.

It was difficult to read. Wistful, maybe? Sadness? Longing? You couldn't tell. 

You sighed. "I didn't know him for very long, Jimin, but for the short time I did, he was amazing. I owe him my life," you said softly. 

Jimin smiled faintly. "Yes... eomma always said so. I'm glad there's someone else that can vouch for it." He paused, chewing his lip thoughtfully. "But she confuses me. She said he was amazing, but she also said he did very bad things. Insinuating that he was a bad man. She didn't ever bring him into conversation, if it wasn't with me. At family dinners and the sort, she refused to talk about him. No matter how much anyone pressed."

You pursed your lips. "Maybe because he was mafia?"

Jimin shrugged dismissively. "Maybe," he said, then smiled at you. "Anyway, that's all I was wondering. Thanks for clearing things up."

You smiled back at him, cocking your head slightly. "You don't wanna stay for a little longer?"

He shook his head. "I've got to get back to eomma before she realises I'm gone. I'm supposed to be watching my little brother and his friends, but I couldn't wait any longer. The fact that our fathers worked together just couldn't get off my mind, and I was dying to tell you about it."

You shrugged. "Alright Chim. Thanks for dropping by, it was... good to see you again." 

Jimin looked at you quizzically as he rose from the couch and stepped towards you. "You alright, babe? You seem a bit... awkward? For the lack of a better word..."

You shook your head, standing up to hug him. "No, no... I just... I guess I just feel a little strange about everything that happened..." You weren't sure how to word it. You had never really been great at expressing your feelings.

Jimin held you at arm's length for a moment, tilting his head and raising his eyebrows. He knew you were hesitant. It was like he was saying, "I know somethings up, just tell me," with his eyes.

You sighed, looking down. "I guess it just feels a little too fast for all of you to forgive me. I'm not saying I'm not grateful, but I still feel guilty about everything, and-" You blurted out, knowing he was about to berate you for feeling as if it were your fault. 

He cut you off with a scoff, followed by his warm 'Jimin' hug. "Oh, come one, Y/N. You know we're past this already. It doesn't take long for us to forgive you because we know it wasn't your choice. It wasn't your fault, okay? Stop kicking yourself over something that doesn't even matter anymore. It's all in the past now, and we're here, in the present."

'It's not your fault.'

Something crashed right through you. 

It was as if you had been waiting your whole life to hear those words. That it wasn't your fault. 

Because up to this moment, the thought had been at the root of all your problems. 

Everything had been your fault.

Jisoo, Hyerin, your parents, Yoongi, Dahyun, Taehyung...

Or so you had thought.

But here was Jimin, telling you that it wasn't your fault, and that it was all in the past.

And he's right.

It is all in the past. It doesn't matter now. You can live a new life, start afresh.

You can live in the present.