Wines And Guns

65.

Everything seemed too blur. He could concentrate on nothing, not even the attempts made by his father to stop him. His only aim was to get to Porsche. As soon as he opened the door and entered into the room he was overcome with the feeling of extreme agony. His Porsche was lying still on the bed with pipes attached to his mouth and nose. His face had fading bruises and his hands and feet were covered in scratches and cuts which looked ghastly. His eyes were shut and a tight and most of his body was bandaged. He wondered how long Porsche had gone by without treatment. There were bags under his eyes and marks of old wounds near the fresh ones. Apparently he had fainted due to exhaustion, drop in blood sugar, dehydration and mostly due to shock. On top of that there was the blood loss. He had seen enough injuries and had endured many but this was the one which scared and hurt him the most. Because these injuries were on the man he loved and cared for. The Porsche he saw infront of himself was nothing like the strong and optimistic man who was once by his side and that filled him with the strong desire to hold him and protect him against everything. As he went closer to Porsche his sadness increased on seeing the man in that condition.

"Hey Porsche..."

He gently ran his hand against the man's forehead.

"I know you're feeling overwhelmed Khun Kinn. I completely understand. But he's going to be in pain once he wakes up too... And he needs you by his side through this. You need to stay strong for him".

These were the doctor's words. He had to stay strong... For his Porsche. Even while he was unconscious, Porsche seemed anxious. And he knew the true physical pain will start once he wakes up. His father had betrayed his trust, had tried take away the man he loved from him. He sat by Porsche's side rubbing his hand slowly. Everything seemed unreal. There was sorrow on seeing Porsche like that but also relief that he was back. Everything had changed so much in his life in the past few months. He knew he was never going to let go of Porsche again.

"Hey Porsche... Are you mad at me? Well I understand. You should be. I'm the reason why you're here today. You don't have to forgive but still I want to apologise. You may not be able to hear me now but I'll repeat my words for you to hear once you're awake. I'm so happy that you're here. And I'm so sorry I couldn't do anything to help you. Remember when you took Khun out for the first time? That day you had told me 'I'm great aren't I?' well guess what? I completely agree... You really are great. You're the best thing to ever happen to me".

He lost track of time as he stayed glued to Porsche's side. There were marks around Porsche's neck that indicated that his captors had tried to strangle him at some point and the doctors were relieved that his feet weren't crushed considering the severity of his injuries. He sometimes kept his head on Porsche's chest to rest. It was calming and comforting to hear the man's heartbeat and to feel his chest go up and down and he breathed. He remained present in the room and helped the doctors in lifting Porsche up when his bandage was changed. Seeing the bloody wound and other cuts on his body made him furious and sad at the same time. He was thankful that the room in which Porsche was in was located towards the corner of the corridor and was great for privacy which is what he assumed Porsche would prefer at the moment. Now all he could do was to sit and wait for Porsche to get up.

Other than the physical pain it was going to take Porsche a lot of time to heal mentally. Seeing Porsche's condition made him realise the difference on how his family were treated versus what awful things Porsche had to endure. His parents freaked out at every small thing after Khun's kidnapping and even the kidnappers were too cautious to not do something too physically damaging because they knew where the boy came from on the other hand it looked like they had tried to kill Porsche several times. After such incidents he couldn't imagine how long it could take for Porsche to recover completely. He had seen his brother change forever right infront of his eyes. He had always tried to come off as strong and emotionally secure to conceal his insecurities and give Porsche a feeling of safety and to make him feel like he has someone to take care of him. But now he felt like a coward, completely helpless and weak. On top of everything he didn't knew how to break the news of Namphueng's death to Porsche. It felt wrong to hide it from him too so he decided to let Porsche recover physically a bit before telling him.