Can you heal old scars?

Chapter 59

Quin groaned as his consciousness returned to him the next morning, his whole core felt violently raw and even breathing too deeply ached.

It felt like someone had used his insides as a punching bag, which now he thought about it, they kind of had...

The culprit lay below him, fast asleep with tussled hair and happy smile on his sleeping lips.

Quin felt momentarily indignant, watching Ryan sleep so peacefully. It almost felt unfair in a way, but Quin supposed that with time it wouldn't hurt him so much afterwards.

He sort of shook himself, the idea of doing it again had just flowed into his mind so easily and settled, he hadn't even really thought about what that meant. This was such a huge deal, his biggest hurdle if you will, and he had jumped it..

Quin took time to think about the events of the night, how did he feel?

That was.. somewhat complicated to figure out.

It had felt good, and he was happy that they had finally mated, but it hadn't been perfect.

Not that things like that were ever exactly perfect, but there had been moments that were uncomfortable for him, both physically and mentally.

It only seemed fair to give them acknowledgement, to fully dissect them and accept them. In the moment it had been good, but now out of the moment, without the pleasure and the intimacy, the more negative emotions and memories were surfacing.

It was always going to bring up bad memories, it was unavoidable. But to Quin's great pleasure, it was far more good than it had been bad and it wasn't causing the usual panic that it would normally cause him.

He peeled himself from Ryan carefully, trying his best not to wake him. Quin sat for a while in silence, listening to the sounds of the early morning birds begining to sing.

Everything felt calm and safe, and the longer he thought about everything, the calmer and less worried he became.

Slowly Quin grabbed his robe and headed to the bathroom, running the bath before sinking into the hot and soothing water.

The ache inside him lessened as he sat, his mind also settling into a comfortable acceptance.

He loved Ryan and Snow, and couldn't deny that finally joining with them was infinitely more satisfying than he thought it would be.

Sure he was in a bit of pain now, but he had expected worse if he was honest, and it felt like what he had gained emotionally was well worth the discomfort.

Quin got out of the bath and dried himself, wrapping the robe around him before returning to the room. When he entered Ryan was just stirring, his hand reaching about in the bed as if searching for him.

Quin couldn't help but smile as he sat down carefully on the bed, laying his hand over Ryan's, who opened his eyes bleerily with a smile.

He was still feeling a little indignant, that he should have to deal with this discomfort and Ryan did not.. but maybe, in time he would get his own back...

Ryan looked over at Quin wrapped in that fluffy robe, his long dark hair falling over his shoulder. He couldn't help but feel so very happy and content, their lives might still have some issues to overcome but now they were truly bonded, he felt they could deal with anything.

However when he allowed his mind to flow through the bond Quin seemed... Sad?

Ryan pushed himself up and rested against the headboard, cocking his head to the side with concern.

Quin dropped his gaze, but squeezed Ryan's hand gently before speaking. He knew Ryan was worried, he could feel Ryan's concern radiating out of him like tentative fingers gently touching his essence, hoping to soothe away anything bad.