Can you heal old scars?

Chapter 39

Ryan hated himself for it, but he was so happy when Niles decided to finally leave their room, moving into the spare room across the hall.

He had been fighting with himself the whole time, struggling with his instinct to claim his mate, assert his dominance and chase Niles away.

It was stupid, and he logically knew it was, but his instinct was going haywire lately. Kyle's behaviour of late had really ramped up his levels, and the intrusion and attack by Trent had just made everything so much worse. When he then offered to share his bed with Niles, Snow had lost it. They hadn't been seeing eye to eye since then, and the strain was taking its toll.

Ryan knew he would have to talk to Quin about how he was feeling, how he was struggling. He was petrified that Quin would freak out, retreat from him when all he wanted was to hold him close... But Ryan had avoided this for too long, and if he left it any longer he could risk Snow taking control. He couldn't let that happen.

When Ryan woke in the morning, he saw Quin sat in bed, messing with his phone. He had been trying to send messages to his friends on a regular basis, but it was difficult to get a reliable signal. But when Ryan sat up he caught sight of the picture of Quin's scar on the screen.

Quin turned to look at Ryan, a determination to him that piqued Ryan's interest. Quin showed Ryan his phone, and then proceeded to delete the pictures.

Quin was done. He was done with holding onto parts of his past that were hurtful to him, done with keeping reminders of his abuser, and done with his fear holding him back.

With the pictures now deleted, he put his phone back on the bedside table and turned to look at Ryan.

"I think we need to talk about this, don't we?" Quin asked, taking Ryan by surprise.

"Yes... actually I wanted to talk to you about this too, I think it's a good idea to address it."

Ryan internally cheered, he had been so scared to bring this up that hearing Quin wanting to talk about it made Snow almost leap about in joy.

"I was afraid to tell you that I was scared for you to mark me, I didn't want you to think I was rejecting you. I was convinced that I would end up with a mark like Callow's... I know it was stupid to think that, but it's all I could picture when I thought about it."

Quin looked at Ryan, he was listening and being patient. He always listened, and Quin felt annoyed at himself for not talking about this sooner, but there had been so much going on...

"I showed Niles the pictures, he told me that mating scars were not meant to look like that. He said most were small and neat, some people even hide them with makeup... I know you, and even Xander have told me that wasn't what it should look like but I never really took it in... I feel so stupid.."

Ryan shook his head and took Quin's hands in his, he kissed Quin's knuckles and fingers lovingly before looking him in the eyes.

"Quin you don't need to feel stupid, you haven't seen another mating scar before and had nothing to go off. It's understandable you would be afraid, I wish you would have said something sooner." Ryan said softly.

Quin nodded, Ryan was so understanding towards him despite the desperation on his face. Quin knew Ryan wanted to give Quin his mark, and oddly that thought wasn't entirely frightening for Quin anymore.

"I'm going to be honest with you, and say what I need to say. I want to have you bare my mark, it bothers me that I haven't been able to do that on many levels, and it really bothers Snow. My instincts have been going haywire lately and I have been fighting to hold back.. I want to mount you Quin, I want to claim you and have you as my Lunar..."