Can you heal old scars?

Chapter 21

Quin fiddled with the beer bottle in his hands, peeling the label off bit by bit. He didn't know how to start this conversation, or even what it was he really needed to discuss exactly, but he was determined to try.

"I need to talk about... relationship stuff..." He said, grimacing slightly.

Katja sat forward and gave him a gentle smile.

"Is this about Ryan? Are you still scared about the sex stuff?" She said bluntly, Xander choking on the mouthful he had just tried to swallow.

"Ah... yeah kinda..?" Quin said, suddenly feeling very exposed in the vest he was wearing.

"You don't have to jump straight into bed with the guy, Quin. Just take things slowly and let it happen naturally, if he is a decent guy he won't rush you." Katja said, Quin continuing to fiddle with the bottle in his hands.

"Kat it's not that simple... It's not an irrational fear... There's a good reason I'm not ok with being with a guy." Quin could feel the all too familiar closing of his throat as he began to panic again.

Katja's face fell, her expression now full of concern.

"I was... ah... as a kid..." Quin stopped, forcing himself to take some deep breaths before trying again.

"I was abused... As a kid. I'd only just turned 12 when it started, was barely 19 when I finally got away from them. The guy ruined my life, Kat. Now I can't even think about a guy I like without instantly panicking, I'm taken right back to that hell and I just freak out. So I never bothered to even try, figured I would never be in a relationship anyway... Now I'm supposed to be Ryan's mate, and I just don't know how to do that... don't know if I can..."

Kat reached out and took Quin's hands in hers, rubbing them gently. Her heart broke for him, she knew he had issues with letting people in, but she never dreamed it was anything like this.

"Oh Quin, honey I'm so so sorry! No one has the right to do that to you..." She said, her eyes gently glowing a ruby red colour.

"He was the Alpha of a Werewolf pack... He and his pack killed almost everyone who lived on the reserve I grew up in. He killed my Father right in front of me and my Mother, and what was left of my tribe. Then he turned on me, he raped me as my mother screamed and begged for mercy..." He had to pause again, his hands shaking despite Kats grip on them.

She took the bottle from his hands and held them tightly, rubbing her fingers across his knuckles.

"He took me as his mate and marked me with a fucking ugly huge scar, it's why I never showed my neck to anyone, I was so ashamed. He would humiliate me in front of everyone, it hurt so much every time... He found it funny, I think he enjoyed me being in pain..." He looked away from Kat as his eyes filled with tears

"Now I'm mated to another Alpha wolf, and I'm petrified... I don't want to be marked, I only just got rid of the last bite, I don't want to have another... I don't want to be in pain..."

At that point Quin's ability to speak abandoned him as he began to shake rather violently, he let out a sort of strangled sobbing sound and got up to press his forehead against the cold window. It was like all his emotions were trying to rush out of his mouth in one go.

Xander came up next to him, he didn't say anything, and instead just breathed slowly and steadily.

Quin listened to the sound of each breath, forcing his own to fall in line. The thumping of his heart slowing and calming, until he burst into tears and clung to Xander.

Xander wrapped Quin up in his arms, gently stroking his back and shushing him. He had taken a big step forward tonight, and even though it was painful, it was progress and he was so very proud of his little brother.