Can you heal old scars?

Chapter 17

Quin didn't remember the flight, his mind too busy racing from one emotion to the other. He vaguely remembered messaging Xander before the flight to pick him up when he got to New York, and he sort of remembered getting on the plane. But by the time his mind caught up to him it was already time to disembark, which meant he had actually got on the plane, which meant this wasn't a dream.

He sat in the V.I.P lounge after leaving the plane, in a bit of a daze. So much so that he hadn't even noticed the group of curious onlookers that had gathered near by, taking pictures, whispering and pointing at him.

He had taken off the parka on the plane, the warmth getting too much for him. But he couldn't let go of it to put it in his bag, instead he held onto it, burying his face into the material.

He was tired and hurting and just wanted to go back to his apartment and sleep.

Xander finally arrived a half hour late complaining about the traffic, he walked over with a smile on his face, but that smile fell right away when he saw the state Quin was in.

He was sat with his knees pulled up to his chest, a grubby looking green jacket held tightly to him as he stared out ahead of himself. Even after Xander approached him he didn't react, Xander having to shake him before he finally snapped out of his trance.

"Hey little brother, what's wrong? You look awful!" Xander said, grabbing Quin's things and almost having to pick him up from the chair by his arm.

"N...nothing, not here... Just get me home, please?" Quin said, suddenly aware of how many people were now watching them both, the sound of smart phone cameras going off around them.

Xander steered them both away from the crowd and down to the V.I.P parking area, Quin almost diving into Xanders car, a sudden wave of anxiety hitting him. Once Xander had started driving, Quin felt that all too familiar wave of terror welling up inside of him.

His breathing became difficult, his skin didn't feel like his own. Everything felt like it was crawling all over him, his clothes, the seatbelt. Even the air from the air-con felt suffocating as he realized he was having another panic attack.

"It's ok Quin, just concentrate on your breathing like we learned about. We will be home soon, don't you worry." Xander spoke.

He had seen Quin have panic attacks many times before, he had struggled with them a lot at first. They had even taken classes together on how to help Quin through his episodes, and although distressing he knew Quin would be ok.

Quin didn't remember getting home, he had come round from the attack curled up on his couch with Ryan's parka still firmly held in his arms. Xander was pacing whilst talking quietly on the phone, he looked rather more worried than he normally did when Quin had a panic attack, but then Quin didn't normally lose chunks of time.

He slowly sat himself up, the noise of the leather couch alerting Xander.

"He's awake, I'll call you back Kat!" Xander said putting down his phone and rushing over to Quin.

"Hey, you ok? You were really starting to worry me there, never seen you go under so much before..."

Quin's head ached horribly, his throat was dry as a bone too, he looked around and pointed to the kitchen.

"C..could you get me a drink..?" He asked, Xander nodding and grabbing a glass and filling it with water before rushing back over.

Quin slowly sipped the cold water before sighing, looking down to the parka in his lap. Why was he feeling like this? He had to swallow his pride, he needed help and Xander was the only person he trusted enough to ask.