Can you heal old scars?

Chapter 14

Quin's whole body shook as he squared his shoulders and stood in front of Ryan, who had stopped his pacing and was now looking at Quin, an angry and somewhat confused expression now on his face.

The urge to run and hide, to submit and bow down was pounding in Quin's ears, but there was another urge, one that until now had been covered in layers of fear. The urge to stand up and protect himself.

He had worked long and hard to leave the frightened and ruined boy of his past behind, and he wasn't about to get dragged back there by anyone. That wasn't who he was anymore, and Quin knew it.

The day at the dock had shown him that he didn't have to bow down. He wasn't a coward, he wasn't some scared kid, he wouldn't let himself be pushed around again. The feeling of needing to submit or run away seemed to feel artificial to Quin in that moment, like it wasn't coming from him, but from something else. For the first time he pushed against the feeling, and he found himself suddenly shouting back at Ryan.

"I don't know what you think my motivations were for doing what I did, but it certainly wasn't because I was showing off or wanted to undermine you! I'm not trying to disrespect you, I'm not even trying to argue with you, believe it or not! Like I already told you before Ryan, I haven't always had the money I have now. I grew up in a place like this, actually we had less than you do! Because we didn't have phone lines and internet access, we barely had a working generator or running water! But it was home and I loved it, just like I love it here. So don't you dare think that this is some sort of game to me. My life back in New York, that's the game, that's not real. This is!"

Quin's fists shook as his body tensed for a hit he knew was coming, and yet he couldn't stop himself from continuing.

"I don't want to just up and leave, Ryan. But I don't see how I can stay with you pushing me around, or pushing me away all the time! You make me feel like I'm completely unwanted, like I should run and hide every time your around. Headaches, being sick, annoyed and like I shouldn't approach you, I dunno what you're doing to me, but whatever it is I don't deserve it!"

Ryan still hadn't hit him, actually he seemed to be somewhat bewildered, but Quin was on a roll now and decided to push his luck further.

"I know I didn't take the test willingly, and I know that pissed you off. I had my reasons, and they had nothing to do with you. I held no animosity towards you, Ryan. Not until you started all this weird Alpha magic bullshit, and started making me feel like crap. I knew this was going to be difficult, but I wanted to at least try to be friends!"

Silence fell between them both, Quin breathing heavily as he leant against a tree, and Ryan simply watching in a sort of awe.

There was plenty that Ryan wanted to say, but the only thing his brain could grab onto was..

"Alpha magic bullshit?"

Quin blinked as Ryan looked at him, his fists weren't clenched anymore and his posture wasn't as stiff, he actually looked genuinely confused. But it had to be Ryan doing this to him right? It was the only thing that made any sense.

Ryan looked at Quin, sure he was leaning on a tree and looked like he would pass out but this was a side of him that Ryan had never seen. Despite the fact he could barely hold himself up, he looked powerful, determined. Ryan couldn't stop the small smile that now curled the corner of his mouth, this was different.

Quin's colour started to return as he realized that Ryan wasn't attacking him, on the contrary he was... smiling?

Quin stood up straight again, taking a few paces towards Ryan, expecting to feel the sudden shooting pain in his head, the burning in his neck, but everything had reduced to nothing more than a dull throb.