Never Say Never

7. I Don't Like This

                                                                                       R Y D E R

 "Why did you have to talk about that?' I ask Johnny frustrated that I fucking care that he heard. I know I shouldn't because I can't care about anyone else in my life. I am having enough of a struggle with everyone that is here now.

"What?" He looks at me with innocence, but he does not understand this war inside me for a moment's peace. The only person who has done that since I have been back was Josh and I barely know him. "You never had a problem with it before." He is right but that was before and now I don't like it at all. I can see the regret on his face, so I just pat him on the back to ease his mind.

"No worries. Just don't really care for everyone to know my business. You good here?" Pointing to the grill and he nods his head.

I don't know why I had the urge to go check on him, but I did. Unfortunately, a very pissed off librarian was blocking my path.

"What the hell did you do to him?" I can hear the anger in her voice, but she is polite enough not to make a scene. "Nothing, Johnny and I were just talking, and he overheard something. But by the look of his dad, I say that's the problem."  I can feel the anger rising inside me burning ready to explode.

"That's something only Josh can talk about if he wants to." I nod my head because I can respect that. I go to walk in the house, but she grabs my hand, and she chews on her lip. "Please don't hurt him. He's been hurt enough in his life." With that she walks away, and I wonder who the hell has hurt him. For some damn strange felling to protect him from whoever it is. That guy is just full of light, and no one should snuff that out of him.

I don't even knock when I can hear the sink running as I walk in. Seeing him like this feels weird because he looks drained. It does not suit him at all, and I don't like it one bit. I wanted to know what was bothering him and see that smile on his face again. 

But of course, the first thing I think of is "I didn't know you knew Lucas." We banter back and forth blah, blah, blah until something else sparks in his eyes.

"If anyone calls you Cowboy again." He walks right up to me, as I take a step back where I hit the wall. Why the fuck am I letting him do this? He looks me up and down and his eyes land on my crotch. Why is this not making me uncomfortable like it should? "Let's just say you will not be able to use that." He looks up at me. "In a good way for a very long time. That's my fucking name for you." Fuck! I can feel myself harden from his gaze. Shit!  This is not good. I wonder why he hasn't asked me what really happened yet. Anyone else would that is for sure the nosey bastards.

                                                                           24 Hours Earlier...

"Let me help you forget." I follow her out of the bar like a lost puppy. I just need to get him out of my damn head. The moment we get in her apartment my lips are on hers again in a desperate need to know what is going on inside my head. She moans into the kiss as her hands roam up and down my chest. I can feel her nails through the fabric of my shirt. 

I honestly don't know where I want to put my hands, so I keep them on her face. That is until she pulls apart from me and starts to unzip my pants.  "I promise you will forget everything for the rest of the night." She purrs as her hand slips inside my boxers and her fingers graze over my dick. I feel it twitch but nothing else really happens as she starts to stroke my shaft. Her lips are on my neck and then she whispers in my ear. "What do you say Cowboy?" I groan as I close my eyes as she nibbles on my ear.

I harden at that name, and I curse myself for it. "You like that name, don't you?" Not opening my eyes, I can't even hear her anymore as different images float across my mind.